I walked into my first class and sat down and started drifting off again as the teacher began to talk.
After it was over I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was all over the place. I tried combing it through with my fingers.
“I look awful.” I said.
“No you don't, you look beautiful.” he said putting on his shirt.
“I can't go back to Jenna's house like this.” I said.
“Do you need a ride?” he asked getting up.
“No. I'll be fine.” I said and walked out the door before he could say anything else.
I can't believe that just happened. What's wrong with me? Why couldn't I have said no.
“There you are.” said Jenna coming up to me.
“Can we go?” I asked. I could tell I was about to cry.
“Yeah. I'll go get Zoey.” said Jenna.
She found Zoey and we went out to the car.
“What happened Ellie?” asked Jenna.
“Did a guy force you to do something you didn't want to do?” asked Zoey.
“No. I just want to get back to your house.” I said holding the tears back.
We got back to her place just in time. Their parents were already asleep. Zoey went to bed.
“What happened at the party?” asked Jenna as we were getting ready for bed.
I told her what happened, I left out some of the details. There was no way I would tell her about that.
“That's great!” said Jenna.
“No it's not. That isn't exactly how I would have I wanted my first time to go.” I said.
“So he wasn't good?” she asked.
“Not that I have much to compare it to, but he was fine. It's just it wasn't very romantic with kids yelling and music blaring downstairs.”
“Don't worry. As long as you used protection you'll be fine. You did use protection right?” she asked concerned.
“Yeah, he said he did.” I said.
“Good. That would be a bad way to start the year.” she said turning off the light.
She was right, it was.
I was getting ready for sixth period the next day when Jake came up to me at my locker.
“Hey.” he said.
“Hi.” I said not looking at him.
“Are you okay? You rushed out of there pretty fast.” he said.
“I'm fine.” I said closing my locker.
I started walking to my sixth period and he followed.
“Are you made at me?” he asked.
“No, why would you think that?” I said.
“You've been ignoring me today.”
“To be honest I don't know what I'm feeling.” I said.
“Did you not want too?” he asked.
“No, I did, it's just I didn't exactly want my first time to be with a guy I barely know.” I said stopping.
“How about you let me take you out then?”
“I was thinking maybe we'd start out as friends.” I said.
“If that's what it takes, then alright.” he said and walked off.