Hey guys! This author note is going in the beginning because it is extremely important! Okay, so I was going through the comments on the second book, She's Dangerous. I noticed one particular comment that changed the way I wrote everything. I remember asking which book was your favorite, the first or second and she said she loved them both but first because you didn't really get much Marcella in the second and it's the same in the third. I didn't want them to have a perfect relationship but I went overboard with making sure it was so flawed that there's no more love in the story. Just hate and arguing and that's never what I wanted! I've gone so overboard with it that people have set their love for Harella and are disgusted with Marcella and that's never what I wanted! I've screwed things up so bad and for the rest of this story I intend to fix it! I'm putting my everything into the rest of the trilogy and I hope it begins to meet the feelings you had for the first story! This is a long authors note but I felt terrible and I hope you read this all! Also, one last thing. Keep in mind, yes Marcel does a lot of stupid things but he's had a rough past that nobody really understands and that I will begin revealing throughout this book. He's been through hell and back and that's why he is the way he is and once you understand his background you'll understand better so bare with me! This is long, I'm going to write the chapter now! Love you :) x
"Come on baby. Let's do something special...just you and me." Marcel smiled, his hand slipping into mine as he tightened his hold on me. I smiled with a nod, not bothering to change the outfit I had on. Instead I let him take me wherever in whatever.
"Where are we going?" I questioned, sliding into the car as Marcel started the ignition.
"Now baby girl. Where's the fun in knowing?" He smirked as I laughed, playfully rolling my eyes as I brought my legs up onto the seat. The ride was long, the heat unbearable but with my head against his shoulder as he drove, there's no where I'd rather be.
Eventually a darkened blue, nearly black color had painted itself across the sky but Marcel still gave no indication of where we were headed. Multiple yawns left my lips, as I brought my fist up to my eyes in attempt to rub away the tiredness.
"Marcel..." I paused, letting out another yawn, "We've been driving for hours. Where are we going?" I asked, my eyes drooping shut.
"Just go to sleep angel. When you wake up you'll see." He spoke and as much as I wanted to protest, I let his words effect me as I finally closed my eyes, allowing the night to bring me into a peaceful sleep.
I looked down at Ella, her head rested against my arm as I drove. A smile spread on my lips and I'm pretty sure I looked like a fucking maniac, smiling down at a girl...but she wasn't just any girl. She was my girl. The girl, if you will. I've been through things that nobody should have to witness and I let the demons take control of me. Some people never find a way out but Ella was.
Each time she smiled, I'd get closer to the light.
Each time she kissed me, I could feel the darkness that surrounded me diminish.
Each time she told me she loved me, it was like I was finally living again.
I've done a lot of stupid shit and it all seems to come around to effect Ella but I never intended to hurt her. In fact, I'm surprised she still comes back even through all the shit I pile on her. She's stronger than I give her credit for. She's gone through the death of both parents, both my fault due to the life I had no control of when I was younger, and the death of her best friend. Again my fault because I didn't know how to control how I felt.
She's lived through a period of being unable to recognize the difference between living and existing but still came out with a smile on her face. Yet, just the death of my sister and I was off the rails. Her passing was no excuse for my behavior but no one knew how it really effected me. Not even mum. In life, there are very few things that bring you complete happiness. Gemma was one of those things. I looked up to her and I was closer to her than my mother. Maybe it was because, as a little kid, I felt she understood me better but either way I would do anything for her.
I still remember the day I found her, her body limp on the ground. Her skin was pale, her lavender hair fanned around her. I was only nine, I didn't know what to do. I had sat beside her in tears, holding her body in my hands. Hoping this was all one twisted dream. I still remember the way her skin was cold against mine. I wish I could have said goodbye. I wish I could've seen her smile one last time before she left. I cried for days, and days and people made fun of me consistently. I was known as the boy who lost his suicidal sister and cried like a baby about it.
I hated the thought of people mocking me...laughing at me but I stayed strong for Gemma. I was always the nerd but she told me to never change. Of course, death can only effect you in two ways.
One, it strengthens you.
Two, it destroys you and drags you into the pits of hell.
I think we all know which route I took. Instead of a golden path of recovery I craved, I took a path down the forest of evil and nobody that goes there comes out sane.
I still remember the day I had snapped. I had changed into who I am now. I can still imagine to the needle against my skin as I filled myself up with tattoos. The pain of the needle and I pierced my lip and eyebrow.
I still remember the purple of my fist after I had taken my vengeance out on everybody who ever crossed ways with me...but then there was the worst of all.
The way I used girls for my own personal pleasure. I was disgusted with them, going after me only because I wasn't nerdy Marcel anymore. Everybody I knew had taken advantage of me, had faked who they were to be around me and soon I accepted it.
I accepted this was my life and instead of moping about it, I began drinking and smoking to vanquish my sorrows in what seemed to be a well-working way.
I focused back in on reality, slamming my foot against the break before I drove straight off the bridge. The car came to a sudden stop, throwing Ella forward as she flung against the steering wheel. She woke up immediately, a small line of blood traveling down her forehead.
"Wh-," She began before I cut her off.
"Ella, oh my God! I am so sorry, baby." I hurried to apologize, my body immediately filling with guilt. I couldn't even try to do something nice without messing it up. She was completely oblivious to the blood before it touched her lips. She brought a shaky hand up, pressing it against the liquid before looking at her fingers. Her eyes widened as she looked at me alarmed.
"Sh, angel. I'm so, so sorry. Here, wipe it off." I rushed to say, pulling the bandana off my head and handing it to her. She looked at it confused before taking it in her soft, small delicate hands and smearing the liquid away.
"What happened?" She asked, obviously still loopy due to her sudden awakening.
"I'm so sorry. I-I dazed off and I guess I wasn't paying attention. We almost drove off the bridge." I admitted, scared she would be angered at me irresponsibility.
"Oh..." She spoke, still not fully aware of the situation.
"I'm sorry baby."
"Stop apologizing babe, I understand." She smiled, my heart warming. As fucking cheesy as it sounds she really did set emotions on berserk throughout my body.
"Are you su-," Before I could finish my statement, her soft lips were pressed to mine. My eyes shut, as I pulled her closer to me. I wanted her close. No, not to fuck her although I will admit I love doing that, but not this time. I just wanted her next to me, my arms wrapped around her waist as we cuddled up together. I gently glided my tongue through her lips, a quiet moan leaving her lips.
"Let's find a hotel angel. Get some sleep." I smiled, pulling away as she nodded. Before I began driving, she was moved onto my lap, the seatbelt strapped around the both of us before I continued driving.
I loved this girl more than she could ever know.
She's my everything.