I feel the weight of Harry's lower body pressing against mine. I feel the heat radiating from Harry's chest. My mind is blurred, aside from the image of the tanned boy, reeling me in with his forest green eyes and seductive body movements. His thumb traces my collar bone, immediately igniting goosebumps on my skin. He smiles and lets out a faint chuckle, looking down and running his index finger over the small bumps across my chest and up over my collar bone. I reach my right hand up and poke his newly formed dimples, biting my bottom lip without control.
His eyes travel down to my lip between my teeth and does the same, mimicking me. I feel my heart pounding uncontrollably under my skin and my ears buzzing with somewhat of excitement. Harry looks down to my chest and licks his top lip then his bottom. He comes closer, closing the small space between us. His body is being supported by his elbows on either side of my body. His minty breath dances in the air and hugs my lips tight. I inhale and try not to look stupid. I've never gotten this close to anyone before, not even Niall. NIALL! Fuck!
I push Harry off of me and role to the other end of the bed. I sit up and cross my legs, brushing my fingers threw my now knotted hair. "What's wrong?" Harry's voice is panicked as I climb off the mattress. I walk over to the large window and grab my clothes, looking out at the river as I take the clothing into my arms. I turn back to see Harry resting against the wooden headboard, reaching both hands out to me. I shake my head and walk out of the room to the bathroom. I enter the room and place my clothing onto the toilet seat. I push the door to close with my back facing the door, not looking. I'm interrupted by a small bang. I turn around to see the tall boy holding the door open with his foot.
I try to kick his foot back out of the door, but it is no use. I pry the door open and walk straight past him down the stairs, leaving everything but my empty mind behind. I rush back to the light blue room to retrieve my phone. I grab the device from the pillow and go back to the stairs, and down towards the kitchen. I sit on a stool and call Niall. One ring. Second ring. Third ring. Fourth. Fifth. Sixth. And no answer. I call again, only to get his voice mail. "Niall! I made a huge mistake! Please forgive me. I want to be home. I want to be in your arms and I want to see your blue eyes. I miss you and the second you get this could you-"
"What do you want Brittany?" Niall's voice interrupts me in a harsh tone. "Do you want to be at a complete stranger's house and leave your honest and trustworthy boyfriend in the cold?" He says in a monotone manner.
"Niall plea-" I try to plead.
"No Brit. Where the hell are you anyway?"
"Ni I love you, plea-"
"Where are you." He cuts me off again.
I sigh and feel the tears starting to form. "I'm at Harry's." I slur, forcing myself to keep the cries in. I hear Niall's inhaling, doing same as I.
"Of course you are. Of course." He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, trying to keep himself calm.
"Look. I talked to your mom. You better call her. She's worried sick!" He says with a bit more life.
"Please forgive me Niall. Please, just think about it okay?" I say with tears shedding down my face.
"I'll see you tomorrow. It's almost 4 in the morning. I need some time to think before school and so do you. Good bye Brit." He hung up the phone before I got the chance to say that I loved him.
I feel empty and somehow heart broken. I rest my phone on the counter and fold my arms in my lap. I stare into blankness, hearing my heart bump hard, keeping me alive. I taste my salty tears, not bothering to wipe them, or the stains they must have formed on my cheeks and jaw. I feel numb and cold. And smell nothing but regret. I hear Harry's heavy foot steps joining me in the kitchen, but I don't have the energy to look at him. I look down to my hands which have become cold. I rub them together, in hope they will warm. I feel Harry's soft yet rough hands touch mine and hold mine in his. He rubs both index fingers on my skin, trying to comfort me.
He pulls my index finger up to his lips and places a soft kiss on the tip. I pull away, taking my phone in my hand, going back to my room. I drag my feet across the floor, closing the door behind me as I enter the room. I turn the lights off right away, not caring to change. I pad to the bed and sit right on top of all comforters and blankets, hugging my knees to my chest looking up to the stars, thinking about the past two days. I do not change positions for the rest of the night. I stare out the same window until the stars fade away and so does darkness.
Three hours of nothing. Just looking out to the world we know not much about. I thought of nothing. Felt nothing and heard nothing. I was captivated in complete and utter silence. I am awoken from nothing by the sound of a knock at the door to my right. I know who it is. Harry of course. But he is the one who is messing with my normality. The door opens without ask and not only one figure walks through the door, but two. I jump up from my knee hug to see Niall and Harry standing by the door. Niall walks cautiously towards me, and Harry stays by the door, resting his back against the doorframe, his left leg crossed over his right. I run to Niall and wrap my arms around his neck. He returns the hugs, rubbing my back soothingly. I nestle my neck in his chest and inhale his smell. It's no where near as strong as Harry's.
Niall turns his face to Harry and he leaves us alone, closing the door on the way out. I hear his steps fading with distance. Niall doesn't talk or move until the footsteps have completely vanished.
He leads me to the edge of the bed, giving it a disgusted look before taking a seat. We stay in silence for what seemed to be quite a while. "Did you- um- do anything? You know- um with- him?" He says, his voice cracking. I walk up to him and sit right by his side.
"No Niall! Nothing at all. I stopped anything before anything could have happened." I try to say reassuringly.
"Nothing? At all?" He look up to meet my eyes.
