I can't believe what just happened.
Kyle kissed me.
And i actually kinda liked it.
I'm with Collin, he's the one i like, the one i chose.
He's the one who is gentle and kind.
Kyle is aggressive.
But he had such a hard life, thats why...
Is it possible that he can change?
Why am i even debating this?
I'm so confused.
What do i do?
I can't like Kyle.
Collin is the right guy.
But i never really gave Kyle a chance...
Stop that Emily.
You have to stop thinking about Kyle.
What did he mean when he said 'for a guy like me'?
Was he really that jealous of Collin?
I'm nothing special.
There are tons of girls up here.
God i hate this!
I kissed her.
I couldn't help it.
Shes just so...
If only she was mine.
She never even gave me a chance, she just chose Collin.
I can make a picnic and say clever things to.
It just wasn't fair.
Yeah i can be violent, but thats how i express my feelings.
And i really didn't like Collin.
He didn't deserve Emily.
I have never been lucky.
My life on earth sucked.
The girls i liked either had boyfriends or just weren't interested and when i did get a girl she cheated on me.
My life was messed up like that.
My mom was alway drinking her problems away and became really abusive.
She would say the same thing eveyday, 'its your fault he left, we were fine without you and i had to go and get pregnant, the biggest mistake of my life.'
It hurt but it was true, my dad didn't want children, so when he found out about me he left.
How was i going to get Emily to like me, violence didn't seem to work.
Maybe i could dig into Collins past and find something.
I have a feeling he isn't as perfect as she thinks.
Should i tell Collin about the kiss?
Or forget about it?
Did it really mean anything?
Why is this bothering me so much?
What if i don't tell him and he finds out?
He'll think i was hiding it from him for a reason.
Do i have a reason?
Do i like like Kyle?
I'm just so damn confused.