Please enjoy my very first chapter of "I don't care!"
I don't care about life. Why should I? Life is filled with worry and disappointment. It's vicious cycle happens over and over again. Think about it.....Lets take school for an example, You're just finished doing an exam you don't care about it for the first few day but then a week or a month after it you worry like hell because you don't want to be seen as a failure by all your friends, soon your results come out and then the disappointment sinks when you realize you're sitting on a big fat F!
People at school always say to me "look at the bright side of life!" that's easy for them to say! they aren't failing in school. They haven't got even the slightest idea of how i feel nor do they give a fuck which i fine with me. I don't care if no-one gives the slightest fuck about me, why should I? I'm worthless and everyone that surrounds me damn well knows it.
My friends Amelia and Simon don't know how much i'm struggling in every day life.....no-one does but you know what! I really don't care!
I'm Vicky Hanson, I'm eighteen years old and i'm from Northern Ireland.
Beep...beep...beep. I smash my hand and down on my alarm clock trying to locate the snooze button. The annoying sound soon stops and i roll over and fall back to sleep. Today's Monday the worst day of the week, luckily school doesn't start again til next week and boy am i glad! I hate school, it's like a prison where there are set times for everything! including using the bathroom, Who in gods name does that, they can't make me go to the toilet at a particular time! I don't have a bathroom schedule! and who the fuck does! well my friend Amelia has one but that's because she's very accurate and likes everything to be perfect unlike her, perfection is not one of my wishes in life and it never will be because honestly I couldn't care less about anyone on this planet not even my Mum or Dad. They probably can't be arsed listening to me criticize everything they do like.... smiling and laughing! I haven't had a proper laugh in years well I've had the odd giggle but nothing spectacular like enormous shrieks of laughter.
I'm worthless and always will be, and no-one can change me and how i feel about myself but if i'm brutally honest, no-one else is actually the problem yea they bother me but the real problem is just life itself and if i had a genie that offered me a wish i'd change everything about me, my appearance, my personality and most of all my brain to make me smarter and not the complete dumb ass that i am.
I decide it's time to finally get up, i walk out of my room and down the hall to use the bathroom, I recoil at my appearance once i look in the mirror. I'm a mess, my hair is in tats, my eyes are blood shot and my old make-up from yesterday is smothered across my face. I run back to my room and grab a pair of black leggings and a white vest top, i also grab a green jacket and sprint back to the bathroom and have a roasting hot shower to get me woke up. I dry my self and put on my clothes quickly so i don't become cold.
After i brushed my teeth and attempted to fix my hair,i went downstairs to grab some breakfast. As i entered the kitchen both my mum and dad were there with mum making toast and dad reading the paper. I sat down across from my dad at the breakfast table, he set down his paper and smiled at me.
"Hi sweetheart, how's you today?" My dad asked in a sincere voice. I replied with a blank face
Dad and i were never close, i never told him anything. I was afraid of being judged by him, he is so successful and is around smart and happy people all day at work but not whenever he's here well except for mum sh's perfectly happy, i think she doesn't even have a clue about what's going on in my mind well nobody does except for me.
"What would you like on your toast Vicky?" My mum is addicted to toast she makes it every hour of everyday i don't understand why but one does like a taste for it once in a while but certainly not for lunch and dinner!
"I'll just have mine plain please" I don't really care what's on it as long as it's not jam!
"Whatever you want sweetie" She gave me the toast and then they both left the kitchen.
I ate the toast in record time and left the house to go for a walk, i always like to go for a walk and listen to my music when i just can't be bothered with life.
Sorry the first chapter is a bit crappy but it's just a chapter to give you a taste of what vicky thinks like
I promise the next couple of chapters will be jam-packed full different events happening and who knows one direction might show up..
P.s the other chapters will be longer.
-Hannah :) xx