2 months later:
I sat in a café with Hannah eating cinnamon rolls and drinking lattes. My hair was up in a pony tail and I had on Harry's black hoodie and a pair of jeans. I just wasn't in the mood to dress up like Hannah is. I was planning on telling Hannah about Hazzy and then my sister Nia comes home tomorrow, so I had to head home after this.
I sighed and picked at my cinnamon roll trying to figure out how I was going to tell Hannah about this. "So how are you and Harry?" she asked eating hers. I shrugged "Good, I guess." Hannah scoffed "Well, the shrugging isn't convincing at all." I breathed in deeply and looked up at her. "I kinda fell for his sibling." Hannah started laughing and I narrowed my eyes. This was so not funny at all. "What?" I asked. "Is he hot?" I pressed my lips together. "She." Hannah literally choked on her cinnamon roll. "SHE?!" "Shhhhhh!" I quieted her. "Shut up, Hannah! But yes, it's a she. Her name is Hazzy and...I love her." Hannah put her roll down and looked at me. "For how long?" "2 months I've been feeling this way." I said. "So, you're lesbian?" and I sat back in my chair. "I-I don't know...I mean..." I felt the tears well in my eyes. All I could think of how I was going to hell for this.
"I think about her in ways I shouldn't." I whispered to her. "Like when I see her, I have urges." "To fuck her?" Hannah joked. She then laughed. "Cute." I sighed and covered my face.
I began crying. "We did things," I uncovered my face and grabbed a napkin. I wiped my eyes. "things that we shouldn't of done. She pressured me into it." "Into what?" I looked down "Sex with her." I sniffled.
"Oh my god Renée." Hannah whispered. "What if your mom finds out? She will literally banish you." I sighed and sniffled. "Yeah, well she'll hate that I'm in love with her then, too." Hannah's mouth dropped. "So you're in love and not just lusting over her?" I nodded. "I'm in love." I twiddled my thumbs. This really sucked so bad. "I'm in love and I don't know what to do." Hannah looked down and stared at her coffee for a minute. "Tell her." she said looking back up. "Tell her what? I'm dating her brother." "Break up with him first. Then tell Hazzy you're all lesbian for her." I made a face and pouted my lips at her. "That's not funny." Hannah smiled "Sorry."
But she was right. I had to tell Hazzy now.
I was getting ready for a night on the town with my girl. But she said she needed to talk, and I knew exactly what it was about. I think it was about us moving so fast. Because we were.
I heard a knock at the door as I was pulling up my pants. "Harry, it's Renée." she said through the door. "Come in babe. I'm just getting ready." she walked in and I smiled as I pulled them up over my waist. "Hey babe." she smiled and I kissed her cheek.
I looked at what she was wearing. "You're wearing that?" I asked and she looked down. "Yeah, I'm not in the party mood." I frowned. "I told Skylar we were coming babe. He knows and expects us-" "Harry, we really need to talk." I sighed and looked at her. "Then talk to me on the way there." I grabbed her hand. "No, I mean we really need to. its serious and you're going to hate me." I grunted and turned her on front of me to lead the way. "Renée, I could never hate you." I said and she sighed and turned to face me.
"Harry, we need to breakup." I stopped dead in my tracks. I've never been the one those words have been said to, I've just said them to girls. I was numb and still.
"What?" "I can't see you anymore." she said quietly. I felt tears well up in my eyes. "Is-is there someone else?" I asked and she looked down. I clenched my jaw and grew angry. "I shouldn't of took your virginity. I knew you'd like it so much you'd go sleep around with some other guy." she began crying and I honestly didn't even care at this point.
"There isn't another guy, Harry!" she yelled. "Then what is it, Renée?!" I yelled back at her. She covered her face and grew even more upset and angrier. Her breathing got heavier. "Who is it?!" she uncovered her face to tears and anger. "Your sister!" she bit back.
My sister?! Now I even more pissed. "You want Hazzy?!" "I love Hazzy. She loves me, too, Harry!" I turned and put my hands behind my head. I started crying and tears instantly started rolling down my cheeks. How could my girlfriend and my sister hook up?! How did that happen?! I sniffled and looked down and then it hit me. The night she said she was going to Hannah's house. I turned back around and looked at her.
"You never went to Hannah's, did you?" I asked and she looked up. "What?" she sobbed. "The night you told me you were going to Hannah's, you never went. You went to Hazzy's instead!" she looked back down in embarrassment. "That's right." I said and looked at her. "What'd you guys do?" she looked up and narrowed her eyes. "Don't be stupid, Harry." She had a lot of nerve to say that to me.
