I look down in embarrassment. Why did I say that?
"What about her?" A raspy voice close to my ear says slowly.
"Nothing. I mean I just-" I stop mid sentence. I have a feeling I know why I have never seen her. A horrid feeling.
Harry lets out a sigh and jumps back on top of the counter he was sitting on before Niall had left. He puts his elbows on his thighs, holding his head in his hands. He runs his long fingers through his hair, I guess one of his habits, then looks straight into my eyes, his hands clasped together, resting on his knees.
"I'm sorry." It comes out naturally. He tries to keep it in, but it comes without stopping. His eyes water and two tear drops race down his now red cheeks.
I slide off the stool and jump up to sit next to him. I have no idea what to do. Or to do with him. Him crying over a loss. Or what seems to be a loss.
His eyes are closed but tears escape. I close the empty air between our sides and put my right hand on his left. He doesn't flinch or move away. I close my eyes and listen to his silent cries. The image of the depressing grey sheeted hospital bed flashes into my mind. All I see is the bed. That bed. No one in it. Just the unmade bed and crinkled pillow.
I hear the tears flow down Harry's face somehow. I feel warm but numb. And I taste the salty familiar tears that have greeted me all my life. But I do not feel them on my face. I do not let them come.
I open my eyes and the image dissolves, leaving nothing but the curly haired boy by my side and an empty stool ahead. I feel his head fall upon my shoulder and I smile slightly.
Have you ever felt so close to someone you had only just met? Well, this is it. I feel so attached to the tall, strong muscled boy resting on me in need of support.
"Sydney. Her name was Sydney and she was the most outstanding girl alive. She was smart and all." He smiles.
He brings his head up off my shoulder and runs his fingers through his hair once again. "She was in a car crash." There is a long pause of silence before he speaks again.
"She never made it to the Hospital."
I get up and stand between his now parted knees. I put both my hands onto his cheeks and wipe the tears away. His green eyes meet mine. He leans into me and I wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls me closer to him and I hug him tighter. I feel his cold hands against my lower back, using his finger tips to draw invisible circular tattoos on my skin.
Moments pass and we still hold each other in each others arms. I hear a mumble but can't make out what it was. I let him go and turn around to grab the pink tea mug to hydrate my now dry throat. I feel his legs wrap around mine, caging me from leaving him. I reach over the island and grab the mug. I turn back towards Harry. He stares at the pink colored cup as I being it to my lips.
I feel the now cold liquid drain down my throat, soothing the dry feeling that was lurking my body.
I feel every muscle in the process as his legs force mine to move closer. I stumble slightly, tea escaping its home, falling onto the cool wooden floor. I hand Harry the mug and jump back up onto the raised platform.
I shimmy my body away from his so I'm almost on the oven top. I look towards my feet but I know he is staring. His sympathetic tears have disappeared and a mysterious Harry has awoken.
His expression is unreadable. He has a straight poker face, but I know he isn't just bored. "Hey." I look up towards his voice. Still unreadable harry looks down to my hands which holds Sydney's pink gift.
He takes the mug from my hands and tips it over the sink on his other side. He places the cup upside down. He sighs and turns to me. "I'll boil some more."
I nod and jump down with him. He passes me and grabs the kettle then goes back to the sink and fills it up. I pick the white mug and place it in the sink next to the pink.
We wait side by side, resting our elbows against the heightened surface, for the click. He tells me his parents are in England for the week and will be back next Tuesday, and how he has a black lab which stays outside.
"The H-2-O is ready!" Harry pivots on his heel and grabs two new mugs. Both white with London in italic black ink, written in the center. He pours the water in them both and throws a tea bag in either of ours. I haven't seen a tea pot in his house, or remember seeing one. I open the drawer of cutlery which I have found since the first time here. I stir the steaming hot tea then throw the tea bag in the automatic aluminum garbage bin.
"Can you check the time?" Harry puts his phone in front of me then opens the fridge and grabs the milk carton and a black opaque container. I press the home button at the bottom of its screen seeing Harry and a vibrant red colored haired girl in front of a small cafe. Harry's arm around her shoulder and a smile smacked on both faces. The sun seems to be radiating off the windows of the building. It looks like a photographer took the picture.
All the photos I take are horrible. I only have my phone to take pictures with. Nothing like those huge canons. Over both of their heads is the time written in white.
"It's ten past-" A message pops on the screen, cutting me off. It isn't one of Harry's contacts. It shows the number I know belongs to Niall. I swipe the text icon and type in the password Harry had told me not long ago. "What's wrong?" Harry comes to my side and leans in behind me looking at his phone. "Oh." He turns back to pouring milk in our London mugs.
*Sorry to ask, but do I know you* I must have forgotten to inform it was me when I texted him last off Harry's phone. I quickly reply *Sorry It's Brit. I'm using Harry's phone. Why did you leave? I was searching for you!* I gently place the phone down.
"Sorry it was just Niall. Which one is mine?" I look towards the two cups in between Harry and I. He grabs the phone and presses the top button down then again to turn it off. "Which ever one you want." He side smiles and pushes them both to me. I pick the left one and push the right back. "Its almost ten thirty." He runs his fingers through his hair and takes a sip of his tea.
"Are you hungry?" He opens the black container. Inside is sweet corn.
"Actually, a bit" I reply.
"Well we could go out if you like? Or I could cook something. You choose."
"Let's stay here. Not much would be open at this hour."
"Okay well what would you like?" He starts to eat from the container. I take a sip from my tea. It's Orange Pekoe.
"Well, I'm fine with anything really" I reply. It's true though. Besides sea food. "Besides anything fishy." I scrunch my nose and he starts to giggle.
"Oh so you're that type of girl." Harry leans back against the fridge and looks right at me. "What do you mean That type?" I walk right up to him, almost touching and look up at him. His chin is slightly pointed up. I can't see his eyes properly. I repeat his words. "That type?" My words come softer as if I am a curious child.
Harry lowers his chin so our eyes are parallel. "That type." Harry's voice is low and raspy again. A smile forms and puts his head down. His lips are less than inches away but our noses are touching. His eyes tease mine. My hand reaches up and runs through his curls.
His eyes roll back and close. A moan escapes his parted red lips. "Oh Brit."