an: so it looks like that whole thing worked where i had to get 15 comments for another update...so it will continue:) and I may do a surprise after every chapter if you guys keep it up:p
on with the story:)
Justin had spent the night over at mine and Taylor's apartment sleeping on the couch.
Yes we may have kissed but I still need to be cautious.
It was now morning at I had recently woken up to small sob's coming from the living area.
And when I had gone to investigate it lead me to a broken Justin sat up against a wall crying with a picture in his hand.
''Justin?'' I whispered,cautiously stepping closer to him.
He continued to stare at the picture mumbling words so quietly the room almost seemed silent.
I walked over and sat down next to him,I brought him closer to me and let him cry into my neck as I ran my fingers through his hair soothingly.
''Shh...what's wrong?'' I soothed,picking up the picture in my other hand.
It was a photo of me Justin and Jazzy when we stayed for the first time.
It must have been in his wallet as I have never seen this before,I don't even remember this being taken.
I was lifting Jazzy up as she smiled down at me in adoration,I was kissing her cheek as she gripped the Barbie I gave to her,Justin was sat on the floor in the corner with Jax on his lap,staring up at is in awe...he looked so in love...he looked so happy.
Justin gripped onto my shirt tighter as I felt his salty tears seep through my oversized shirt.
''Justin what's wrong?'' I asked,grabbing his jawbone in each hand and making him look up at me.
''J-Jazzy.'' He whispered,his eyes pouring into mine.
They were filled with so much sadness,the colour of his normal chocolate brown eyes were no where to be seen,and were replaced with light hazel ones instead.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his set of dirty blonde hair.
''I-I got a call from my m-mom this morning.'' He sobbed,wrapping his arms tighter around me.
I was restricted of air but right now I didn't care,he needed comfort and that was exactly what I was going to give him.
''S-She has a broken leg,2 broken ribs,both of her arms are dislocated and her wrist is broken,she has had 83 stitches to the gash on her forehead and has had severe concussion.'' He mumbled into my shirt.
My breathing instantly stopped.
Poor baby...she's utterly broken.
''Oh my goodness.'' I croaked.
I couldn't believe it.
Justin began to cry harder,to the point where it was hard for him to speak from the constant hiccups and abnormal breathing. ''I-It's all m-my fault!'' He growled,shaking his head as he held onto me tighter. ''Hate me like s-she does,wh-whatever..but p-please d-don't say anything right now...t-there's nothing you can s-say to make this better.'' He cried.
I grabbed his hands and pulled him up before I sat down on the couch.
I knew he was tired,he must of been beating himself up over this all night and morning and lacks in rest.
I sat up on the couch as Justin gripped tighter around my waist,he slowly set himself down on my lap and dug his head into my stomach,sobbing hysterically.
''Shh baby.'' I whispered,running my hands through his super soft hair.
''I hate my-myself so much,I do nothing but w-wrong.'' He cried out after a moment of silence.
''Justin,your the best person you can be..we all fuck up,but we always have to come back stronger and fight our problems,in my eyes your a hero and a role model,I know you may not trust me when I say this..but I've never stopped caring about you,your special to me,Justin. Don't you dare think for one minute that your alone in this...I'm right here through everything.''
Justin gripped me so tight I thought he was going to hurt me.
''I love you with all my heart.'' He whimpered,shakily kissing my clothed stomach. ''I adore you so much.''
I smiled sadly.
I wish I could say it back...I wish I could say I loved him,but I'm not sure if my feelings are the same.
Justin was obviously waiting for a reply which he never recieved.
''Get some sleep,you must be tired.'' I murmured,leaning down and kissing his cheek.
He rolled over and looked up at me,smiling sadly.
''I wish you'd say it back one day...but I understand..you can fall in love quick...but you can fall out of it just as fast.'' He shakily whispered.
That broke my heart,I wanted nothing more than to say it back but I couldn't do it.
''I just want you to know that I still love you,that's all you need to know..I don't need a reply,I understand.''
I wanted to burst into tears at the way he was speaking. He sounded so upset and broken,but somehow strong enough to sound calm at the same time.
Justin sighed and slowly closed his eyes before he moved back,facing his back towards the TV,digging his head into my stomach.
I continued to run my hands through his hair as I knew this helped him settle down and finally fall asleep.
