The day with Harry was fun, no doubt. I found myself missing the times where we would spend the whole day together, no distractions. Yet something felt off. It had been such a long time since we've seen each other and we were different people. Things had changed, and so had we. In my moment of focusing on something rather than what I was doing, I landed my jump on the trampoline, flying up and into the water. I finally snapped back into reality, surfacing and coughing up water.
"Are you okay?" I heard Harrys voice laugh as I scrunched my nose in an attempt to squeeze out the water. I nodded, reaching for his hand as he pulled me back onto the trampoline. The bathing suit he had bought me on the way here clung to my skin, and I still felt bad he spent his money like that on me. It may be something small but I don't want to take advantage of him...I've already done it so many times. Leading him on, letting him love me when we all knew it was Marcel I wanted. Only Marcel. Our fun outing came to an end, much to our sadness, and Harry offered to drop me off at my place.
A good tim to tell him about Marcel.
Marcel and I are back together.
Nothing sounded right. I didn't know what to say but I wanted him to know before he found out another way.
"Did you have fun?" Harry smiled, paying close attention to the road before him.
"Yeah, we should do that again another time!" I smiled, Harry looking at me in shock. He obviously wasn't expecting me to want to build on the friendship we had once had but he didn't realize I missed him more then anything. I missed his laugh, his eyes. The way his cheeks turned red when he was embarrassed. I missed his warm hands around my waist when he gave me a hug and the way he could comfort me. Yet dispite everything I missed, maybe more then Marcel, there's still one thing Marcel held over Harry and would for the rest of eternity.
The way I feel when I'm with them.
I get this feeling with Harry, but nothing romantic. He's like an older brother and I can't imagine us ever being anything more. We've tried, and we probably will again but it doesn't fit and we'll always end up back as friends because that's what were intended to be.
Marcel. That simple feeling with Marcel. He ignites me everytime we're together. Each word he speaks is just another word that keeps me smiling, no matter how painful the blow. Each time he smiles, or we're happy together, it reminds me of why I fought so hard for him. Why I tries so hard for a guy who was out of my league.
"We're here!" Harry smiled, pulling into my driveway and parking the car. I looked at the house, taking a deep breath and gathering my clothes. I was thinking so heavily, I never got to tell him.
"Thanks, I had fun!" I smiled, leaning across the shift to wrap my arms around him. We held our hug before letting go as I pressed my lips delicately to his cheek in shows of appreciation. From the corner of my eye, I could see Marcel looking through the curtain and I knew when I got inside, I'd be in for more yelling. His shadow eventually disappeared as I finally looked back at Harry. Before I could say anything, his lips were pressed to mine.
My eyes widened as I slowly kissed back. I let myself get devoured by his lips but reality pushed me back. I pulled away in horror, my hand flying to my lips. Harry looked down awkwardly, unable to comprehend the events that just happened.
"I-I, uh...I've got to go." I stammered, quickly collecting my things and rushing from the car. I heard the car door slam shut, and I winced at how hard I had shut it. I quickly opened the front door, closing and locking it.
"What the fuck was that?" Marcel boomed, as I jumped in terror, squeezing my eyes shut. I walked right into this one. I did the one thing I knew could destroy him without a thought of his feelings.
I stayed silent, tears flooding my eyes.
"I came back Ella! I came back to try and make things right! I'm trying here but when you go off and do things like that, it makes me wonder why I try so hard for you!" He yelled, each word spat with lethal venom.
"Why? Why Marcel? Stop trying so hard, okay? One day I'll finally push you over the edge and I don't want to be the one to witness you fall! I'm not good for you, got it? There's a reason we could never keep a solid relationship! This..." I paused my yelling, gesturing between us, "This will never work. What we have is a physical attraction, but what else Marcel? You only tell me how you feel when you're about to lose me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life miserable." I yelled, tears rolling down the soft skin of my cheeks.
He sighed, his eyebrows heaved forward and I knew my words were much more painful to him than his could ever be to me.
"NO! Stop saying my name and trying to explain while you interrupt me! It's my turn to talk! Something you never seem to do! Each time I'm by the door, that's when you decide to spill how you feel but what happens when I forgive you like a coward? You close up again! I'm miserable Marcel, misera-,"
"Sorry." He shocked me by saying.
"W-What?" I stuttered, caught off guard by his abrupt apology.
"I said I'm sorry. For everything. Truth is Ella, you deserve a guy who can let you know he loves you everyday, not only when you're leaving. You need a guy to make you feel loved, not only physically but emotionally. I love you Ella, I do with all my heart but I'm done going around and around. I know I've said I'll change so many times but this is the last time. You keep me and I promise everything in me, I'll change. If you let me go, I won't come back and I'll let you be happy! You choose, this isn't up to me anymore!" He explained as my jaw dropped ever so slightly. I was lost for words.
"I don't want you to change Marcel. I didn't fall in love with your perfections. I fell in love with everything. Your perfections, and your flaws. Your good days and your bad. I took on the total package, not only half of it. If you stay, I want you to stay who you are, but improve. In fact we both need to improve. I know I yell at you all the time, saying how you mess everything up but I'm just as to blame! We both have struggles but we work against each other, not with! I'm tired fighting one another. How about instead we fight together?" I spoke, hoping he'd say yes.
"I don't know Ella. I've been fighting my demons for to long, and it's time to let them win." He spoke, and I could tell he was slowly slipping away from me.
"Marcel, you listen here. Even when you're in the dark there's a light waiting right outside. I'll always be here to pull you back through!" I promised, gently cupping his cheek with my hand.
"Always. I'll never leave."
Hey guys! I actually updated! :O Yeah my birthday is in four days :O Kay love youu :D x
If you read this all comment your favorite quote from any of the three books <3