Ten minutes before seven and I was standing outside Harry's apartment. It was the night before his big birthday bash. Why did he want me to come over tonight? I reached my hand up and stood idle for a moment. Why would he want to speak with me?
After all, he has a girlfriend. Emotions of jealous came into my mind and I quickly let go of the thought. Why was I suddenly feeling this way? It occurred to me that I was slowly falling for Harry. What? I didn't even kiss him.
I thought about the immediate attraction when I saw him in the hallways before class began after the first day we met. Why am I falling for someone who didn't want me? Or maybe, he did? I shook my head, then proceed to knock on the door.
The door opened and there Harry stood. He was dressed in a red flannel shirt that was slightly unbuttoned. It was a protruding V-neck style, but he showed a white t-shirt underneath. He wore his casual black jeans. It was then I noted the necklaces dangling around his neck.
I have never noticed them before, but I figured they could've been tucked under his shirts. To make matters worse, an idea was plastered in my mind to kiss him with much passion and push him against the wall while taking of his shirt to reveal-
"Hey, you came over. I didn't think you would." Harry said as he interrupted my thoughts. "Come in." I entered his apartment and he closed the door behind me. Inside, it smelled like tomato sauce and a bit of onion.
"I made spaghetti for dinner." I followed him into the dining area where everything had been set. I was surprised by the presentation of the food. Harry sure seemed to outdone himself. We sat down at the table and began eating. The food was fantastic.
"Where'd you learn to cook like this?" I asked him.
"My mom. I would help her in the kitchen whenever she was making our food." I later learned that Harry had a lot of women influence in his life. It didn't surprise me that he respected a lot of women, even the ones he had dated.
It was nice to have a quiet chat with Harry, but between the two of us, it seemed as if hardly any words were exchanged between us. Is this what it had come down to? We ignored each other for so long, it seemed as if we've run out of things to say.
"How's things with Jaime?" I asked. There was a sudden ache in my heart when I said her name. I didn't think it would hurt that much to see Harry with another girl, but I figured it would since my feelings for him had been developing.
Harry shifted a few of the spaghetti noodles on his plate before he ate a bite. He shrugged, "Things are good, I guess." He guesses? He seemed so happy during lunch. Even J- she looked happy to be with him, unless Harry was hiding something.
"Why's that?" I prodded. You know the statement, curiosity killed the cat? Well, I felt like I have died each time I became curious about a person or topic. "Can I ask you something? I mean, it's just I haven't been able to… open up to anyone lately and it's something I need to get off my chest." he said.
I nodded and allowed for him to continue. "Have you ever wanted someone so badly and you do everything you can to get their attention, but all they do is push you away? Then you make up for the lost time you wish you had spent with that person by spending it with your friends or other people?"
I felt like his questions were directed towards me. I looked down at my plate and gently bit my lip. "I somewhat understand where you're coming from. If you really like this person Harry, ask them out." I uttered the last part before I took a sip of water.
"Like on a date?"
I looked up at him and gave him a shocked expression. "Have you ever gone out on a date before Harry?"
"Multiple times, but this… this girl is different. I don't know how to ask her out. I mean, most girls would suffice with hanging out at my apartment or going to their house to- yeah, you know. She's nothing like the girls I've dated.
"She's beautiful, smart, and I don't think I could ever have a chance to be with her." He looked down at his plate and sighed. "Just be direct Harry." I said. I just realized that most long conversations Harry and I had were at his apartment.
When he didn't say anything, "Harry-"
"Stella, will you go out with me?" He interrupted before I could get another word out. When I couldn't give a response, he repeated his question. I stood up and walked out of the apartment. I needed some air. A walk would be nice.
I thought and went to the elevator. The doors opened and I stepped in, but Harry arrived before the doors closed. "Stella, talk to me." He said, but I didn't look at him. He made me dinner. He cooked for me. He cooked for me.
