At first there was Nothing.
I’m not sure how it’s possible, but it was.
There was no air to breath, but I didn’t need breath. There was no ground, but I didn’t have any feet to stand on. My body was a part of Nothing, so was my mind. My soul was Nothing in which that seemed possible. My body felt neither heat nor cold, but I wasn’t sure there was no body to feel this.
Then Words started floating in Nothing. At first I wasn’t sure of what the Words were saying, it was like they were spoken in an language unfamiliar to me.
But then all the Words made sense.
The Words told me all the things I didn’t wanted to hear.
They told me that I was useless and that was never going to be anything great. They said that my parents were disappointed in me. They whispered that no one ever liked me and that my parents always regret having me. They shouted that no one was ever going to love me and that I was going to be lonely and miserable my whole life.
The Words where everywhere
They filled Nothing.
I tried to scream at them that they were wrong and that my parents loved me. But my words drowned in theirs. I was the only one to hear them, but not even I was sure I believed in them.
So I closed my eyes though there were no eyes to close, and I flew with the words. And for moments I was a part of the Words, though they seemed so far away, out of my reach.
The words carried my not existing body to unknown worlds, though I didn’t move anywhere. Where was I? Not here. Not anywhere.
It started in my fingertips, not noticeable at first. Then it spread, first just one finger turning blue without color. Then two.
It ran up my arm, starting to fill up the body. The coldness from inside woke my up from my dreaming of nothing, and I looked down. First then realizing that was possible, and seeing nothing but everything. Noticing my blue body with no color.
The cold scared me. It made me numb, not realizing there were a body and a mind able to being numb. So I closed my eyes with that belief that what wasn’t possible to see, didn’t exist. I wished for a little bit heat, not being able to remember what heat exactly was.
The heat choked me. It was everywhere, warming up my non-physical body. The sweat starting to fall from my forehead, seemed like rain from a cloud free sky, surprising and unbelievable.
A smell reached my nose, not sure what I smelled could be called a smell. It seemed burned, burning flesh I realized.
I looked down. My legs were on fire. Red, orange and yellow flames licked my body, burning it on the way. It hurt, not realizing that was a feeling I was able to have.
The fire burned me. Not just my body, but also my mind. It etched it up till I wasn’t sure it was there anymore.
I opened my mouth, screaming without sound. A silent shout for help there wouldn’t come. A beg for something that wouldn’t arrive.
I was alone in Nothing, I realized. I was all by myself. I was lonely, not sure what that meant. Just that I was it.
And it was enough realizing it.
And the only thought running trough my boiling head in all that heat and all that pain, was how much I would give for a little bit of coldness.
Just a piece of nothing.