“You ready for government?” asked Paige as I got into the school.
“Yeah, let's go.” I said.
As we walked to class she asked me, “Are you sure you're ok?”
“Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm fine.”
“You've been pretty out of it today.” she said.
“I keep thinking about freshmen year.” I said.
“You have to move on from it.” said Paige concerned.
“I'm trying. I thought after counciling I would be ok, but I don't know I just can't forget it.”
“Do you regret it?” she asked me as we outside the classroom door.
“No. I know I did the right thing.” I said.
“Then why can't you let go?” she asked.
“Ever since they moved to Florida with Abby, I just can't stop thinking about it.” I said.
“Maybe you should let it in.” she said.
“I thought you said I should let it go.” I said.
“I know. I think the best way to let it go is to just embrace it.” she said going in to the room.
We sat down in the back. Maybe she was right.
I had texted Jake asking him to come to the dinner. He said he would and that he would pick me up.
“Are you sure you really want to do this?” asked my mom for the hundreth time.
“Yes, I want to do this.” I said looking at myself in the mirror.
I was wearing the new paternity jeans my mom had gotten me and they fit great, I was also wearing a white blouse. The white blouse didn't hide my stomach very well, but this was just the Nelson's, I didn't have to be embarassed about them.
The doorbell went off. I rushed to get it before Sean did. I opened the door and saw Jake standing there.
“Are you ready?” he asked. I could tell he was upset with me, but I didn't care.
“Yeah.” I said following him to his car.
I got in the front seat.
“I can't believe we're doing this.” he said as we pulled out.
“What?” I asked.
“Giving our baby to these people.” he said.
“They are really great and they have a nice house that the baby will be happy in.” I said trying to assure him.
It didn't work.
“I don't care how nice their house is. I don't know them and I don't want them raising my kid.” he said.
“You know what, I don't either, this has to happen.” I said.
“No it dosen't.” he said as we drove.
“Yes it does, just behave when we get there.” I said sitting back in my seat.
It took about ten minutes to get there.
“Remember to behave.” I said to him as we got out.
“Alright.” he said as we walked up to the door.
I rang the doorbell and Sam opened it.
“Hi, Ellie. How have you been doing?” she asked me.
“I'm fine. This is Jake. He's the father.” I said introducing them.
“Very nice to meet you. Come on in.”
We went in and went to sit in the living room. Bob was already sitting in there.
“Ellie, it's good to see you again.” he said standing up.
“You too.” I said giving him a smile.
“Well, who is this?” asked Bob looking at Jake.
“I'm the father.” said Jake coldly.
Bob must not have noticed how cold he sounded, and if he did he didn't say anything about it.
“Nice to meet you, I'm Bob.” he said holding out his hand to him.
Jake took it.
“Dinner's about ready. Why don't you all come out?” said Sam coming in.
We sat down and in a moment Sam had a bunch of delicious food in front of us.
“Wow, Sam this is really great.” I said to her.
“I hope this is all okay. I read on the internet that during the pregnancy, some women have food aversions.” she said sitting down next to Bob.
“Yeah, I can't stand onions. Not that I really liked them that much before, but now if I just smell them, I'll get sick.” I said.
“Morning sickness is good. It means the baby is healthy.” said Bob.
“So Bob what do you do?” asked Jake out of the blue.
“I work at a law firm.” he said.
“What about you?” he asked Sam.
“I stay at home.” she said.
“Really?” he asked.
“After I found out that we would be getting the baby, I quit my job.” she said.
“What did you do?” he asked.
“I was a waitress.” she said.
“Sam, didn't go to college.” said Bob.
“Why not?” asked Jake. I was so embarassed.
I thought Sam was gonna tell him to mind his own business, but instead she smiled and said, “I just didn't like it very much. I wanted to become an artist, but I didn't make it.”
“I'm sorry.” I said to her.
“Don't be. Thanks to you we get have our own family.” she said smiling at me.
“But the baby isn't yours.” said Jake.
I could have hit him.
Bob said, “Not biologically, but we're still going to love it like our own.”
“Why can't you have your own kids?” asked Jake.
“Jake enough, that's personal.” I said.
“We know this is hard Jake, but like we told Ellie we will try and make this as easy on you two as we can.” said Sam sympathetic.
“You have know idea what it's like. You can't have kids.” he said standing up.
“Young man, you are way out of line.” said Bob getting angry.
“Of course I'm going to be. Two people I barely now are gonna be taking care of my kid.” said Jake and walked out.
“I'm so sorry.” I said.
“It's fine. Give him time.” said Sam.
“You still want it, right?” I asked them.
“Of course. You better go smooth things over with Jake.” said Sam.
“Thank you.” I said running outside.
Jake was sitting in car. I got in.
“Why did you do it?” I asked him.
“They're really good people.” he said.
“I know, they're really great.” I said looking down.
“Maybe you're right, this is for the best.” he said.
“Really?” I asked.
“I don't think I can be around you anymore.” he said.
“What?” I asked shocked.
“It'll just be to hard.” he said starting the car and pulling out.
“So you're just gonna bail on me?” I asked him.
“I didn't mean it like that.” he said as we drove.
“How did you mean it then?” I asked him.
“I don't know.” he said.
We drove in silence for the next ten minutes and once he pulled into my drive I got out without a work to him.
My mom and brother were sitting in the living room.
“How did it go?” asked my mom looking up from her book.
“Awful. You were right. I shouldn't have brought Jake.” I said going upstairs.
“El, wait. What happened?” asked Sean following me.
“I'll tell you about it later.” I said going into my room and closing the door.
I sat on my bed and let the tears fall.