I sit on Nash's empty hospital bed.
Do I really like Nash? I know for sure I have no feeling for Taylor. He's a complete dick and I never want to speak to h- my phone's ringing.
Shit, I hate it when I press the wrong button!
"What do you want Taylor?" I answer coldly.
I was not in the mood for any of his shit tonight.
"Look where are you?" He asks.
I hear a faint voice in the back yell to hurry up.
"The hospital, I'm visiting Nash." I reply looking down at my fingernails, well what used to be my nails. I have bitten them to nothing to the point where the skin is red and some are blood stained.
"I'm picking you up, meet me out-"
"No, I don't want to leave."
"Skylar p-" Taylor's cut off as another voice chips in.
"Look here you bitch-"
"DON'T CALL HER THAT OR I'LL SLIT YOUR KNEECAPS!"
I can't help but laugh. Taylor was sometimes sweet. Sometimes...
"You don't have the guts. May I remind you I'm the one that stabbed the kid."
My jaw drops, and I'm in shock. Taylor is in the same car as a killer. I know, I know, I know! I thought you said you don't like Taylor, but I have a heart and no matter how rude someone is, I can't help but care.
"Look, you don't really have a choice you either run with us, or we'll take you down with us." The guy explains.
My heart begins to race. "I don't even know you're name! I'm not running! I didn't stab the kid!"
My palms sweat and I have to tighten the grip on my iPhone.
"Do you believe this story? Suicidal, Depressed girl stabs young teenage boy at party. I believe it. Makes a pretty good headline too."
I just realize I'm shaking as tears form in my eyes and one falls, I quickly wiped it away.
"I think you're lying." He chuckles.
"I think you're a dick." I fake a laugh.
I feel like I'm going to vomit at how nervous I am.
"Look just find your way outside, don't carry anything but your phone."
Then the line goes dead and all I can hear is the beat of my heart.
"Skylar?" I turn to find Cameron.
My stomach churns and I can feel everything I ate today coming up. I stumble over my feet as I run to the bathroom as my insides exit through my mouth. Someone holds my hair but I'm too busy vomiting to really notice who it is.
I wipe my mouth with my sleeve and fall backwards laying on the cold tiles. My head hurts and my mouth tastes terrible. What can I do? Stay here and possibly be locked away forever? Leave with the boys and forget my whole life ever happened? My head spins as I vomit again in the toilet.
I flush it and fall back and look up to see Nash.
"Skylar what's going on?" He asks, frowning.
"Taylor, he said he wants me to run off with him or I'll be in trouble."
"What kind of trouble?" He raises an eyebrow.
"Suicidal, Depressed girl stabs young teenage boy at party, kind of trouble."
His jaw drops and Cameron walks in. "Is everything okay Skylar?"
"Dude, Taylor and Dillon want Skylar to run off with them and if she doesn't they'll frame her."
Cameron shakes his head and I jump as he punches the wall as dust falls from it, I gasp at the gaping hole now in the wall. He's fuming and his face is bright red as he balls up his fists.
I'm quick to jump up, wow am I lightheaded. I stumble back into Nash. "Careful babe." He helps me stand up straight and I drag Cameron out of the bathroom because it was beginning to smell.
"Cameron, look. I'm going to leave a-" He cuts me off.
"NO! I can't lose you! I'll never forgive myself!" He shakes his head as we both sit on the bed.
I sigh, when did my life become so hard? I drop my head in my hands as tears come into my eyes. Now's not the time, you need to assure him you'll be fine.
I look Cameron in the eyes, "Look Cameron, it's not your choice and neither is it mine. It's better for all of us if I just leave. I ha-"
"They'll hurt you! What happens when they think you're dead weight? What happens then?" He says tears streaming down his face.
"I'll be fine, okay? I gotta get moving." I stand up and turn to Nash as Cameron breaks down.
He fishes something out of his pocket, I immediately shake my head at the sight of the money.
"Sky, take it or you're not leaving this room." He half smiles.
I giggle and shove it in my jeans pocket. "I'm gonna miss you." I say truthfully.
He takes a small black friendship bracelet out of his pocket. "Skylynn made it for you." He chuckles, tying it to my wrist. He kisses it, "Make a wish."
I wish I could stay and everything will be okay.
I wish I was the same girl before the cruel world got to me.
I open my eyes as I feel a pair of lips against mine. I kiss back.
"How long have you been up?" I ask.
"Long enough to watch you." He smirk.
Nash loved me for me, my scars and all and I could never understand why.
"Don't tell Cameron that you're coming okay? I only want you here."
I fell silent again. "Yeah, okay Nash. I gotta go or I'm gonna be late for class." I reply.
I remember that day so well, I was so surprised that he only wanted me because lately no wanted me. Everyone wanted to just tear me down and find out my darkest secrets, they didn't want me but he did.
"Don't tell me to calm down! My life could fall apart in the next few hours! I'll be ruined! You don't understand, I felt like I was finally doing something right, my sister accepted me, it was like everyone at school accepted me, and now everyone is a-"
He kissed me and it wasn't like those kisses that Taylor gave me that made me cringe, it was a kiss that always left me wanting more making me feel light as a feather and forgetting all my worries.
"Help me. Please."
"Always. I promise."
You never knew it even when you weren't around you helped me Nash. You were the reason I never attempted again. You were the my anchor when I had anxiety attacks. You were my reason. You were at the top of my list Nash. Every night.
REASONS NOT TO KILL MYSELF TONIGHT
1. NASH GRIER
you were written on a tear stained page every night in scraggly rushed writing.
I pull away breathing heavily, I don't want to leave Nash, when I leave so do you.
"Don't worry about it. You got me. That's something Mahogany doesn't have." Nash whispers.
"I do have you don't I." I giggle.
I don't have you anymore do I Nash?