I wiped the tears that once again trickled down my cheeks as I longingly looked out of the port window.
We were landing in 2 hours and I was so nervous ,I haven't been anywhere without Justin since we broke up and honestly I already feel lost.
I just wanted to get off this plane and find my hotel and jump into bed.
Yes that's right,Hotel...it was too tricky to get back my old house plus there were so many problems there since Justin decided to kill his brother,If I turned up there I'm sure I would get questioned on why I left Atlanta for nearly 2 years.
Justin has fucked up my family home...I can't even go back to the same neighbourhood because it will bring back way too many memories of what happened.
I closed my eyes and leaned back,shutting the thoughts out my head as the early morning hours passed by.
I shut off the engine and sprinted up to the warehouse,slamming my car door behind me and locking it in one swift moment.
''I fucked up.'' I confessed,walking into the conference room only to be greeted with all of the boy's confused faces.
''When have you ever not fucked up.'' Someone joked.
I brushed off what they said and walked to the head of the table. ''Guys I need your help more than ever now..this is no fucking joke.''
''What's wrong boss? is Austin fucking with you again?'' Someone chirped,handing me a glass of water.
I grabbed it and threw it against the wall,pacing the room angrily as the image of Tori walking away from me in the airport continuously ran through my mind.
''Tori's left me..and she's not coming back this time.'' I stared at them all,finding it hard to breathe.
Their faces dropped as they know Tori was always a touchy subject with me and I wouldn't really share my personal shit with them..so they knew this was no game.
''Bro,Where did she go?''
My eyes fixed on Kalin.
But before I could answer Jacob beat me too it. ''She's gone back to Atlanta.'' He sighed,glancing at me momentarily.
My eyes shot to his now red face and his gaze stayed at the floor as he shuffled his feet. ''How did you know that?'' I shot back,advancing on him as she shifted away.
''Uh,she messaged me and I-'' I lunged forward and grabbed his phone knowing his passcode was his mothers birthday. ''Shut up.'' I growled,surfing through his messages.
I clicked on his conversation with Tori and scrolled up,reading their conversation from 2 days ago.
Hey Jacob,I just wanna say thank you so much for helping me with this whole incident and guiding me to the decision I knew I wouldn't regret making,I just hope when Justin finds out he won't come looking for me...You're a true friend Jacob and you're always welcome to come and see me,Just don't bring Bieber lol,love you buddy:) x
I locked his phone and looked up at him. ''You knew she was going to Atlanta?'' I growled,walking forwards so I towered over him.
Jacob muttered a string of curse words under his breath as she shook his head. ''No.'' he lied.
'' Jacob don't you dare fucking lie to me...did you honestly let the love of my life walk away from me?DID YOU HONESTLY FUCKING DO THAT?'' I growled,grabbing him by the collar and pinning him up against the wall.
Jacobs face turned red and he was struggling to breathe. ''And I called you my day one..my best fucking friend..meanwhile you were helping my girlfriend leave me behind my back.'' I hissed,I let his limp body drop to the floor as I walked away.
''Y-You don't deserve her.'' Jacob spluttered,sitting up and shaking his head at me.
I chuckled bitterly before I turned around and slammed my sneaker onto his chest. Ha collapsed under the pressure and began coughing again. I pulled out my gun and held it above his head.
My eyes were pulsating and my neck was straining so bad. ''Don't you dare try to tell me who my girl deserves and who she doesn't...Who the fuck do you think you are?!'' I laughed. ''Back stabbing piece of shit! I could easily pull the trigger and end your life right now you faggot! Don't say shit to me when you know I wouldn't hesitate to fuck you up...Ive done that shit once and I would do it again.'' I seethed ,placing my gun back into the belt under my shirt,I pressed my sneaker into his chest more before I walked away.
Everyone around the conference table looked scared shitless. ''If any of Y'all try to fuck with me too,you know what's coming.'' I called out,walking out the door and slamming it behind me.
But as soon as I was out of the warehouse I completely broke down. It hasn't fully sunk into me yet that Tori had left me.
Those words that passed my lips back at the airport was my last resort to get her to stay..I wasn't thinking straight..but now that I look at it,Shooting myself wouldn't seem that bad..I had a gun after all.
I had made my mind up...I had lost Tori,And now Jacob...There was no one that could possibly make me stay..but before I did anything I really had to see my mom,Jazzy and Jax.
I climbed up the steps to the front porch and knocked on the door.
It was quarter to 4 in the morning by the time I got there. and I was so shattered.
Muffled sounds were heard behind the door and I rolled my eyes just as Pattie opened the door.
She frowned but that soon turned into a smile once she saw me. ''Justin? It's late! why are you here this late?'' She asked,pulling me inside quietly. ''Is everything okay??''
I shook my head and pulled her into a tight hug.
Little did she know this would be the last time she held me in her arms..
Suddenly padded feet were heard from down the hallway and my eyes fixed on Jaxon once he saw my figure stood by the door.
He smiled and ran up to me,nearly tripping in the process as he was half a sleep. ''Justin!'' He chimed,wrapping his strong little arms around my neck and pulling me down.
''What's going on?'' someone mumbled.
I turned around to see Jazzy stride into the room in crutches squinting at the light as she tried to make out who woke her up from her peaceful slumber. ''Justy?'' She whispered,rushing over to me nearly stumbling over her crutches.
I smiled down at my little princess and carefully hugged her. ''Hey baby girl,how are you?'' I cooed,kissing her forehead.
