Movie and TV Show Quotes

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33. Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Sherlock Holmes: [to Watson] Never theorize before you have data. Invariably, you end up twisting facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.

 

Dr. John Watson: You've been in this room for two weeks, I insist you have to get out.

Sherlock Holmes: There is absolutely nothing of interest to me, out there, on Earth, at all.

Dr. John Watson: So you're free this evening?

Sherlock Holmes: Absolutely.

Dr. John Watson: Dinner?

Sherlock Holmes: Wonderful.

Dr. John Watson: The Royale?

Sherlock Holmes: My favorite.

Dr. John Watson: Mary's coming.

Sherlock Holmes: Not available.

Dr. John Watson: You're meeting her, Holmes!

Sherlock Holmes: Have you proposed yet?

Dr. John Watson: No, I haven't found the right ring.

Sherlock Holmes: Then it's not official.

Dr. John Watson: It's happening. Whether you like it or not, 8:30, the Royale. Wear a jacket!

Sherlock Holmes: *You* wear a jacket.

 

[first lines]

Sherlock Holmes: [voice-over] Head cocked to the left, partial deafness in ear: first point of attack. Two: throat; paralyze vocal chords, stop scream. Three: got to be a heavy drinker, floating rib to the liver. Four: finally, drag in left leg, fist to patella. Summary prognosis: unconscious in ninety seconds, martial efficacy quarter of an hour at best. Full faculty recovery: unlikely.

 

[in a bare-knuckle boxing match, Holmes sees Irene and tries to forfeit and leave]

Sherlock Holmes: That's it, big man. You've won, congratulations.

McMurdo: Oi, we ain't done yet!

[He spits at the back of Holmes's head. Holmes stops]

Sherlock Holmes: [voice-over] This mustn't register on an emotional level...

[in slow motion]

Sherlock Holmes: First, distract target...

[Holmes flicks a handerchief in front of his opponent's face]

Sherlock Holmes: Then block his blind jab, counter with cross to left cheek. Discombobulate.

[Holmes claps his hands over his opponent's ears]

Sherlock Holmes: Dazed, will attempt wild haymaker. Employ elbow block, and body shot. Block feral left, weaken right jaw, now fracture.

[a cross to the jaw fractures the bone]

Sherlock Holmes: Break cracked ribs, traumatize solar plexus, dislocate jaw entirely.

[Two more body blows, and a right hook to the jaw hinge]

Sherlock Holmes: Heel kick to diaphragm...

[Holmes finishes with a heel kick to his opponent's chest, sending him crashing out of the ring]

Sherlock Holmes: In summary: ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm haemmorraging. Physical recovery: six weeks. Full psychological recovery: six months. Capacity to spit at back of head: neutralized.

[Back in real time, Holmes picks up the handkerchief, as though wiping the back of his neck, then does all of the foregoing in about six seconds, and kicks McMurdo out of the ring]

 

[last lines]

Sherlock Holmes: Case re-opened.

 

 

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