i might have acted like i didn´t care but oh dear did i want to be in your arms


1. Cara & Louis *flashback*

„Cara, stop it and come over here!” Mom shouted from below, making me and Louis giggle slightly. He held my hand and looked through the little gap between the doors of my closet. It was dark in here and mum´s coats pressed me and Louis together. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me even tighter at himself.

We are both ten years old. One day, when Louis and I are old enough, he´ll take care of me and we leave this place. As he always promised, we´ll live in and old house, far away from here. He´ll protect us from our parents and live together with me in peace.

“Your mummy won´t find us!” he giggled quietly and showed his white teeth, which made me suppressing a laugh. We wrapped an expensive coat around us and cuddled up on the ground of the dark wooden closet. Louis rested his warm cheeks on my shoulder and smiled.

He was my best friend. The last person, I had.

“CARA! WE´LL LEAVE WITHOUT YOU AND LOUIS!” Mum shouted again, but this time she sounded angry. I shrugged and slid backwards, trying to loose Louis grip around me. He shrugged too and slid over to me, holding me close to his chest.

He grabbed my shivering hands and gently stroked over my bruises.

“It´s gonna be okay.” he whispered at my cheeks and kissed them slightly.

“One day, when I´m an adult like my daddy, I´ll leave with you Cara. Your mummy won´t ever hurt you again and I´ll take care of you.” he said quietly and rested his cheek on my hair.

I closed my eyes and tried to catch my heartbeat, but I failed. Someone came the stairs up and rushed in our room. Louis slid quietly a little bit further to the doors and looked through the gap.

Fear sparkled in his eyes and he built fists, as suddenly the doors to our hiding place were pulled open.

It was Siva, our butler, who stood in front of us, smiling evil.

“Ma´am I´ve found them.” he shouted downstairs and grabbed me firmly, pulling me out of the closet.  I gasped as he pushed me forwards, grinning.

“STOP IT!” Louis shouted with his weak voice and crawled out of the closet, but Siva just pushed him back in there and grabbed my wrists firmly, as mum came in.

“She hid in the closet Ma´am” Siva told her and stood straight.

Mum sighed and let me got off of Sivas tight grip.

“Get dressed Cara. We´ll leave soon to Ireland. Today you´ll see our new servants and staff!” Mum tried to brighten me up, but I just avoided her gaze and stared over to the closet, where Louis tried to get out.  

“Can Louis join us on our trip? His dad is traveling for work anyways and his mummy...” I cut myself off and built fists, as I realized, how far I had been telling.

“She´s dead, I know.” Louis said and walked over to me. He grabbed my hand and looked at the ground.

Mum looked at us worried and smiled sadly.

“But don´t mess anything up, okay?” she said finally giving up in a soft voice and smiled. Louis face brightened up immediately and he smiled.

“I promise Ma´am!” he said cheering to mum and hugged me.

We laughed and jumped, holding each other tight.

“We´ll travel to Ireland Cara!” he laughed happily and kissed my cheek, making me giggle loudly.

Mum laughed amused and kissed my forehead, after we had calm down again. She looked young and beautiful, when daddy wasn´t here. Free from stress and hurry. Her brown hair fell in waves over her shoulder and she had put on lightly lipstick. Her blue eyes sparkled with love and it hurted, because after our trip to Ireland, she´d be the old, stressed mum, who had never time. And Siva would have to look after me again.

“Louis, pack your things, I´ll call your daddy! We´ll leave in two hours!”


*at the harbor*

“Wow, that ship is huge!” Louis and I were amazed at the same time, as we reached the crowded harbor. Mum laughed amused and took Louis and me at her hands, not letting go off of us.

“Watch out and never leave Me.” she demanded smiling as Siva joined us with our luggage. I grinned over to Louis, who still had his eyes on the amazing ship. People crossed our way over to the ship and voices were getting louder everywhere. It smelled like ocean and fish here, which made me smiling. I´ve never had been on a ship before.

“You think the new servants are nice?” Siva asked mum politely, and I gritted my teeth like Louis. We both hated Siva. He worked most of the time as our butler, and he liked neither Louis nor me. He was the only one beside dad and Louis, who knew from my bruises. It was a secret, he always said, when he caught dad at hurting me. Mum shouldn´t know it. She thought the bruises were from playing outside with Louis.

“Yes, I think so. We´ll open a new door of opportunities for them.” mum said serious and held me hand tighter.



In the evening, we were in our cabins, slightly swinging with the waves, which splashed gently against the ship. It wouldn´t be a long trip, but I was tired yet and wanted to catch some sleep. Louis was in the bathroom and brushed his teeth, getting ready for bedtime.

“Cara?” Mum asked lovely and came in our little cabin. She wore a long royal blue dress and made her hair in beautiful curls.

“You look beautiful mummy.” I whispered tired as she laid me down under the blankets in the small bed, still smiling at me.

“Just as you do my little princess.” she whispered and kissed my forehead. She gently stroked my hair aside, as Louis came out of the bathroom.

“They have little soaps, made into ships!” he said and showed mummy and me a little ship made of soap.

Mum laughed and hugged him too.

“Catch some sleep! Don´t spend all the night talking with each other! Tomorrow we´ll head off to our mansion in Ireland. We´ll spend two weeks there and take some servants with us.” Mum said and gently put the blanket over me and Louis, who crawled beside me in the bed.

“Are the some families with kids?” Louis asked yawning and cuddled up with me. I closed my eyes and hid my face at his chest, yawning one last time.

“I guess so. I´m not sure, but I think there´s one family with a son. He´s in your age.” Mum said, but I already drifted into a deep sleep. 



What do you think? :) Shall I keep writing or deleting this?

Lynn xoxo

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