The day dragged on and Ella still hadn't bothered to talk to me. I felt terrible and I knew it was a dick move of me to immediately anger and scare her like that but it was instinct. I had never wanted a child, even when I was my nerdy, over sized glasses freak of a self. Now that I'm...me, the want for not having a child has increased more then I could imagine. I heard occasional sobs emit from Ellas bedroom as I sat on the couch with a sigh. I only just got her back and already I'm the person who has hurt her. I had no filter and everything that came out of my mouth was with good intentions, but completely wrong. I should just let her calm down, surely that would do the trick. I guess after over a year of dating such a beautiful girl, I learned something about myself as well. I always tried to talk to her immediately after we fought, only intensifying the anger. I'm guessing if I want to talk to her, I should give her time. Which is what I was doing. How long has it been? I checked my watch, rolling my eyes. It's been forty-five seconds. Come on Marcel, pull yourself together.
I scoffed in disgust at the inner dialogue I was exchanging with myself, instead opting to look around this house. It was much different then the one she had in California before, and even the one in Florida. Instead of being big and luxurious it was small and cozy. I would have taken a certain liking to the house if I wouldn't have known that she spent two months with that dick Michael. The thought of them together sickened me. His lips against hers, their skin pressed together. I stood up abruptly, trying to clear the images from my mind. I could endure a lot of things but seeing the only girl that could hurt me. The only girl I love with another man was something I could never and would never have to endure. Hopefully.
There's a difference between fancying someone and loving them. Fancying somebody is giving an occasional smile. Asking to hang out and maybe a few kisses here and there. Loving somebody is willing to do anything for them, even if it means damage to yourself. It means giving them anything to be happy, whether it means giving some of your own happiness to them. Love is stronger, and more passionate but not even love describes how I feel for Ella. Of course I love her more then I've ever loved anybody but there's more to it. Every single day, I'm infatuated by her. I've stared into her golden eyes and thousand times and yet each and every time, it's like I'm falling for her all over again. It's like looking into the future and seeing her, trying to cook while I slowly tried to get her into bed.
The was a passion we shared, that only true love could share but there was also a tenderness. A delicacy. Something so fragile, that I've hit against the wall a thousand times, I'm surprised she hasn't completely shattered, but there's more. She's my weakness. Anything I'd never do, anything I'd reject I'd do for her in a heartbeat. Especially if it meant keeping her safe and protected.
Words weren't enough to explain my feelings for her, only a look into my feelings could show a person.
Maybe it's the way her eyes glimmered whenever she was happy. Or the way she would forward her eyebrows in concentration, a crease forming between her brows. Or possible how she was so innocent, but when it came down to it she had a dirty, dark side just like me. I obviously enjoyed exploring mine more but still, hidden behind a mask of rainbows was the side of her she never showed. Where all her deepest, darkest secrets were held. After over an hour of sitting and thinking to myself, Ella emerged from the bedroom, sniffling crazily. I frowned, pulling my eyebrows forward as I got up, walking towards her. Then I thought better.
"Look, Ella. I obviously hurt you...again. I'm going to go out for a night or two that way we don't have a repeat of Florida.." I trailed off, her big golden eyes peering up at me through her long lashes.
"Don't leave." She pleaded, as I frowned once more. After what I said and she still wants me to stay?
"Look, I have to. I'll come back in a few days and we can talk!" I sighed, already heading towards the door. She shook her head, hurrying behind me and grasping my arm. I didn't want to leave but I didn't know whether she has had enough time or not.
"Ella, please-," I spoke before she cut me off.
I sighed. I needed to hear her say she wanted me here before staying.
"Say the word and I won't go." I spoke quietly, turning as I tucked a loose strand of her behind her ear. She leaned into my touch.
"I love you." She spoke, her eyes shut as my frown turned into a smile.
"I love you." I responded with a kiss to her forehead.
Sorry for the short chapter but Im kinda busy! As you all probably know, I have exams next week and the rest of the school year is jam packed! So hope you enjoyed and love yaa :) x
If you read this all comment if you would read my stories on Wattpad :) x