I force a smile. "Nothing. I tried to find you when I was finished my tea, like I told you I would. But- well- you weren't there any more." I bite my lip, the view of Harry's body on mine flooding my mind. Niall searches my eyes for any sign of lying. I force the thoughts from mind, trying to replace them with memories of Niall and I, but none come in play.
"Well I love you." He says. I nod and rest my head in the crook of his neck.
"Love ya too." I peck his cheek and I see his face redden. I smile and he returns the favor. He grabs my hand and leads me out of the room and down towards to his car, which is parked on a gravel parking lot, next to Harry's car. I climb in the passenger seat and turn the radio on at once when the engine ignites. The car ride to wherever Niall is taking me is silent and stuffy. I look out the window, remembering the way back. Niall is fixed on the road, not making a sound the whole drive.
"May I ask where we are going?" I break the silence.
"Your house. Your mom wants to see you." He says, his eyes still staring at the road. I nod and tap my fingers in rhythm against the side of the door, waiting to be freed from the tight space. I feel nauseous and have a headache forming. And the tight car space isn't helping the situation.
We get to the driveway of my red bricked house a few minutes later. I rush out of the door when Niall halts and parks. I run to the burgundy door and turn the golden colored knob. I push the door open and run to the first floor bathroom, leaving the door open. I push the wooden white door close behind me and lock it, falling to my knees and letting it come up and into the toilet water. It hurts my throat but I let it come up. I hear a bang on the door and small footsteps. Mum and Bret. "Open up Brit! Please!" My moms high pitched voice yells on the other side of the barrier between us. "Bret go up stairs please." I hear my mom whisper. Another round comes up my throbbing throat, making it hard to hear what else she is saying. Nothing is left, but it continues. Only now, watered down blood.
I reach my hand up with the small amount of energy left to flush my insides down the pipes. I rest my head and back against the door and close my eyes. My head is pounding and my throat itching. My legs are frail and my arms the same. I lay on the grey tiled floor, waiting for something to happen. I black out before it does.
- - - - - -
I hear voices. Voices I can't identify. I can't open my eyes or move but I hear blurry sounds. I try to focus on the noises, starting to listen to the conversation around me. I can hint out who the voices belong to, but one. I hear my mother's, Niall's and Harry's. I hear another low toned voice who speaks about some thing I know nothing about. I pick up some words, but leave out others. "She is under" I hear the anonymous voice say. "Wrong doctor?" Niall's voice says. I guess the other is a doctor. But why?
I try to move but fail. I still have no ability but to faintly hear. "Go to the new wing." I hear my mother say. "How did." Harry's. "Fell." Niall's. "Faint." Mother's. "Not long." I couldn't make that voice out. I try again to move, a bit more success. I twitch my pinky fingers. "Moved!" Harry's. I try harder and manage to flutter my eyes open. Bright white lights welcome my eyes, making me adjust to the brightness. "Shes up!" I hear Harry say, and feel a push on my forehead. I force myself to get up, partially winning. I manage to push my side up with one elbow. Harry is standing next to the bed, next to a doctor. My mother sits in a black retro rolling chair and Niall, is now out of sight. I get up onto both elbows and sit up.
I look over to my mother who has rolled her way to me. I see red wet stains on her cheeks as she smiles to me. I reach over and cover her hands with mine. I force a painful smile as she places a kiss on my hand. Harry is smiling out of the small window behind him and the doctor is scribbling on a clipboard.
I look over to the wide open door as my bleach blond boyfriend enters with a navy blue tray. He puts it on the side table, opening a small chocolate milk carton. He rips the straw open with his teeth then places it in the milk. He then unwraps a muffin from some kind of foil. He tosses a huge speckled cookie to Harry then sits on the bed by my side, looking into my eyes. "I'm so glad you're okay." He says. I smile, not knowing what else to do.
"What happened?" I manage to say. Harry crosses the room, taking small bites from his large round cookie. There are crumbs down his black T-Shirt and on his black skinny jeans. He sits on the other side of me, making Niall give him a nasty glare, which makes both Harry and I laugh. I start to cough and Harry pats my back. Niall gives him another death glare which makes even my mother laugh.
Niall crosses his arms and roles his eyes. "Sassy pants." Harry says, in the middle of eating another bite of his cookie, crumbs falling onto my chest. Harry reaches over to brush them off, but Niall pushes his hand away, and does it him self. I can't stop but laugh at their stupidity. Niall moves closer and Harry does the same. They seem to be having some weird western staring contest, and I'm the barrier. I am squished and try to tell them to get off, but only a whimper escapes my mouth. Both boys jump off in sync and allow me some room. My mother rolls her chair to the bed side table and grabs the muffin, taking a bite out of it, then ripping a small piece off and placing it in my mouth. I manage to chew and swallow the food, gesturing towards the muffin for more.
My mother feeds me as the boys keep constant eye-staring contact. I ignore them both and focus on digestion. My mother places the straw in my mouth and I suck on it, drinking the cool milk. It soothes my throat quickly. I manage to eat all the muffin, with some help from my mother, along with two small kid chocolate milk cartons. The lights grow dim and I start to lose my energy again. I close my eyes and imagine a world of happiness and no pain. I hear footsteps leaving the hospital room and the door shutting. I open my eyes once more just to make sure I'm alive, then let myself sleep.