"You can't walk out on me again." he continued. The doors opened and I stepped out, but he followed me towards the entrance. "Stella. Stella!" I began to walk even faster down the block. I didn't turn my head, but I knew he was following me. I could hear the sound of his footsteps hitting the concrete ground.
He grabbed my arm and turned my body towards his direction. Both hands were placed around my arm. He looked into my eyes. His green eyes were searching for answers, reasons as to why I walked out. "Harry, I-"
"You can trust me." His voice was quiet and the wind suddenly picked up. The tears began to form and roll down my cheeks as I shook my head. "Stella, please. Talk to me. I'm your friend." When has he ever been a friend to me?
It suddenly hit me. Through all the times my friends weren't there for me, Harry was. He was the one who came to my apartment. He was the one who stated that he cared. He trusted me, but I couldn't seem to trust him.
"We can't be friends Harry." I said. The words stabbed him like a knife as he dropped his arms. I turned and walked down the street. We can't be friends because I'm falling for you. I finished the thought in my mind.
I left him. I left Harry alone on the sidewalk, just like I had left Zayn. Obviously, there were for two different reasons. I couldn't go back to my apartment just yet. Harry would be there. I walked down the block and saw a familiar black truck parked in the driveway in front of a condo.
Liam. I instantly thought then approached the condo. I walked up to the door and immediately wiped away the tears that had escaped. I reached up and knocked on the door, then waited a minute or two before the door opened.
"Stella? What are you doing here?" Liam was surprised to see me. I couldn't blame him. I came to his place unannounced. "I need to talk with you." I told him as he nodded, then allowed me to come in.
His parents were both working and his sisters had moved out. He made me a cup of coffee and we sat down on the couch in the living room. "Tell me what happened." Without any hesitation, I told him. I told him everything that happened this week.
From when Louis had picked me up at school to a run-in with Zayn and lastly, I told him about what happened recently with Harry. "So the reason why you don't want to be friends is that you're falling for him?" he asked. "Why don't you just go out on a date with him?"
"It's not simple Liam. Every time I look into Harry's eyes, I see Zayn. The Zayn that practically ripped my heart out and stomped on it, the Zayn that only wants to have sex with me above all other things. That's what I see in Harry's eyes.
"But then I have a thought that Harry's not like that. He's honestly a nice guy, second to you in fact." I chuckled lightly, but then went back to a more serious note. "I'm just conflicted with the idea that I'm going to get hurt again like the first time."
"Stel, the second will never be like the first unless you make it that way. If you do like Harry, give it a shot. It's better to try than to not have tried and regret making that decision." Liam was right. He was always right.
I nodded and took a sip of my coffee. Liam allowed for me to stay the night. He lent me one of his shirts to borrow for sleeping. He grabbed a pillow from his bed and a blanket. "Thanks again Liam." I smiled.
Liam smiled, "Sure, no problem Stel." We said our good nights and he went down the hallway to his room. I positioned myself comfortably on the couch and wrapped the blanket around my body. Yet, I couldn't sleep comfortably that night.
Thoughts of Harry went wild and that's when I figured I should give him another chance. The next morning, Liam drove me back to my apartment. I had returned the shirt to him and thanked him for allowing me to spend the night.
I went back up to my apartment, but before I entered, another note was left on the door.
I'm sorry about what happened last night. I shouldn't have asked you to go out with me. I guess it was too soon? Or maybe you just didn't feel that way. Anyways, I broke up with Jaime. It wasn't working out.
Well, I hope to see you tonight. If not, I understand and we can just go back to normal. Avoiding each other. Completely. Maybe you might not trust me, but I entrust you with the extra key to my apartment. I'll be staying with Louis for a few days, but who really knows, right?
For now, I guess this is goodbye.
PS whatever you do. DON'T fall asleep on me.
I laughed that the PS statement below and smiled a bit when I entered my apartment. The smile faded when I realized that I was the one who caused Harry to leave. He was never going to come back. Well, I wouldn't say never.
I contemplated on whether or not I should attend the party tonight. I picked up my phone and waited. After two rings, a voice picked up. "April, I'll see you tonight."