I leave the damp room and pad down the white, bright hallways. I want to get out of this mess. I hate this. I hate everything. I don't care if Niall is behind me or not. I wish he hadn't come. He didn't deserve to be there. In that stupid fucking room. He doesn't deserve me either. My eyes are dry from all the crying. I bet I look like I am the one dead. My eyes are most likely red and I know I must have black bags beneath my eyes.
I finally reach the elevator up and jog to get to the pharmacy where Niall had gotten me my meds. Shit. I forgot. Whatever. I can no longer feel the pain from my sickness anyway. I walk through the pharmacy's door and feel the cool wind trying to break my walls. I step further into the open and head home, leaving it all behind. Niall will have to get his car and drive, but I am in no mood to be enclosed. I shouldn't go home. Well, I don't want to. I won't. I turn down sunset Blvd and continue. I slow my pace as I get to the end of the line of house after house. I must have been walking for an hour because I already passed the old farm. I am now in the forest I never once explored as a child.
It's the beginning of fall here in Canada. I was born in Ireland but my parents quickly moved here. I have no clue why. I haven't been back since we left when I was 13 months young. I don't remember anything, well of course I didn't. I was one. Toronto is a well known city. I don't live right down town, but it's close enough I guess. My house is on the verge of the country and city. It's quite a weird thing really, being able to drive or bus to a city and walk to the open farming fields. I have never been this far, walking. We drive past here to go to the cottage.
It's getting dark. I hear only the crunching of leaves beneath my weight and the sound of crickets. The sun is setting and it's a beautiful view from this forest. It will rain tomorrow. My mother always told me, if the sunset is orange, the next day will rain. I love the rain. I love thunder and lightening. I love the harsh weather. The wind has slowed down. I don't want to go back. I have no idea what time it is nor do I know my way back. I think I've been walking North, but I have no idea really. I will keep walking until I reach the end of this place. I wish I would have known about this place. Before now I mean. I love it. I like being able to be in complete silence for once. I like to think with out any distractions in my way.
It's pitch black now. I can't see anything. There is no lights to guide my way. I slow my pace and put my hands out so I can feel my way. Also, so I don't hit my head against a tree. Sometimes, I wished I could run away. From the drama back home. The cancer, Bret's heart failure and my stress. I have school tomorrow. I hopefully will find my phone in the morning. I feel a rough, dry texture against the tips of my fingers. I push my hands against it. It's a tree. Or hopefully it is. It's a sturdy, hard, round thing. And now, it will be my head rest for the rest of the night. I sit down and feel my way so my back is against the tree object. I close my eyes and I fall asleep instantly.
- - - -
I wake up on the dirt floor of the forest. My dress is torn down the side and what seems to be mud, is covering the yellow color of the fabric. I slept well considering I wasn't on a comfy mattress or couch. I look around. I don't have my phone. Great. Just great. Splendid! I am lost in the middle of no where with no connection what so ever to my species and I have school today. I have to find my way back. I have no idea why I thought wandering through a forest with no path or light was a good thing to do. At the time, it was a good idea. But not now that I can't get back to civilization. It must be 7 ish. That's normally when the sun rises.
I get up and try to brush my hair out with my fingers. It's all knotted and disgusting. My new converse are covered in dirt and dust. There are scratched on the toes of them. Whatever. I don't care anymore. I start walking down the way I hopefully came from. I have to climb over broken trees that had fallen and I cross a small stream. Once in a while, I see bunnies or squirrels. I saw one fox and a mother and baby deer as well. The sight of the animals calm me down. They are so peaceful.
I can't help myself but sing. I like to sing just I don't. Ever. I have a fear of singing in front of others. I start off my concert for the wild with N'Sync's Bye Bye Bye. I change accents throughout the song. It's fun singing in an Indian accent then to a Scottish to a Russian. My family always told me it's my talent. Not singing of course, but accents. I love mimicking my mother's accent. She is from Dublin, Ireland. Her accent has faded but it's still noticeable.
I start to dance along to my voice carelessly. It feels so good being like this! I reach a river and decide to take a bath. I strip my dirty dress off my body. I keep my Victoria secret matching undies and bra on. Just in case.
The water is warm to my surprise. Its warm but refreshing. I plunge my body under so I am completely wet. I can't reach the bottom but I can see it. The water is clear as hell. I think the floor is covered with rocks. There are no fish underneath me or near me that I know of. I float on my back looking up to the sky. It is a beautiful day out. The sky is baby blue and the sun is beaming down onto my bare skin. There are clouds. Not many but some. They are fluffy and look like marshmallows. Damn I want one. I haven't eaten since yesterday morning when I was in my bed and when my father was alive... I turn on to my stomach and dive under. I open my eyes and swim in the liquid. Shit. My vision is blurry but I'm sure as hell I see someone. I keep holding my breath as I stare, trying to see if there really is someone.
The figure is coming closer. I make out that it is indeed a human. I swim as fast as I can back to the surface and cover my "areas" if you know what I mean. I blink once and we lock eyes. It's the boy with captivating green eyes.