This time it's Skylar's POV!
My palms sweat and my heart beats a little faster as I walk down the stairs. I'm nervous. For what? Am I scared of meeting people? Was I always like this? Did I have a lot of friends? Did I have a boyfriend? Did I even have any friends? Was I a bitch? Was I total sweetheart?
There are so many questions and I wish I knew the answers to. I slam my fist against the countertop. I wish I could remember what happened. Who I was. What lead up to me trying to kill myself. I drop my head in my hands.
"Ugh!" I groan. I wish I would just remember!
"Are you okay Boo?"A voice asks. The nick name sounds awfully familiar. I run my hands down my face. "Terrible actually." I say, my voice shakes. Am I always this nervous? We'll you'd know if you remembered!
"I'm Cameron." He says, sitting on the counter.
"I'm Cameron. Look ignore all the shit that Taylor guy said. He's a dick with the brain the size of a freaking sesame seed."
The words bounce around to an unplaced memory. "Cameron." I say quietly. I open my eyes to meet his. His brown eyes. They tell his whole story. He's been hurt, then he opened up to someone just to be hurt again. Was I that person?
"Cameron what were we?" I ask. He seems even sadder at the question. 'Were' and 'was' have been words I've been using for awhile now. Everything in the past because that's all I can think about. The past. The past me.
"We were best friends. Like almost brother and sister. We were super close. But then things happened and we weren't anymore." He looks down only to return looking into my eyes, he looks sad, apologetic even. Was he the reason I tried to...
I shake the thought from my head as my eyes fall onto my wrist which was covered with the sleeves of the hoodie. A hand gently grabbed my wrist, it moved down to my hand. I held it tight. "I'm sorry Cameron." I whisper.
I look up to find tears in his eyes. Look what I've done. He was probably such a happy boy. Had everything going for him. His bottom lip quivers. "Cam-" "I-I…I gotta…I need to…" he ran out of the kitchen, I heard the front door shut.
I groan. It's like I'm cursed or something. I turn to the fridge opening. But with the sight of food, I feel sick to my stomach and shut the door. I wasn't Anorexic was I? No. I'm a good weight. According to the doctors. I guess Cameron has got me really upset now. I sigh and grab a water bottle and walk out.
I hit something hard as I stumble back. Shit was that a wall? I look up to find another boy. Great, and this one probably knows me. "Hey Baby." He smiles, kissing my cheek. "What's your name?" I ask. His smile fades. Shit. Shit. SHIT! I just can't stop.
"I'm Matt. Your boyfriend." I HAVE A BOYFRIEND?! I think back. He doesn't even sound familiar. Period. The longer I'm silent the more he looks like he is gonna cry too. "Oh. My. Gosh! MATT!" I squeal and wrap my arms around his neck pulling him into a hug. He lets out a sigh. I let one out mentally. It's just a white lie. Little white lies can't hurt anyone.
"I thought you didn't remember me." He smiles. Smiling really suits him. "How could I forget my own boyfriend?!" I laugh. "Can I have a kiss?" He asks. My heart begins to beat faster and my palms are cold and clammy. I smile. "Slow down there. I know I'm beautiful and all but give me some time. I still got a ton to figure out." He sighs and nods. I walk up the stairs.
My mouth is dry and I'm shaking. Why? I feel anxious. I gulp down some water and walk into Nash's bedroom. He's watching TV.
"Hey, what did you eat?" He asks, looking at me. My heart flutters at his beauty. I wonder if he knows that he is so handsome? Stop it Skylar! You have a boyfriend!
"I couldn't eat." I mumble and sit on the bed beside him. I cuddle into his side. He tenses up, but accepts it and tries to close any gaps between us. My legs on his lap. My face buried in his neck. "I couldn't do it Nash." I whisper. "Do what? Eat? It's okay. I me-" I cut him off.
"No. Not that. I couldn't bring myself to make another person cry. So after Cameron left in tears I lied to Matt saying I remember him and I don't remember a single thing about him. I feel terrible now and I don't know what to do. Nash I'm not ready to date. I'm not ready. I can't face anyone anymore I just can't. I can't hurt another person. I…I" I can't talk anymore at how hard I'm crying. Nash wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his chest.
I'm so scared. What if I mess up? Say the wrong thing? I could hurt everyone. "Look it's probably never gonna be the same but I'll be here for you no matter what." He whispers. I sob harder. I can't help it as I feel hopeless, fisting Nash's shirt.
I open my eyes. My head pounds and I feel dizzy as I sit up. Thoughts of earlier events today flood my mind and I want to cry again. I pull the covers over my head. Wait where's Nash? I pull the coves off and climb out of bed. My hair is everywhere. I pull the hood over my head as I open the door. It's a whole different atmosphere outside the door. There's screaming. I recognize one distinct voice. Nash.
I make my way to the stairs and hide but I can still see into the living room. "WHY WOULD SHE LIE?!" Matt screams. "SHE DIDN'T WANT TO HURT ANOTHER PERSON AFTER WHAT HAPPENED WITH CAMERON! FACE IT MATT! SHE'LL PROBABLY NEVER LOOK AT YOU THE SAME WAY AGAIN!" Nash replies.
I can see Matt is fuming. Everything moved in a blink of an eye. Matt's fist connected with Nash's jaw as he fell to the ground. All the boys well who was there jumped up to stop any other violence from happening. I don't know anyone other than Matt and Nash. I had no idea where Cameron was. I gasp quietly to myself. Nash got up but his jaw was red. He looked ready to fire back. "Go upstairs Nash! Go cool off!" One boy said pointing to the stairs. I quickly bolted back to the room. I hopped into bed, throwing the cover over my head.
I was slowly hurting everyone around me and I can't stop it.