I've always been that good, little girl in school. The 'nerd' . Bullied. Be-friended. Replaced. I thought that was bad, but I never really knew what this terrible life would bring me until now. I was always told as a child "life is a gift, take it for granted." I actually believed it was a gift and tryed so hard to take it for what it was apparently worth, but I must have been a stupid nerd because life's not a gift, its a trap. It pulls you in and you can't do anything but wait for something good to happen. Which is pointless because nothing good will ever happen...

WARNING: This story includes triggering and emotional scenes.


14. Cut, wipe and wash.

I chucked my bag on the cold, hard floor and jumped on my bed. Were I lay there and screamed. The day was not as bad as some others I had, had but it was still bad. The whole of my year, well girls had seen me completely make a fool of myself. I had flipped the teacher off and stomped out. To be totally honest, I had done what I had wanted to do in a long time. So why aren't I happy? 

I took my blade and did my usual after school routine. Cut, wipe and wash. 

Another night of weeping into my pillow passed and Friday soon came.


I woke up to a pillow covered in black eyeliner and pain in my chest probably from the amount of crying and screaming I had done. I did my usual morning routine and slammed the front door shut. My head was banging and even though music usually cured my pain this time it didn't. I felt hopeless as usual and I really didn't want to go to school. Not today, not next week, not ever. I wanted to sit in my bedroom, in a ball and slowly fade away. No one wanted me to live on this earth, everyone hated me and I never understood why but now I do because I now hate me too. As I passed the corner shop, I knew I might as well make myself feel better with a can of monster, so I went inside, got a can and payed.


The day passed quite quick to be honest and in no time it was dinner. Everywhere I went I was given the dirtiest looks I have ever seen, I could tell all eyes were on me. I feel when presents are on me, I don't know how I just do. As the bell went for dinner, I put my earphones in, got out my Monster, went to my usual place and drew my feelings onto the page.

I don't know how long I had been stood there drawing but not too long after I was settled, I finally decided to look up to see what looked like a boy coming to towards... me?

Shit, shit, shit what did he want? I felt my body tremble as he came closer but the more he came closer the more he looked less of a threat. He had black hair, and he wore a Bring me the Horizon shirt with black skinny jeans. Was he like me? I had never seen him before, how? Was he new? Finally he had reached me and the questions raced through my head. Now I could see him clearly, he wore black eyeliner and he had flippy hair. I got to say I was falling for him and I hadn't even met him. That's when he spoke...


"Um, hi," He flipped his hair out of his eyes and looked at me. 

"...hello?," My hands started shaking in my pockets as I spoke. He was kinda stuck in a trance for a moment or two which caused it to be very awkward. 

"...Oh, sorry. I forgot you don't me..," He started to speak quite fast like he was nervous? "..erh my names Blade. He gave a side smirk. "You probably don't know me..," You got that right. "...and well I know you, um..," He knew me?!? "Your Kyla...and well I probably sound like a stalker right now but that's not the point. I have seen you around these past couple of months and well..," His took his left arm and put it on the back of his neck. "I, I like you. And I wanted to know... would you want to go out with me?." 





Well, well, well wasn't expecting that was you? *chuckles to self* Sorry I haven't published in a while, I have been going through a lot lately. But ye, next chapter will be out soon c:

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