The Props Master

Slack is just as his name describes him: a slacker. But when he's handed community service, he decides to go up to a local community theatre and try his hand out with the back stage work. Little does he know, he is handed the task of being their props master for their latest show. From there wild hijinks explode which include a feud with the director, love interests, and a war with an evil mafia family.

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1. The O.G Original Slacker

(Black Screen)

LANDER VO:

Thornton Wilder was quoted to have said “I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.” He obviously never worked community theatre at A Helping Hand Theatre-In-The-Round.

(Cut to exterior shots of the small theatre)

LANDER:

Yep. There she is. What was once a one room school house is now a community theatre. It may look small on the outside but on the inside…it’s still pretty small. She can fit up to a hundred people if you squeeze them in tightly enough. Fifty more if you count the basement but that’s where the cast goes. Now why am I showcasing this drab little theatre when there are bigger, more interesting palaces out there in the world? Because something amazing happened here in this little Ohian cottage. A story fellows like me don’t see every day. And it all started with the want of a props master…

 

INT – OVERLY PASTURE DINER

(The opening credits start rolling over shots of waitresses bringing out food to customers sitting inside the Overly Pasture Diner. The opening music starts to fade as we listen in on a conversation going on between two customers…)

TREVOR:

Community service, Slack?

SLACK:

Yep. Fucking A’.

TREVOR:

Those incredulous bastards.

SLACK:

Who woulda thought, man? You know, I had a feeling I was going to get into some trouble but-

TREVOR:

But community service trouble? Fuck, they might as well send you to juvenile hall.

SLACK:

Hey, as long as I get to reside inside my own home I’m happy. A couple hours of community service will do me some good is what they told me.

TREVOR:

Fuck that noise, Slack! Community service degrades the human being of their pride. It strips them of their integrity. They might as well have sentenced you to have run up and down the highway in a fucking diaper.

SLACK:

They gave me a pamphlet filled with services I can lend my time too.

TREVOR:

You know what? Give it to me. I’m gonna go use the John and I’ll need some teepee.

SLACK:

Nah, I think I’ll need this.

TREVOR:

What, you’re actually going to go through with this shit?

SLACK:

Yeah, man! I don’t want the judge throwing me to the dogs for ditching. I’ve heard stories about what happens to people who abuse the judge.

TREVOR:

You wanan know a thing about judges? Judges are fucking pussies wearing long flowing robes to hide their small pricks because they aren’t men enough to go out into the real world and get a real job.

SLACK:

My judge was a woman.

TREVOR:

Then I bet she was a lesbian.

SLACK:

What’s that got to do with anything, Trevor?

TREVOR:

I’m just saying, Slack. Big bad female judge passing out misdemeanors on helpless victims like yourself? Sounds like she has a problem with the justice system herself. Ergo, lesbian.

SLACK:

Everything you just spoke was fluent French, Trev.

TREVOR:

All I’m saying is that these legal whores are trying to put the middle class down. We’re just kids, Slack.

SLACK:

I’m twenty-three.

TREVOR:

That’s young, baby. Spread your wings and fly like the fucking ostrich.

SLACK:

Thanks, Trev. Put that one in a fortune cookie.

(A waitress walks over)

WANDA:

How were your meals, gentlemen?

SLACK:

Yeah, they were fine. Listen Wanda…I have a question for you.

WANDA:

Is it about our dessert options Slack, or are you about to go off on some long rant about life-

SLACK:

I need to know if I should stick to my court ordering of community service. Trevor here says-

TREVOR:

Fuck em’.

SLACK:

Fuck them. But I say I should go along with the supposed lesbian judge’s ruling. What do you think?

WANDA:

I think you should take your check and go on service your sentence. I like you Slack but you’re really slipping right now. Maybe a little community service will open the world up to you. Show you new things, you know?

TREVOR:

So you think he should be opened up to a world of heroin abusers and prostitutes? That’s a terrible idea, Wanda.

WANDA:

Here’s your check. Have a good night.

(WANDA exits)

TREVOR:

You see, Slack? Right there! That’s a hard working American woman right there and if that lesbian judge hadn’t made it illegal, I would have taken her over this table and fucked her brains out. That’s how much I love hard workers. Judges don’t understand.

SLACK:

But Trev, if I go along with my community service…would I not become a better hard working American?

TREVOR:

Well technically you would but it would be under the order of an evil judge.

SLACK:

This is just a lose/lose situation in your eyes, isn’t it?

TREVOR:

Look, I love you Slack. You’re like a brother to me. I just don’t want you to lose who you are. The world’s a scary place and community service might smear away your essence.

SLACK:

I’m not going to chance, Trev. I’m Slack, man! I’ll always be the true original slacker you once knew.

TREVOR:

That’s what I love hearing. Come on, let’s blow this popsicle stand and go grab a couple of brewskies.

SLACK:

I like the sounds of that.

(The two get up from their table and walk up to the front desk. As TREVOR pays for the meal, SLACK looks down and notices a poster on the side of the front desk. It’s for the local community theatre. SLACK appears to have an idea)

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