I took her face in both my hands and kissed her forcefully and passionately .
then I pulled away “i loved you and always will do” she didn’t say anything ,still shocked I got up and faced the other side so I don’t show her my tears , i‘m never showing her that she’s my weakness “but we can’t make it, we can’t be together any longer” I said trying to hide the sorrow in my voice and I walked away “wait..” she made me stop and turn , she got closer pulled my hand and put the promise ring in it .. “I don’t deserve it..” she stopped wiped away her tears “give it to the girl , that may be the one..” she stopped again to wipe her tears that were rolling down like a waterfall “I’ll always love you, take care “ she glanced at me one last time . my heart was crashing down as I looked at the ring in my head. No one will deserve it better than her.. “bye jade” I said and walked away to my car , I stayed in my car until I got sure she got in hers safely.. I left the place and sped to my house. I got in the room where me and jade used to sleep she left few clothes in her closet . I opened it and took one of her shirts and hugged it tight smelling her beautiful natural smell that never left her clothes. If medias could get in the house and record me right now. My career will be over, ‘cause right now I’m crying like a girl..
I thought about the look in her eyes earlier.. full of pain and sadness .. regret and love.. it looked like if she’s saying goodbye to the whole world , like if she’s going to get an end for her life... wait she will never do this right ? duuh of course she won’t . I went on twitter and checked out her profile ‘we just broke up..’ I fought the urge to throw the phone on the wall right now… I logged out of twitter held her shirt tighter and closed my eyes and fell asleep after hours of thinking and crying..
I woke up next morning really lazy to get out of the bed .. I turned the tv on , and it was on the best of - Ellen show . I posed the remote next to me and started watching . the top 20 of Ellen show , a little 4 years old boy singing Bruno mars.. I watched till the top 15 and it was selena singing come & get it, what a nice song ! Ellen show is really a great show .. I ignored the TV and I started swimming in my thoughts again .. but then I heard a very familiar voice , I looked at the TV and it was me and jade . you know when she was singing ‘love will remember’ .. I listened to her performance and I felt the sensations in her voice. I had shivers running on my skin , and I felt a hot tear rolling down my cheek.. i couldn’t take it any longer.. I took the remote and changed the channel.. I probably have to get up and look for some food. Mom didn’t make breakfast since jade left the house , I’m not the only one getting hurt here. Mom loved jade as her daughter and was really shocked with what she did.. she got over it , and I’m sure she’s not mad at jade or anything. But as I’ve already told you, jade didn’t comeback. She came only once to take her stuff , and she left without saying a single word..
I walked to the kitchen and just got an apple , I’m hungry but I don’t feel like eating .
I laid on the couch and put a random movies’ channel. Titanic was on. Jade’s favourite movie… I can’t understand why everything reminds me of her… I let the movie on , as I love it too, and I just watched.
I opened my eyes slowly, I probably fell asleep while watching titanic. I got up fixed my hair and my clothes then got out. It was already 3pm so I’m going to have food from McDonals, and then I’ll have a walk around the park. As it’s a sunny day. Of course I had to wear shades and a hat so no one will recognise me, specially because I’m not using the car. I don’t wanna get an attack from fans for pictures, I’m really not in the mood .
I got a double cheese burger and a juice I ate them quickly and got out. And walked back to my house to get my car , the park was pretty far. I put a random CD on and drove slowly enjoying the relaxing music.
on my way, the road was blocked , there were a cops’ car and an ambulance . it’s probably a crash , there’s a car accident on that road almost every two days.. I had to take another road . it will be longer .. I turned the volume on max, I adore that song called ‘when I was your man’ by Bruno mars. I think it’s the same CD jade was listening to, the other day. The park appeared , I just have to cross the street and I’ll be there. I parked my car , took my phone and went to sit on a bench . but my phone went off, someone was calling me… I looked at ID it was scooter. I’m not picking up. I want to be alone for a while, he’ll probably say that I’ve missed an interview or a rehearsing.. he will give up at some point… why don’t you just give up scooter.. still ringing.. damn leave me alone… he kept calling and calling , should I just pick it up? I mean what if it’s really important..
“what do you want scooter?” “jade! It’s jade!” “what happened to her” “she- , justin , I don’t know how to tell you..” “just tell me god damn it” I stood up really worried
“she is in a very critical condition, she crashed her car on the road. and it will be pretty hard to save her..” “she what-?? what dou you mean” "she's in danger justin !" "where's she" “in the nelson hospital “ “I’m coming”
I turned on the engine and started driving ..
Please jade stay strong , I don’t want to lose you !
‘but you’ve already done!’
I didn’t want her to die
‘you didn’t but if you kept her in your arms she would be safe and she wouldn’t crash her car and die’
shut up stupid mind , don’t say she died ! she didn’t , and she won’t I’m going to keep her safe
‘you said it before and never did, every time she gets hurt because of you’
damn shut up..