I once loved one man, he took my only heart and right there in front of me, he ripped it apart I know he didn't mean to, and the fault is mine to blame but the guilt and pain remains all the same but now I understand, why he ran away now I understand why he didn't stay he was afraid to love, and afraid to take a chance he was afraid to leave and make another stance he was afraid to make his mark on societies wall he was afraid to take a leap, as he could fall he would have rather stayed inside that rotting jail he rather stay with society, even though I paid bail he made his mind and stayed with society even though he had his chance to be free so now as I sit outside societies dream I linger like a nightmare, making people scream they say its just a phase, that I'll get over it soon they say its a disease, like the werewolf and the moon but deep down in my heart, I know it isn't so because I have to be strong, so I can show people like the one man who threw me in a bin that no matter how hard they try, we will never give in! cause what's the point of hurting us? so we can feel bad? so we can understand what its like to be sad? well we already know just how it feels cause it is so hard for us to reveal that we like the same sex, and who really gives a damn? goes in the end we all still go all cold and clam so who cares if I'm gay! I am proud to be because in my world I take it as a victory that I can make a choice and stand from the rest be an individual and try my best and kids at school may laugh at me and call nasty names but you know what? it doesn't matter it's all a game! cause later on in life they will suddenly see that the reason I was gay, was because it was me so go on a call out names and raise your heads so high but remember who I am, just before you die remember that I was strong and managed to pull through and remember that if I can do it, then so can you so today I stand and say that I am proud to be gay and if I had a choice... I'd have it no other way!


1. Chapter One

Ellis's P.O.V

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock on a Monday morning at six a.m. It's that time of year again. That time of year where I will have to suffer through homework, bullies, no friends, and barely any money. That time of year I shouldn't be myself, I should be anyone but myself. I go to West Side High school, home of the Dolphins. We may not sound too vicious, but we happen to have the best football team at school. On that football team happens to be James, James is possibly the biggest brute anyone would ever meet. He is known as the 'frat boy' or 'mr. Popularity.' I happen to be the exact opposite. The Nerd, the Geek, the Freak. I don't fit in anywhere. As I slap my alarm clock again, I hear my mother call my name from downstairs. The smell of toast being made in the toaster makes it's way into my room and into my nose.

"Ellis! First day of high school!" My mother Sylvia yells up from the ground level. Technically it was not my first day of high school. I happen to be a sophomore and somehow have survived the first year.

"Coming mother!" I yell back down to her. I swing my legs off my bed and search for a perfect first day of school outfit. Apparently, looks also mattered for boys. As I looked through my closet, I spotted a sweater vest my grandmother Rosemary got me a few years back. I decided that it would be an appropriate top and threw it on over another shirt. I also pulled on some kakhis as pants.

"Ellis!" My mom calls again as I pull my pants on.

"Coming!" I say as I run down the staircase. "Good morning, mother!" I smile and kiss her cheek, taking the plate of toast she has made me.

"Good morning, Ellis, sleep well?" She asks me as I slide into a chair at the kitchen table. I reply while I stuff the toast in my mouth.

"I swept berry well." I say with a mouth full of toast. She chuckles softly at my response.

"Darling, please chew before you talk to people at lunch today."

"Will do." I say. It's not like I'll be sitting with anyone at lunch anyway.

James's P.O.V

I wake up to the sound of my fathers harsh voice. No alarm clock, no sweet mothers voice to sooth me out of bed. Just my fathers. My coach. While I'm on the field, I'm not even allowed to call him dad. He doesn't say good job or anything if I do something right. He'll just nod, grunt, or say I can do better. I guess he's just trying to push me to do my best, but I can't live up to his high expectations. I had all C's and one B- on at least every report card last year.

"Son! It's time to get up you lazy ass!" My father yells into my ear. I turn over and pull the pillow over my head. He slaps my back and I let out a wince of pain. "I said, it's time to get up!" He yells again. I sigh and push the blankets off myself and watch him leave the room. I walk over to my dresser to get ready and as I pull my shirt off I notice a red mark where he slapped me across my back. Sighing, I dig through my drawer and finally pull out my football jersey. I pull it over my head and then throw on some jeans for the first day of school. I look in the mirror and quiff my hair up.

"You look great today, James." I mumble to myself, smiling. "What a great day it will be." I shove my hands in my pockets and breathe out. Only, maybe it won't be a great day, maybe it will be a terrible day. It already did start off terrible.

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