The harsh sunlight tickled my eyelids as I slowly turned over,my head digging comfortably back into the cinnamon apple scented pillow.
I groaned,wishing whatever made that noise wouldn't make it again and successfully wake me up from my blissful slumber.
''Baby.'' Someone whispered again,shaking me slightly.
''Go away.'' I groaned,pushing their arms off me.
They chuckled and sat on the end of the bed leaning over and kissing my hand.
My eyes slowly opened with a small smile on my face.
I adjusted my eyes to the bright light and my smile was instantly wiped off as I took in the features of Justin's face.
Thousands of thoughts rushed through my head at that exact moment. ''G-Gun.'' I whispered,gripping the blankets in my sweaty palms.
Justin's smile dropped almost straight away and he tried to grab my shaking hand.
I snatched it away and glared at him.
''Y-You had a gun.'' I growled.
''Shut up! just- just shut up for one moment!'' I yelled,running my hands through my hair.
''I-It was in your glove compartment...Why?''
''I-I can explain!''
''Well hurry the fuck up Justin!'' I growled.
Justin flinched,looking down at his lap.
I had to remind myself that I wasn't a part of his life any more..therefore I have no right to know.
''S-Sorry.'' I replied. ''I didn't mean to be so harsh...I have no right to know.''
Justin shook his head,letting out a much needed breath.
''There's something that's been apart of my life for a while now..and I guess it's time to tell you.''
I could feel my head get heavier and heavier...my eyes becoming blurry for no reason at all.
Did he have a girlfriend? was he in a relationship with Emily? am I missing something important?
My eyes threatened to leak salty tears at the thought..
Wait...why the fuck do I care? why am I feeling this way even if he does?
Before I could argue with my thoughts Justin let out a ramble of words which took so long to process in my brain.
''I-I'm in a gang.''
When I finally pieced together his words I became numb..was he serious?
''I've been apart of it since March...about a month after we um....split up.'' Justin coughed,twisting his palms in his lap.
I hadn't noticed but I missed his birthday...March 1st....do you know how bad that makes me feel?
Shut up..that wasn't your business any more.
Justin will always be my business...
Justin began to rub his eyes with the back of his hand before he looked over to me.
That ticked something in my brain...
''Yeah,I heard he's been doing weed for a while now...talk about bad influence.'' Niah murmured,talking to her bestfriend Jaylen as they casually walked past me.
I couldn't help but wonder who they were talking about,so I let go of Austin's hand and walked over.
''Hey um,sorry to bother you guys..but I kinda overheard your conversation and I was just wandering who you were talking about.''
Niah looked me up and down before she glanced at Jaylen. ''Bless her,I forgot they broke up.'' She chuckled,before she began to walk away.
And at that point I know they were shading Justin...but I wondered if it was true.
''So it's true then.'' I murmured,more to myself though.
Justin faced me,his brow furrowed. ''What's true?''
I took a deep breath and focused my attention else where.
''That you smoke weed..people have seen you with bloodshot eyes walking around..I just-''
But before I could finish Justin let out a bitter laugh..shaking his head. ''If only you knew.'' He murmured.
''What do you mean?''
''I wasn't smoking weed.''
''Well then why were your-''
''I was crying.''
I couldn't bring myself to look at Justin at this point.
''You know why I was crying?'' He asked,glancing at me.
I didn't look up..I was too scared that his reply would be something I didn't want to hear.
''I was crying because I endured endless days of pain..caused by you.''
''That night I couldn't stop crying..I knew I was set up but you would never give me the time to explain..I-I thought I lost you,so I did some stupid things.'' He whispered,a single tear tracing down his cheek.
My eyes slowly drifted down to his wrists and I instantly gasped. ''J-Justin..you didn't.''
''Y-You left me...you promised forever..''
''I was left to suffer this whole fucking time while you cuddled up to Austin..you know what? weed would of actually been a good escape,I would forget about your ass for a while.''
My breath caught in my throat and I instantly looked away from him,clutching the blanket in my hands.
Justin's head snapped over to me and he shook his head. ''No..I didn't mean that..-''
''It's okay...I understand.''
''No you don't,I didn't mean it like that Tori..I-I just meant-''
''You wanted to forget about me.''
''You forgot about me though.''
''I never forgot about you,Justin. Although I tried to stop it..you would always be on my mind..everything Austin did,I would wonder if you could do it better..I just didn't want to admit it.''
''Of course..you were my first love.''
''You don't love me anymore?'' Justin cracked,a single tear sliding down his cheek.
For the bad boy character he portrayed I guess you could say he didn't suit it right now.
I guess I was his weakness.
''Justin...you did stuff that hurt me...besides Austin came along and-''
''Stole your heart?''
I shook my head,I didn't want to do this right now.
I got out of the bed and walked into the bathroom,slamming the door behind me.
I locked it and sat on the toilet seat,running my hands through my hair as the tears poured out.
Why did he have to be so hard on me?
He knows I'm just as angry at what Austin did...
He wouldn't stop beating me up about how I made the wrong choices...
I just couldn't take it.
I heard soft breathing outside the door so I quickly got up and turned on the shower,so he knew I was in here for a reason and not to cry.
