"Babe, ever since what happened downstairs, you've seemed...off." Marcel finally spoke, breaking the deafening silence between us. I forwarded my eyebrows, nodding but never removing my eyes from my feet. Those were memories I didn't want to think of and yet my mind was giving me no choice what so ever.
"Uh, yeah. Just a bit...just thinking. I'm fine." I answered, taking a deep breath as I ran my hand through my hair for the tenth time. Marcel gave me a curious look, but he ignored my lie. It was obvious I wasn't telling the truth, I just wasn't ready to admit it. The moment I admit that I'm thinking back on everything that happened in Florida, Marcel's self hate will rise and he'll begin blaming himself. Again. I can't lose him again due to his questioning of life. His life. My life. Our love. I was determined to keep him in my grasp this time, whether it meant breaking that last piece of sanity I held or not.
"Look, Ella. Everything isn't fine. Tell me what's going on? When did you become so secretive?" Marcel spoke with a sigh as I reciprocated his action. When did I? Was it the first time I kicked him out? The two months, give or take some, where I had to learn to survive on my own. Again. Or was it two months ago, when he burned the house down with me in it? No, it was way before that but I knew he was right. The first few months of our relationship I was different. I was better and now I'm this weird, confused girl with no idea what she wants.
"I'm not secretive to hide anything. Just...to protect my sanity." I struggled to speak as he arched a single eyebrow. Once the words left my lips, I realized how they made no sense but I made no effort to change them.
"Protect your sanity?"
"Marcel...let's not get into this-," I began before his deep, raspy voice cut me off.
"Ella, let's do get into this!" Marcel said, his voice louder then before. I flinched at his sudden change of tone and he must have noticed because he bound his muscular arms around me, pulling me into him. I sighed, cuddling into his chest as his lips pressed against my forehead.
"I'm sorry angel, but if something's bothering you, I want to you. I don't want you to have to battle your demons all alone. I know what that feels like and I wouldn't wish it upon my largest enemy." Marcel informed as a unnoticeable smile pulled at my dried lips. How was this the same guy that murdered everybody I loved? Better yet, why was I still with him? Although the answer was obvious, because love does a soul crazy things.
"I was...just thinking...about Florida." I mentioned, whispering the last two words in hopes he wouldn't hear me, but by the sour look on his face it was obvious he had. His expression nearly killed me. A look of hurt, with a mix of anger. Regret and disappointment. It was in this state that somehow he also managed to look vulnerable to his past. He heaved a sigh, his head dropping, as his grip on me loosened. He looked like a small boy denied of something he loved most.
"Look, Marcel. Everything happened and I'm still here. With you!" I reassured him, pressing a finger beneath his chin and tilting his head so that our eyes met. I was about to speak but the mesmerizing green of his eyes took away each and every word I wanted to speak.
"Yeah but look how it effected you...and me." He added quietly as I sighed.
"Marcel, look at the effect you have on me! I'm still here after everything!" I spoke truthfully, gesturing my hand between us. It was true. He had done the absolute worst and I was still here, giving him my everything even when there was nothing left.
So a very small Marcella moment!! Aw! I know this chapters short and I know I said Id try to do a double update but I dont think I can. Ill try but I dont know! ANyways, hope you enjoyed and love ya :) x
If you read this all comment ' #TeamMarcella