"Me? Stupid?!" I charged up to her and she moved back. "You have the nerve! Do you know being a lesbian or gay in the 60's was a disease? People still believe that today." She continued to cry. "This is the way I am, Harry." I get that. I crossed my arms and stared at her. "You had control you could of used, but you didn't..." "I was pressured, but now I know who I am!"
I grunted in disgust and turned away. She was my girlfriend and my sister went behind my back and converted her into a lesbian. It almost made me sick that she did this to me.
"Get out." I said. I didn't even look at her. I just wanted her out and gone. "Go to your girlfriend." "I'm sorry Harry." she said and I stayed silent.
"Just go Renée." More tears flooded my eyes instantly.
I arrived home from Harry's. The house was cleaned up for my sisters arrival tomorrow. My mom was so excited, I was too, but I'm keeping a huge secret that is eating me alive. No one but Hannah and Harry knows.
"Baby, is that you?" my mom asked and I spoke. "Yeah." I walked in the living room. My mom was on her phone on the white couch scrolling through Facebook. "You won't believe what my friend Jenny just posted on her status." I sat down next to her and remained quiet. My eyes were killing me from crying all the way home.
"Her daughter is a lesbian." My eyes widened and my stomach turned. But I still didn't say anything. "How does a good girl like that go so wrong?" I bit my lip and turned my head towards her. I was so nervous. "Maybe she can't help it. There's really nothing wrong with it." "Nothing wrong with it?!" My mom almost shouted at me, but she was surprised I said it.
"Renée Nicole! Where is your head?" I sighed and rolled my eyes. "A ton of girls at school like other girls and they are not bad people. They're really nice." She shook her head. This is why I can't tell her. She then looked closely at me. "What happened?! You've been crying." I looked away and down at the floor. "Yeah, Harry and I broke up." "Why?" she asked and I shrugged.
I wasn't going to tell her I broke up with him either. She'll just ask questions.
"I don't know why." "You two weren't having sex, were you?" I sighed. "No." "You'd tell me though? I could put you on the pill Renée." I didn't see any use in telling her now, because once she finds out what I really am, she'll be wishing I was out having just sex with boys.
"Yes, I would tell you mom." I said. She nodded and calmed down a bit. "Good. Now go get some rest. Your sister comes home first thing in the morning."
I walked into my bedroom and felt better. Just like everyone should, I felt peaceful in my room. I had my own privacy.
I took a shower and changed into my fuzzy pants and tank top. I just wanted to get today over with.
I woke up next to Kylie. I started seeing her a few days ago when I was out. I was trying to get my mind off of Renée, because I think I really fucked it up this time. Plus she made me really confused anyway.
I felt lips on my neck and I turned to see her. "Morning." I smiled. "You hungry beautiful?" I nodded with a grin. She got up and I looked at her. She had a cute body. She had no clothes on and neither did I.
I looked around the room and saw pictures of different things. Weird art.
I got up, my bare feet hitting the wood floor, I pulled up my panties and threw on my Rolling Stones shirt.
I heard singing coming from the kitchen as I walked down the hall. I smiled as I saw Kylie making up breakfast. I walked up and wrapped my arms around her tightly. She was so beautiful and so precious.
"Was last night good for you?" I whispered in her ear and she giggled. She turned and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. My hands held her waist. Last night was the first time we made love together and it was something really special.
"It was very good, Hazzy." I could feel her smile. "I've never felt these things I've felt the past couple days." I smiled and began swaying, so did she.
I looked at her and kissed her once more on her lips softly.
I got ready for my sisters arrival today. I picked up my phone and called Hazzy. I left several voice messages last night. I wanted to invite her over. I tried again and this time, she answered. "Hello?" I felt a lump in my throat when I heard her voice.
"Uh, Hazzy. It's Renée." "Yeah?" I pressed my lips together and sighed. "I'm just calling to ask you if you wanna come to my sisters homecoming?..." I shut my eyes and hoped she say yes. "You call me after 2 months and want me to come see you?" "Not to come see me." things were quiet right now and no one said a word. "I just kinda miss you, Hazzy." I heard her sigh and pans in the background. My heart kinda stopped. "I someone there?" "Yeah." she said and I swallowed hard. I didn't want to know who she's met in the past 2 months.
"Renée, I haven't seen you in the past 2 months. I moved on since. You were with my brother." she whispered. I felt my tears hit my eyes and hearing those words come out of Hazzy's mouth was a shock to hear. I thought she was crazy about me. "I thought what we did scared you. You cried." I squeezed my eyes shut. I thought of telling her now, I had to tell her now.
"I cried because I just had new feelings for you." I heard Hazzy begin crying and it only made me cry more. "Please say something Hazzy..." I whimpred.
"I'm sorry Renée." I heard her say before the line when dead.