A week. It's been exactly a week since I broke up with Alex. This was the worst week of my life. Every time I would just sit on the couch doing nothing, images of Alex and I, happy and laughing, flash through my head, and then I burst into tears. I hate being like this. I hate that every time a happy memory of Alex and I cross my mind, I cry. I hate being weak. I don't like the fact that the reason I'm weak is because of a cheater. I don't like it, not one fucking bit.
Right now, I am sprawled out on my bed, trying to stop the pain and prevent the memories from even coming back to me. I don't want to remember them; I don't want to remember how happy he made me feel, how I fell for him, and how much pain I felt- and still feel- when my heart shattered into a million pieces when I saw him with that blonde bitch.
My mom isn't home right now, since she had to go meet with Paul and the other One Direction crew to discuss something about their tour. If I can't comfort myself and stop crying for just two hours without my mom, how will I be with her gone for a year?!
On cue, I hear the front door slam shut; and before I exit out of my room, I walk over to my full-length mirror and straighten myself up. I don't want my mum to see me haggard and depressed; she's already seen me like that one too many times this week.
I walk out of my bedroom and trudge downstairs. I smile weakly at my mum, and then sit beside her on the couch. She looks at me for a brief moment and then speaks.
"Are you okay, sweetie?"
I nod my head and I flash her a forced smile. I observe her face for a few moments. She looked stressed out and tired. Paul must be really working her out; although I can't really be mad at him, this is One Direction's biggest tour yet.
"Are you okay?" I ask my mum.
She sighs and puts her head in her hands. "Honestly Ally, no." She begins. "We leave in two weeks and three of my workers can't come along. I'm short three people and I can't find anybody else willing to come. And plus, that bastard Alex cheats on you!"
I bite my lower lip as I rub circles on her back. I hate the fact that I had just added to her long list of problems. She already has enough on her mind and I just had to add to them. Now I really hate my life. Why do I constantly do this? Ruin people's live.
She looks up at me and takes my hands into hers; she takes a deep breath before looking straight into my blue orbs.
"Ally, sweetie, I know that this is really, really bold of me to do, but I really need you. Ally please, please, please come with us on tour."
The desperation in her voice breaks my heart. She must be really struggling and desperate to ask me for help.
"But, It's only my first year in culinary school. Won't I get kicked out?" I reason.
I started culinary school as soon as I got out of high school. I mean, my mom being a chef and all, I just thought it was right to enroll; but don't get me wrong, I wasn't forced to go to culinary school, I was free to be anything I wanted to be, I myself willingly chose to be a cook. I had a passion for cooking.
"I will have to take you out, yes, but Ally it's alright. After the tour is done, I'll just enroll you back in with the money I'll receive. And trust me sweetie, this will cost us big money." She continues to convince.
I was still quite skeptical about it, so she goes on.
"Ally, don't think of this as a job. Think of it as an escape. An escape to forget, to forget about him." She says venom lacing the last word she said.
I take my bottom lip between my teeth and think.
"Please, Ally. You're my last resort."
She's right. I am her last resort; and going on tour with her would be a great chance for me to just forget. To just wash the pain and memories away. To completely erase all thoughts of Alex from my head, from my heart, from my life. I need this.
Taking a deep breath, I reply. "Okay. I'll go."
I laid on my back, resting from my constant tossing and turning; I open my eyes only to be greeted by the darkness, currently engulfing my tiny room. Sleep still hasn't dawned on me, unfortunately, as I keep on thinking about my decision to go along with my mom. I want to think that I have made a great decision, but I can't help but feel doubtful. I am doubtful because I feel like a coward; I'm running away from the pain, instead of facing it and fighting it away for my happiness.
But I later convince myself that this is a good thing, what I'm about to do. I remind myself that this is exactly what I need. This is what I need to completely erase Alex from my life. I just really hope that I don't later regret this decision, and lead to something horrible.
I wake up from the sun rays seeping through my thin, green curtains; curling my toes and rubbing my eyes from sleep, I get out of bed and head to the bathroom. I brush my teeth quickly and head downstairs.
I head into the kitchen only to find a guest sitting at the breakfast table. The sleep immediately vanishes as I remember that I am only in my pajamas, which consists of an old shirt and fluffy bottoms. I smile sheepishly and the guest returns it. My mum's guest was Paul, One Direction's tour manager.
"Hello Ally!" He says in his deep voice.
"Hi Paul!" I say, whilst walking over to the fridge and grabbing the milk carton out. "What are you doing here?" I ask him.
My mom turns around in her chair. "We were just discussing the tour, and I also said that you'd be tagging along."
"It's great that you'll be coming along, Ally. We really need all the help we can get." Paul exclaims.
I smile while nodding. The two of them continue to talk while I fix myself up some breakfast. I tune the both of them out, and eat my omelette in silence. Every once in a while, Paul and my mum would ask me for my opinion on something and then return to their own working world.
After their early meeting has ended, my mum walks back into the kitchen and walks over to me.
"Are you sure you want to come?" She asks me, probably sensing my doubtfulness.
"Yes, I'm sure. I want to do this for you and myself. And plus, this will be fun!" I gush. "We'll get to go to places we've always wanted!"
She chuckles. "Yes, yes we will."