I sat down on Cameron's couch, patiently waiting for him to begin.
"Nash told me you used to have the same dream over and over where you would walk down a winding hallway and you'd hear a boy screaming your name and you'd always wake up before you would open a door." Cameron starts.
I nod, I still have that dream and I have no idea what it means.
"Sky, you know you slit your wrists right?"
I nod again.
"What happened to me?" Tears fill my eyes and I try and blink them away as my bottom lip quivers.
"You tried to kill yourself Skylar. You slit your wrists. But you'll be okay now. You're in good hands and we won't let you hurt yourself again."
"Do you know why?" He continues.
This time I shake my head. The reason why I did it never came up in the mess of my brain.
"You, you got bullied, I'm sure you already know that a-"
"I do know that."
He gave me a look as to shut up, I nodded and mouthed a 'sorry'.
"You didn't have many friends, I was actually one of them. So was Matt. There was this boy, named Carter. Do you remember him?"
Carter? Carter. Car-ter. Ter-Car.
I say the name over and over again in my head.
"Carter?" I raise an eyebrow.
"Carter, he also liked to be called, well not really but his mom used to call him Cartah so we teased him with that name."
I shake my head.
"Carter was one of your best friends, you and I were closer though. Carter, he, he was gay. So he too, was bullied."
Cartah was gay? Well I mean, his nickname sounds pretty gay. Oh my, that sounded so ignorant, shut up right now, just listen to Cameron.
"Then you and Matt started dating, you were happier and stop caring about being bullied so you were picked on less. They turned to Carter and his life got worse and worse, and worse. He couldn't take it and one day when you and Matt ditched school you came to our house and you found Carter dead."
"Welcome home!" Matt smiles, and I laugh along with him.
I jumped as I heard something fall from upstairs as a bang echoed through the house.
He grabbed my hand, running into the kitchen. I was calm, but confused as he pulled out a kitchen knife.
"Matt! What if it's one of the boys?"
In one motion, the knife moves across my skin. I hiss, as the blood rises and flows. I slit the other one and I watch the blood trickle on the floor.
"No. Skylar. No."
"You don't understand Matt. Carter was all I had left at the school. Ya know when I had someone with me I wasn't such a target. Cam's became captain of the football team, and Nash doesn't even want to look at me. I'm alone and vulnerable."
"I promise you. When we get to the hospital and they patch you up, I'm going to transfer and protect as long as I can. I promise."
"I love you."
"Skylar. No. No. Stop that. You'll get-"
"Carter." A tear rolls down my cheek and I let it. Carter deserves my tears. He deserves to be remembered. He is worth the tears and looking weak in front of Cameron because he is worth something, not worthless like he thought he was. He was worth more than diamonds and money because he was a person, and a person is irreplaceable because everyone is unique in some way or another.
"You remember him?" Cameron asks, half smiling and he too, looks like he's about to cry.
"Cam!" I shout, he doesn't look up. "Cameron!" I shout again. No one seems to hear me shouting.
I catch his wrist and yank him back.
He looks up at me, pissed. He has a black eyes. I put my hand on his cheek, my thumb stroking it. He flinches, I immediately apologize.
"Who? What? When? Why? and How?" I ask. He looks around, cautious. "Nash. He hit me. Yesterday. When I tried to stop him from killing Taylor and hurting anyone else after Aaron." He explains.
My body tenses, my hand still on his cheek. "Why? You didn't answer why." I repeat.
He never hides anything from me. He bites his lip, taking a look around. "You."
I feel my breath hitch as I my hand now moves to hold his, but he yanks it away. I look him in his brown eyes.
They were nothing like Nash's, but they were always comforting, inviting. They seemed as if there was a wall, a large keep out sign in front of a fence with barbed wire.
I let out a shaky breath. "I gotta go." He mutters harshly, bumping with his shoulder. I close my locker, putting my now pounding head against the cold metal.
He was my only friend. The only person I had here. The person I could tell anything to. Hold and cuddle me when I cried, making sure that I was okay. I fought back the tears. They can't see me cry.
"I also remember you ditching me when I needed you the most." I mumbled, looking up at him.
"Skylar, look I was just trying not to get hurt a-"
"So you were just looking out for yourself?" I stand up, I can't believe Cameron could be so selfish.
"Yes, and NO!" He shouts after me, I stop at the door listening to what he has to say.
"I was being selfish, yes. But that's not what I called you to talk about. I texted you to give you answers, do you have any questions, I can help."
Cameron has never seemed so two-faced and fake as he does right now.
"I know all I need to know." I open the door and turn around.