When I knew he was completely out of it I sat back and sighed.
I need to get his mind off Jazzy for a little while,he needed to relax and know that there is a rainbow at the end of a storm.
Suddenly an idea sparked to mind and I instantly grinned,knowing Justin would like what I had in store for him.
Let's start planning.
It was now half past 8 that same night and I had finished planning the surprise 2 hours ago.
Justin was still sleeping on my lap until an hour ago where he trudged upstairs and said he wanted some 'alone time'
That was perfect for me to go back to the cabin and pack his bag.
So here I was,just finishing up with his suitcase when I received a text from Justin.
Where are you?'
If only you knew Justin.
'One and only:
I'm out getting a gift for Jazzy.'
He didn't reply after that and I quickly locked up the cabin and shoved his case into the trunk.
And without a look back I drove off back to the apartment block,knowing full well Justin wasn't suspicious of what I was doing.
We were going to see Jazzy tonight before I took him away straight after on our small trip.
I was so exited to see Justin's reaction to what I have planned,hopefully he's thankful and can finally relax.
Justin gripped my hand tighter as we walked down the hall to Jazzy's hospital room.
He was breathing abnormally and just as I reached for the door he pulled me back and shook his head. ''No...I don't think I can do this.'' He croaked,shaking his head violently.
I leaned over and kissed his cheek. ''I'm by your side,always...you don't feel comfortable? squeeze my hand and I'll get us out of there okay? I'm right here.'' I reassured him,squeezing his hand one last time before I opened the door.
Jazzy was watching an episode of my little pony on the Tv hanging down from the bed.
As soon as Justin's scent wafted through the room she looked over and her eyes instantly lit up.
''Beeber!'' She giggled,trying to move in the bed but failing and letting out a small yelp.
She leaned back on the pillow and squeezed her eyes shut,her lip quivering as a tear fell from her rosy cheeks.
I could almost hear Justin's heart shatter next to me as he watched his little sister yelp in agony.
He looked over at me and shook his head,his eyes watering as he searched my eyes. ''I-I can't.'' He croaked.
Almost a second later a doctor bustled into the room,pushing past Justin as he ran to Jazzy's bedside.
''Sweetie,I told you...you can't move so fast,you still have a poorly head and tummy.'' He replied sadly,patting his own stomach.
She sniffled,her lip still quivering as she nodded her head.
''Don't cry sweetie,I know it hurts but we don't like tears here! I'll give you a princess sticker if you stop crying? you've been such a good girl!'' He smiled,pulling out a sheet of stickers out his pocket.
She leaned forwards and looked at all the stickers and slowly lifted up her cast covered arm and pointed to a purple sticker with a brunette princess in a blue Cinderella dress. ''S-She looks like me.'' Jazzy whimpered,sticking the sticker on her hospital robe.
The doctor nodded his head sweetly before he grabbed her orange peel and dumped it into the trash.
He exited the room sending an apologetic smile to Justin who stood there staring at Jazmyn's figure.
''Towee!'' She squealed,once she noticed me holding her brothers hand.
I waved at her,walking forwards as Justin's hand slipped out of mine.
''Hey sweetie,are you feeling better?'' I asked,brushing her hair out of her face.
She nodded her head slightly,trailing her eyes over to Justin.
''Why isn't he talking to me? doesn't he like me anymore?'' She asked,looking up at him with sad eyes.
I shook my head quickly. ''No...no sweetie,he's just very tired at the moment so he's not with it..he's a bit cuc-koo at the moment.'' I chuckled,waving my hand in front of his eyes as he continued to stare as Jazzy's broken leg.
She giggled and followed my actions. ''Beebs! look at me! hi!.'' She smiled,fiddling with the blanket.
Justin's eyes filled up with tears and he instantly turned around and rushed out the room.
I was shocked to say the least..I thought he would be okay with seeing her...
All of a sudden Jazzy burst into tears.
I had no idea what to do but almost instantly Pattie rushed in.
Talk about saved by the bell.
She rushed forwards and hugged Jazzy lightly,rocking her back and fourth. ''Oh honey,please don't cry.''
I used this moment to sneak out the room and try to search for Justin.
He shouldn't of gone far.
I ran down the hallway and stopped when I came to the lifts,I knew he wasn't able to ride in them so he hadn't come in this direction as the stairs were at the other end.