She nodded. ''I'm ok Justy,How are you? Where's Tori?'' She asked panicking slightly as she tried to look behind me to see if she was stood in the doorway.
I had to lie to her,the truth would hurt her so much. ''She's at home,I wanted to see my little cherubs'' I forced a smile and picked her up carefully setting her down on the couch.
Jaxon whined and starting jumping on the cushions. ''I'm not tired anymore Pattie'' He whined.
''You gotta sleep sweetie,your daddy will be mad if I didn't make you guys sleep.'' She chuckled.
''Where's my old man and Erin?'' I pondered,pulling Jax onto my lap as I looked up at Pattie.
''they wanted some time alone so I offered to babysit.'' she replied.
''Ew,I don't want another sibling thanks...these two are enough'' I joked,tickling Jaxon.
''You love me right Justy?'' Jazzy pouted.
I grinned. ''of course I do princess,I was teasing you both.''
She nodded quickly and hugged me one last time. ''Well I love you too,you're the best big brother ever.'' She grinned leaning up and kissing my cheek. ''I want you and Tori to get married and then we can be your children.'' She giggled.
''It doesn't work like that Jaz'' Pattie laughed.
I smiled half heartedly and nodded my head.
If only Jazzy..
Jax had fallen asleep on my lap so Pattie carried him back to bed whilst Jazzy followed.
I got up and made a quick exit through the door as I knew if I said a proper goodbye I wouldn't be able to go through with what I had planned.
''I love you both so much'' I whispered before I shut the door.
I jogged back to my car and climbed in as a fresh set of tears fell from my tired eyes.
'I was out there on the road,Life out of control..she became a victim to my busy schedule'
The radio blared,as it was almost 3 by the time I had reached the forest.
I slid my phone into my back pocket and grabbed my jacket and left my car open,I didn't care if someone stole it...I wouldn't need it where I was going.
I was trudging through the woods,every step I took a memory of me and Tori ran through my mind..
It was all just a distant memory now...a beautiful distant memory.
I found the perfect large fat free and rested my belongings on me,by the side of the tree.
I took out my wallet and opened it,smiling at the photo of me and Tori with Jazzy and Jaxon that one night.
We all looked so happy,oh how the tables have turned..
I threw it on the floor and pulled out my piece of paper I had wrote on all those years ago,it was my suicide note Tori found under my bed that night I was going to kill myself after I went through another beating from Derek.
I Remember exactly what happened in that moment,How she reacted to finding my suicide letter..I promised her I wouldn't think of committing suicide again.
Looks like I broke my promise To you Tori,I'm sorry.
My eyes scanned the letter and it all still applied to my situation..nothing had changed,I was still alone and so broken beyond repair.
'Someday I will give up'
My 'someday' was shorter than I would of ever thought..I thought me and Tori would of lasted a life time..
All good things come to an end though..
I watched as a tear fell from my eye and slightly smudged the ink on the paper,I shook my head and threw that on the floor too.
I pulled out my gun from my belt and took the safety off it. I raised it to my head and took a deep breath.
''I won't be hurt anymore..I'll be free'' I smiled,looking up as I was ready to pull the trigger as the tip was pressed into my temple.
I scrunched my face up as I slowly pulled on the leaver.
'All I care about is money in the city that I'm from,Ima-'
My phone blared indicating someone was in the process of calling me.
''Fuck'' I growled,I tried to focus again and waited for the ring to die out.
But once it did,a voicemail came through.
I shook my head..It was now or never.
I tried to ignore the cracking on the phone as I dug the tip of the gun further into my temple.
I closed my eyes..
'I just don't know what to do...I love him so much,I would do anything for him'
Tori's voice chimed in my ears as the other end of the phone continued to rustle.
'But Katie..you don't understand...I'm not sure if I made the right decision leaving him...Its almost as if my mind is telling me to get the next flight to Canada and hug the shit out of him and cry into his shoulder about why I never should of left him' she then spoke,it was muffled but I could hear her clearly.
I stopped and dropped the gun. I picked up the phone and realised it said unknown,it must've been from Tori's new phone or something?
The tears splashed onto my phone as I desperately tried to hear her.
'I Might call him in a few days and see how he's getting on because if he did something stupid I would never forgive myself Katie,I care about him so Fucking much,I miss his voice..his smile,I miss him so much and I just want to tell him everything is gonna be ok ..-oh god,what if he's done something stupid? I NEED TO CALL HIM!' she screamed,more rustling happened and suddenly the phone went silent before she gasped.
'oh my god Katie this is not happening,Katie I'm about to throw up...This has been recording for the past 30 seconds as a voice mail message to Justin..I didn't even know I called him! I BUTT DIALLED HIM OH MY GOD ' she screamed.
A small smile lit up on my face and I pressed accept on the phone before it went off.
I waited for her to speak but she never did.
''Tori'' I whispered,my voice nothing louder than a whisper.
''Justin'' She whispered back,her voice shaky.
''Y-You just saved my life'' I muttered,looking down at the gun on the floor.
''What! Justin what do you mean?!'' She hissed.
I shook my head and hung up the phone before I picked up the gun again,I poured out the bullets into my hand and stuffed them into the hole in the tree.
She still loves me...
IM SO HAPPY WITH THE WAY THIS CHAPTER HAS TURNED OUT OMG
so this chapter was so emotional even im getting the feels...tysm for all of the positive comments,love you all so much! please check out my other stories if you Haven't already💜