3. it helps me cope
One day the pain became too much and I just couldn't take it any longer. I took about three advils knowing it wouldn't take the pain away, but it did something, it felt like it had cured something but I know it didn't. After about an hour it wore off and I took the last four capsules in the container. Then it hit me I was all out of pills and I wanted more, I needed more, I needed something stronger.
I went to the doctor and said I was having calf pains and that the regular pain medicine wasn't helping so he subscribed me a over the counter pain medicine. When I went to pick it up I got in my car and immediately took five. They made me feel amazing, but I knew this was the start of a long path of self harm I may never be able to over come