Movella's Reviews! I will try to be as polite as possible, but I will tell you the truth. I may be harsh, but I want you to be able to grow as a writer.


11. Take Me As I Am.

Take Me As I Am, is about a young girl who is adopted by One Diretion. It follows her life with them, and their feelings tawords each otherer.


I must say, that this storys is not my favorite. I find the plot overused. I do not understand why One Direction would adopt a teenage girl, when they are all still teens at heart. Thoght it is fairly well writen, there are a few things that need to be worked on.

First of all, you need to start a new paragraph everytime someone new speeks. That way it is easier to keep up with who is speeking to who. I got confused several times, and had to go back and read the same huge paragraph over again to figure out who was speeking.

Another thing is Pont of view. Don't change the point of view so often. It can get confusing. Though it may say who's view you are reading from, it is still possible to get confused. It takes the mind a second or two to adjust to the point of view, so changing it 5 times in one chapter makes it hard to comprehend what is happening.

Something that I found odd about the story was that Cammy was being carried like a child by Niall when she is 14 years old. And the cuddling thing I also found odd. Niall is her "Father" why would he be cuddling with her in ther bed?

Now another thing. Why was she in an orphanage. People don't live in orphanages unless they are in a 3rd world or 2nd world country. If they live in a 1st world country, like the US, or the UK, they would be in a foster home. Also, the amount of time it took to adopt Cammy confused me. It would take a mimimum of 6 months. The agency would have to do an extencive background check on the soon to be parents. They would then to be approved as fit parents, and that also takes a while. So I did have problems with that.

Over all, I find the concept over used. Though the use of words in this particular story is pretty good, so I found myself continuing to read it.



Creativity: 2

Punctuation/Grammar: 8


Overall: 4

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