"So what you're trying to say is you like her?" Liam said, trying to understand how I was feeling. I was pacing around the living room. I couldn't think of anyone else but Clara. It was frustrating and enjoyable at the same time.
"I mean, I don't know. I can't think of anyone but her, but it's like I don't even exist to her. She still hasn't given me her number." I replied and then I stopped so I could look at Liam.
"It sounds like she wants a real relationship. You know, without all the stupid texting and doing everything face to face." He said. It made sense.
"Right." I said mostly to myself in realisation. "When are we leaving? Do we get to pick them up?" I ask way too quickly.
"Harry, calm down." Liam laughs. "They're going to meet us there."
"Okay. When are we leaving?" I ask.
"Relax buddy. You're such a catch, she'll like you." He tried reassuring me by putting a hand on my shoulder.
"I'm fine!" I try convincing myself.
"Of course." He laughed. "Let's get ready."
I was scrolling through Tumblr while Isabelle got ready. I loved Tumblr. It was like another safe zone for me. I kept scrolling and reblogged a few photos of landscapes, places I wish I were at instead of here. I kept scrolling until I saw a picture of Harry holding some girl's hand. I looked at the photo and realised where it was. It was at a local bar close to here. I don't know why, but I slightly felt shattered inside. I didn't want to know when it was or why it happened. I wanted to scroll past it but I found myself reading the caption.
Harry and Australian model caught leaving a bar hand in hand. 13/04/13
Yesterday's date. My heart kind of hurt. How stupid could I have been. I closed my laptop and walked into my room. I tried keeping the thought out of my head but couldn't. Did I really think I had a chance with him? I mean, he only dates models and is only ever seen with models. I took off all my clothes and pulled on my plain black bikini and starred at my scar on the right of my ribcage. It went up from the middle of my ribcage to just under my breast. I sighed. I hated it. A constant reminder of what I've been through. A constant remind of her. The mother I never wanted. I pulled over a white, large low neck male tank top I bought so I could wear it over my bikini when I went swimming or to the beach. It went mid thigh and still showed the bikini top which I liked because I liked the top. I put my hair up in a messy bun and put water proof mascara on. Just as I though I had forgotten about the picture it popped back into my head.
"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." Isabelle said as she walked into my room. I didn't cry often. Only once a year, no exaggeration. And it would be only ever in front of Isabelle, and right now I felt weak. Not because Harry was caught with someone else. It's because whenever I thought I'd get somewhere with a guy they either start dating someone else or completely cut me off. My heart's pace began to pick up. "Clara? What's going on?" Isabelle walked closer to me and put and arm around my shoulder. Tears threatened to spill. "What happened? Talk to me."
"Why is it that I can never find a guy?" I ask, mostly rhetorical. "Am I doing something wrong?"
"Oh, Clara." She sighed. "What happened? Did Harry do something?" I shook my head.
"Not really. It's not him, It's just, it's me. Really." I replied. I wiped the two tear drops that slid down. "I'm okay, really. I just got emotional." I stood up and so did she.
"It's okay. We'll do something, just you and me tomorrow. Okay? Date day!" She said happily, which made me happy. I nodded and she checked her phone. "Okay, Liam just pulled up let's go."