"There's nothing like stepping on stage,
into a sold out crowd,
of almost 16,000 people.
What Inpiries me to keep doing this everyday,
is the rush I get on stage...
it's absolutely..irreplaceable.
With almost two years of sobriety,
people think I have my life all together,
but infact, I'm just winging it.
It's easy for people to assume that everythings taken care of,
and that I'm always camera ready,
but I wake up everyday, like everyone else.
I have the same worries, and fears, that everyone does.
 I'm afraid of spiders, and being vulnerable in front of the world.
I'm still facing these obstacles and problems, that everyday people have.
People thought that I've got myself together,
but I'm actually still a working progress."


6. Sleepless Night

I have been staring at the same old, plain, white ceiling for the past 4 hours...


I have no idea.

this happens mostly every night,

the deprive of sleep I mean.

It's 4 am, and my body is wide awake,

while my mind has fell into a resting state.

I feel

like absolute


but that’s the thing about the hours between 12 pm and 6 am,

they have a funny habit of making you feel like you're either on top of the world,

or under it.

I silently reached over, grabbing my phone off the dresser.

I really didn't have anything better to do.

I slowly opened the instagram app, causing pages of pictures to pop up.

each one being one of someone with their best friend or your classic selfie with a cheesy quote.

I stopped scrolling when I had noticed two people standing together,

a boy,

and a girl.

they looked happy together.

they we're in love,

i could tell.

I exited the app, and sat the phone back in it's original place.

I was jealous.

and i knew it.

they're so prosperous.

because when you're in love,

you're the lucky one.

cause most of us are

bitter over someone.

I sighed in weariness, tugging my blankets tighter to my body.

it was almost perplexing,

how I would beg for quietness inside me,

inside my head,

inside my mind.

but yet when it's finally gone,

I miss it.

not the words it said, or the thoughts it caused,

but the loneliness it kept away.

I knew I would have to get up in 2 hours,

but there's no way I'm going to be able to fall asleep.

guess this'll just be another sleepless night for me,

but hey,

what’s new.































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