It felt like Justin had walked off again so I quickly stripped and got in the shower.
I needed a steamy shower to clear my thoughts..the hospital showers were disgusting to say the least.
I was just about to get out the shower when I slipped backwards,hitting my head on the small basket suctioned to the wall.
My razor fell out of the basket and landed directly on my foot,skinning a small portion of skin off my ankle.
I let out a cry and fell to the floor of the shower.
It hurt so bad...
I was downstairs waiting for Tori to get out the shower to continue our chat.
I sighed running my hands through my damp hair..it still hadn't fully dried since my shower.
I frowned and walked up the stairs.
What was wrong with her?
''HELP!'' She cried,a heartbreaking cry leaving her lips.
I ran into the room not seeing her body anywhere.
She must still be in the bathroom.
''What's wrong?'' I asked,rattling the door handle.
It wouldn't open.
''I-I fell and cut my foot! please help it really hurts!'' She whimpered.
I walked away.
I then turned around and rammed my shoulder into the door,feeling it come off it's hinges slightly.
I did it again...and then again before the door was fully off.
There on the floor in front of me was my damsel in distress,wrapped up in a furry white towel,clutching her bleeding leg.
''Shit.'' I muttered,crouching down and examining the deep cut.
I got back up and searched high and low for a first aid kit,and soon found one under the sink.
I sat on the floor next to her and got out the needed equipment.
I grabbed the gauze and wrapped it around her foot after I cleaned out the cut.
She wouldn't stop whimpering.
''Shh shh..here,hold my hand if it stings.'' I murmured,offering her my hand as she took it hesitantly.
I applied the solution to clean the cut and she immediately flinched. ''Don't move baby.''
She obeyed and stayed stationary,looking at me the whole time I applied the gauze.
I pretended I didn't see her staring,but inside I was dying.
To know that such a beautiful girl had her full attention on me was amazing.
The gauze would help to keep in the blood as the cut was fairly deep,no plaster would work.
Once the gauze was placed,I cut off the excess and patted her knee. ''All done.''
She smiled shakily.
I leaned up and wiped away her tears with the pads on my thumbs. ''Don't cry..It hurts to see you in pain.''
That only brought more tears on...
I couldn't help but let out a sob as I looked at Justin's tired eyes.
He must be so tired after staying with me the whole time I was a patient in the hospital.
''I'm sorry I d-did this to you.'' I whispered,leaning over and running my hands through his hair.
Justin didn't say anything,he was startled by my direct contact.
''Someone should of told you to go home...to rest. You shouldn't have been sleep deprived because of me Justin.'' I whispered,taking my hands back into my lap.
''I wanted to..you needed support and Taylor couldn't be there because of the babies.''
''Justin..you left the room only to get food..you hadn't showered or slept...do you know how guilty that makes me feel?''
''Tori.'' Justin stated,grabbing my hands and entwining them with his. ''You know I'd follow you to the damn moon and back...I don't care if we weren't even acquaintances back then..but I saw you getting hurt,and even though I was still hurting I put you first...like it should be,you come before anything else in my life..even my family,I know you won't believe it but it's true...I was completely lost without you and I'm not trying to make you feel guilty..I just want you to know that I still love you,and you always have and always will be my princess.''
Not one word slipped my mouth,I couldn't..it was too dangerous.
I knew my big mouth would ruin the moment me and Justin shared so I said nothing,just taking in the features I so dearly missed.
From his tousled caramel fluffy hair,to his gorgeous brown orbs and finally...his pink plump lips that I so badly wanted to feel against mine again.
But I knew I couldn't let my guard down again..
I've been hurt so many times and developed so many trust issues that I don't know if I can trust him again...let alone anyone.
You see,most people I've known have betrayed me somehow..my dad fucked off to some foreign country with this secretary. My mom married Harry's father somewhere..and I don't know when the last time I called her was. Harry kissed me when I told him not to...Derek cheated and raped me.Austin completely lied to me and used me. And finally...Justin,who's lied to me countless times...hit me...verbally abused me...
But I couldn't help the positive thoughts and good memories I've had with Justin flow into my head.
Like when he chased me around the cabin back last year in the snow and ended up falling on his butt.
But he soon got his own back on me when he tripped me up on accident and sent me backwards into the snow..but he quickly recovered his bitch move by kissing me.
Oooh and that time when he brought me that necklace with our favourite song on it..and when-
I had to snap out of the thoughts because I hand't realised but Justin was inching closer..he wanted to kiss me.
But I couldn't let him..I couldn't let my guard down again.
''Uh well Ima gunna go get changed.'' I murmured,getting up off the floor before he could kiss me.
I heard Justin sigh behind me and I instantly felt bad.
''Thank you though Justin...for everything.'' I replied,walking back over to him and lightly kissing his cheek.
I watched over my shoulder as a huge grin replaced his frown,and he brought his fingers up to his cheek where I had kissed it,smiling contently.
I laughed and walked into my closet.
Who knew a kiss on the cheek meant so much to him?
That was rhetorical..don't answer that.
