I once loved one man, he took my only heart
and right there in front of me, he ripped it apart
I know he didn't mean to, and the fault is mine to blame
but the guilt and pain remains all the same
but now I understand, why he ran away
now I understand why he didn't stay
he was afraid to love, and afraid to take a chance
he was afraid to leave and make another stance
he was afraid to make his mark on societies wall
he was afraid to take a leap, as he could fall
he would have rather stayed inside that rotting jail
he rather stay with society, even though I paid bail
he made his mind and stayed with society
even though he had his chance to be free
so now as I sit outside societies dream
I linger like a nightmare, making people scream
they say its just a phase, that I'll get over it soon
they say its a disease, like the werewolf and the moon
but deep down in my heart, I know it isn't so
because I have to be strong, so I can show
people like the one man who threw me in a bin
that no matter how hard they try, we will never give in!
cause what's the point of hurting us? so we can feel bad?
so we can understand what its like to be sad?
well we already know just how it feels
cause it is so hard for us to reveal
that we like the same sex, and who really gives a damn?
goes in the end we all still go all cold and clam
so who cares if I'm gay! I am proud to be
because in my world I take it as a victory
that I can make a choice and stand from the rest
be an individual and try my best
and kids at school may laugh at me and call nasty names
but you know what? it doesn't matter it's all a game!
cause later on in life they will suddenly see
that the reason I was gay, was because it was me
so go on a call out names and raise your heads so high
but remember who I am, just before you die
remember that I was strong and managed to pull through
and remember that if I can do it, then so can you
so today I stand and say that I am proud to be gay
and if I had a choice... I'd have it no other way!


2. chapter two

Ellis's P.O.V

I wave goodbye to my mom from my bus stop which is a little walk from my house. I see a small figure wave back at me, which was my mom, and I smile to myself. I turn around and see a girl that may be a year younger than me tapping her foot to the beat of her headphones. She looks up at me and gives me the dirtiest glare. I cross my arms and look the other way? Trying not to pay any attention to her. She made me feel a little uncomfortable. I sniff the air and begin to smell smoke. I turn around and see she has taken out a cigarette and started smoking right next to me! The nerve. I mean, smoke at your own risk. You'll just get far in your lungs and cut your life shorter.

"Hey, are you going to stand there uncomfortably or say something?" The girl spoke, pushing her black bangs out of her face with one hand, (which just ended up falling in her face again) and flicked ashes off her cigarette with the other. I cough and mutter out a 'good morning' just as the bus pulls up to our stop.

"You don't talk much, do you?" The girl asks. She throws her cigarette to the ground and steps on it so all that's left is a pile of ash. "I'm Elisa by the way. We'll probably be seeing a lot of each other so I hope you aren't as much of a shy prick tomorrow." She says, flipping her hair back and climbing onto the bus. I board the bus behind her a little shocked at her behavior. Will all of high school be like this? I think to myself as I sit in a seat in the front by myself.


No one sat with me the whole ride to school and that kind of made me feel bad about myself, but no worries I have a sliver of hope I will make friends today.

Well, I couldn't have been more wrong.

I went through the school day being pushed in the hallways and shoved into various tiny spaces. It was just like the movies where the nerd ends up getting shoved into a small locker, but I don't have anyone to save me.

When I finally get out of the locker with the help of a friendly janitor, I make my way to the lunch room. I pull out my card and slide my tray though the lunch line. A tall buff boy in front of me turns around and snickers at my food choices. A salad, an apple, and a carton of milk.

"You eat a nutritious lunch, scrawny boy." The well built boy in front of me says. His friends on either side of him snicker as I look down at my food.

"So what if I eat healthy? It's better then eating that garbage you are." I say motioning to his burger, fries, brownie, and soda. The smile on his face fades away as I say that.

"You shouldn't have said that, scrawny boy." He says getting heated. I take a step back as he shoves my chest. I stumble back against a tall blonde girl, who by the looks of it seems to be a cheerleader with her pig tails and short skirt and crop top. She gives me a dirty look along with her friends and shoves me back against the boy. The boys face goes red with fury.

"Did you touch my girlfriend?" He asks, his voice rising.

"What-? I that's your girlfriend? With all do respect, sir, you did push me into her." I say, my lip quivering. "And-" before I could finish my sentence he cuts me off again.

"I said, did you touch my girlfriend?!" His voice rises some more, if that's even possible, his voice was so loud it could be a dog horn. I shake my head as quickly as possible. Now the whole lunch room seems to be staring. "Drop the act!" He yells and pushes me to the ground. My tray flys off the rack and my good scatters all over the floor. I can barely make out what happens next, but I see another tall buff boy, not as tall as the other, but tall enough to beat him up. I watch the boy push and punch the other one. My savior. I am forever in his debt. The boy makes his way over to me and kneels by my side. I feel week.

"Are you alright?" He asks, his voice calm and gentle in my ear. All I can do is nod before my world goes blank.

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