1. Only Human. Skye Luna Everdeen
Ok so out of ten id give it a 8.5, there were a lot of times when you forgot to put spaces. (Ex. The lastrays of sunlight reflect on the surfaceof the small pond, the murky water glistening anddistorting) It's a really good opening, other then that. Also you switch tenses a few times, I've found it best to write in past tense, because would you say "I'm walking, walking, walking until I get to the other side of the parking lot and into my car." Or "I walked to the other side of parking lot to get I to my car." I personally think the second sounds better. But I've noticed actual published authors do both. Another thing was every once in awhile you put the wrong word (Ex. "hard to read the 44th floor." I believe you meant "reached"?). A few times I noticed you repeated yourself (Ex. "I had to get out of there. If I didn't I was for sure going to die. I had to get out.") The final thing is does Aria have upper body strength? Most 12 year olds wouldn't be able to pull themselves up a foot, especially of they didn't use those muscles regularly. Somewhere I would put like "thank you gymnastics." Or "thank you swimming." Both sports allow you to use those muscles regularly and a lot of 12 year old girls are in them. Over all it sounds like it will be a really interesting book, please don't stop! Of course, these are only suggestions, so please at least take them into consideration. You are a really good writer, but like any author, singer, dancer, there is always that one thing that needs work. But practice makes perfect.