I was now lying on the couch,it must of been at least 2 o'clock in the afternoon,I had been watching American Horror Story on Netflix for almost 3 hours.
I didn't even look up when Justin walked in with this massive green thing...I couldn't take my eyes off Tate.
Him and violet are my otp and I don't care what you say.
I watched as Justin sighed before he sat down on the opposite couch.
I payed no attention to what he was doing and continued to watch Violet try to run out the house..but failing every time.
A couple of minutes later The scene where Tate trys to get Violet to listen comes on..but Violet want's him gone..
''I know how you feel bruh.'' Justin sighed,shaking his head as Tate tried to express his love to Violet.
I ignored that comment and turned it up louder,feeling guilty was the last thing I wanted to be feeling right now.
I just wanted to relax and watch my favourite programme without anything interrupting it.
A couple of minutes passed and I felt an uncomfortable feeling coming from Justin's way.
I glanced over to see him intently staring at me..he knew I saw but he kept staring,making this whole situation so awkward.
''Justin could you stop?'' I asked,after the intense staring got to much.
''Staring...your staring at me.'' I replied,giving him a stern look.
''Sorry if I just admire your beauty..unless that's a crime too now.'' He replied bitterly,taking out a pack of something out of his pocket and placing it on the empty seat next to him.
''Justin are they-''
Before I could question him his phone began to ring loudly.
I sighed and sat back in the chair,knowing it's better if I just let him answer the call.
''Mom?'' Justin asked into the phone,glancing up at me quickly.
I looked away and focused on the Tv.
I could faintly hear her replies.
''Hey sweetie..I have a favour...Erin's out of town for a couple of weeks and Jeremy is busy so he won't have time to take Jazmyn to her ballet classes..could you-''
''I cant.'' Justin sighed,kicking his feet up onto the coffee table as he flicked the lighter on and off in his other hand.
''Tori's here and I want to be with her today..you know?''
''Justin..you could both take her? it's at 7 o'clock..I'm sure-''
''No mom,I can't..I want to spend every second of this day with Tori..I probably won't have another day like this with her...so I want to make it count.''
''Justin...I know sweetie,I know Tori's there but Jazzy needs to attend this..the sessions are expensive and I'm sure your dad wouldn't like it if she let the sessions go to waste.''
''Mom I said no..so just leave it.''
I sighed,I had enough. ''Justin,take her ok? it's completely fine..it's only a 20 minute drive.''
''Tori no...I want to spend this day with yo-''
''Listen to me...your little sister would be dissapointed if you didn't take her right? so please just do it...do it for Jazzy?''
''I already said-''
''Do it for me?''
Justin sighed,running his hands through his hair. ''I can't...I haven't seen you in nearly a year Tori...I'm not letting anything ruin this day.''
I shook my head. ''Justin please? its all I ask..I'll even come with you if you want?''
''No..I'm staying right here..with you.''
I sighed. ''I'm so disappointed in you right now...your sister's going to be disappointed too.''
''It's not the first time they've been disappointed.'' He replied bitterly before he muttered a quick 'bye' to his mom before hanging up.
''Jazzy found my cigs in my pocket one day and she immediately came up to me and hit me,crying her eyes out...she had figured out what the box said and told me that smoking kills..''
I paused,did this really happen?bless her.
''She said that I was going to die soon and she will be disappointed in me for it...do you know how that made me feel? I started because I was depressed over the whole break up..she wouldn't stop yelling at me for it..she said to me that if Tori was here,I would listen to her..she said I'd listen to you but not her..so that's when she started crying and calling out your name,wanting you to come over here to tell me to stop,but she didn't know you couldn't..it was so hard explaining to her but I did it in a way that was a lot softer,but she still cried and told me I was stupid for leaving you..but she didn't know you left me,so I had to keep apologising to her but she wouldn't stop crying..she said we were supposed to get married and adopt her because she wanted you to be her mommy,I couldn't tell her that would never happen..it would crush her.''
''I felt worthless...Imagine your little sister telling you to quit smoking and you don't have the decency to tell her you will...because I can't..it's a habit of mine now...an addiction.''
''Justin I feared you would start smoking...but I thought it would be from mixing with the wrong crowd..but instead it was me who brought it on.''
''This break up has completely ruined me Tori..and I would do absolutely anything to have you back in my arms...they feel so empty without you in them..I didn't have a snuggle buddy-''
''I'm sure you've seen other girls in that time Justin.'' I frowned. Was he serious? he's the best looking boy in Stratford...of course he got girls.
He began to laugh. ''Would you believe me if I told you I only have eyes for you? I want you and no one else.''
correct me if I'm wrong but this was one long ass chapter:o
so this was quite emotional for Justin and Tori..
but it looks like Justin wont let anything get in the way of his and tori's day together..even his little sis.
Family comes first right?
But Justin's so loved up with Tori he doesn't realise it.
but will it be to late?
love you all:* keep fanning,love and commenting on this guys! and share with any friends if there looking for a fanfiction to read! new readers are always welcome:)
and I'm sorry but I don't proof read,so if there are any spelling mistake or misplacements of words don't correct me..I'll hopefully correct them some time in the future:)