I began to jog in the other direction when I heard a small whimper to the left of me.
I turned around and instantly noticed Justin pushed up against a small wall crying into his hands.
I ran over and crouched in front of him.
''Justin-'' I started.
''D-Don't...I-I'm a monster.'' He hissed,pushing me away. ''Leave me alone..''
''I said leave me alone dammit!'' Justin growled,standing up and pushing me back.
He then towered over me,his breathing erratic and his eyes dark and angry.
He then walked away from me,picking up speed once he noticed I was getting up.
I saw him run into the bathroom and push open the door,letting it slam into the wall hard.
I don't care if I get hurt..I know he's only mad and upset about Jazzy..but he needs to realise this wasn't his fault.
I ran after him,following his footsteps and opening up the bathroom door cautiously.
Justin was hunched over the sink,breathing heavily as his eyes were fused shut.
Suddenly Justin hunched over and threw up into the sink,his knuckles turning white from how hard he was holding the sink.
I rushed forwards and rubbed his back muttering soothing things into his ear as he continued to throw up bile.
Once he had stopped he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and turned around.
''I'm a mess.'' He stated,looking at me with no emotion what so ever.
''No your not.'' I stated,grabbing his hand and trying to entwine it with mine.
He looked at me before letting my arm drop. ''The only reason were even in here is because I nearly killed my little sister.'' He growled.
''You didn't have anything to do with this Justin..they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.''
Justin laughed bitterly. ''If I took her to ballet that night maybe she would be able to walk properly.''
''Maybe if you stop blaming yourself for everything then your life will be worth living.'' I spat irritably.
Justin looked up at me,his face once again emotionless.
''Maybe if I just die I wont have to suffer any more.''
I swallowed the lump in my throat. ''You're not dying...if you take pills,I'll be the one to force my fingers down your throat so you cough them back up again,if you decide to jump off a bridge,I'll be at the bottom arms out,waiting for you to fall.'' I took a deep breath,a single tear trailing down my cheek. ''Don't you dare take the easy way out of this world..your here for a reason,you might just not know it yet.''
Justin just laughed,looking away from me as a bitter look passed over his face. ''No,it's not like that.'' He chuckled.
I grabbed his chin and made him look at me. ''Then what the fuck is it like then?'' I growled,stepping forwards.
His eyes flickered to there normal brown for a mili-second before they were back to there deathly black colour.
''Just let me be happy...let me leave this hell hole.'' He whispered,looking at me dead in the eyes.
''That may make you happy Justin,but think about all the people it would make angry,upset..distraught,if I let you kill yourself everyone would hate me...I would hate me.''
Justin rolled his eyes. ''Don't act like you care.''
''I do care Justin,more than you think.''
''You stopped caring after Austin entered your life.''
''You're so fucking selfish.'' I chuckled,the venom seeping off my fangs.
''You think just because I was happy again for a short while,I forgot all about you...I didn't,I thought about you all the fucking time Justin...I couldn't help it..you were just always in the back of my mind...I would do something...'would Justin do this?' I never stopped caring about you.''
Justin's face softened and he instantly looked to the ground.
''I don't care if you believe me or not Justin,but the truth is..this whole break up has been hard for both of us..and I know we both still have feelings for each other..and what I have just said made it clear to me.'' I took a deep breath. ''I care about you so fucking much...and if you decide to do something stupid,I'll do anything I can to stop it.''
Justin's eyes left a trail of tears down his cheeks,he smiled shakily at me before he pulled me into his arms.
''The visiting hours are over now Justin...I'm sorry.'' I whispered.
He nodded his head. ''It's fine..I'll see her tomorrow,I want to tell her how sorry I am for running out on her.''
I nodded my head. ''That will have to wait 3 days...I have a surprise planned for you.'' I smirked,pulling away to see his expression.
He frowned,a slight smile on his face. ''What are you up to?''
''I guess you'll just have to find out.'' I giggled before I ran out of the bathroom,Justin running shortly behind me trying to grab me by my waist.
15 comments for next chapter!
where are they going?
and guys i may not be able to update untill the weeked as on friday im going bangerz tour and this week I will have to revise for my exam thursday..so yeah:0
I hope this chapter makes it up for you:*
Justin seems depressed? do you agree?