When you lose someone you care about nothing else matters in the world; your world becomes one big black hole, you lose all the happiness in your body, mind, soul and spirit.

Hayden Rivers was always the shy type who was always with her older brother, their bond grew even closer when they were abandoned by their parents.

That all changes when her older brother (Ryan) dies and leaves her alone in the big, cruel world, she feels like an ant compared to everyone else and is lost with no sense of direction

At his funeral she doesn't expect to cross paths with Russell Scott

She witnesses him about to kill someone and that creates more problems in her already twisted life

Russell Scott is the most feared guy not only in their school but around the small town the live in; He has tattoos, deals, drugs, fights,
has anger issues that get him in a lot of trouble and his own skeletons in his closet.

No matter how many people tell her to stay away she just can't


35. Chapter 35

The room was filled with moans and groans from the both of them; He placed an arm under her waist, elevating her slightly making her back arch. He thrust into her deeper. Her limbs felt weak, shaking at the intense pleasure she was feeling .She moaned loudly and breathed heavily followed by a grunt from Russell.

Their clothes where thrown everywhere around the room.

Russell fell beside her breathing heavily as well, trying to catch his breath.

‘Do it now Hayden’ she encouraged herself feeling very shy, Sam said that Josh loved it when she did what she was about to do to Russell.

She climbed on top of his and started kissing his neck softly while moving up and down on him making her bare breasts brushed against his hard chest. She could feel his excitement brushing against her and she moaned

His hands held her waist tightly probably leaving a mark.

She slowly started to move down kissing his chest and torso taking the bed sheet with her. Her hair was sprawled on his chest making him inhale the vanilla scent

She reached his waist line and gently kissed him there making him jerk

 She gently but firmly wrapped her fingers around his length, he released a deep groan which could be a good sign... Right? Well at least she hoped it was.

Russell looked at her; her hair dishevelled, her eyebrows furrowed. Hayden bent down licking her lips trying to figure out how to do it

“You don’t have to-” his sentence was cut short when a pain swept through him when she took him into her mouth roughly making him flinch

“Shit” he cursed trying to rub his now throbbing erection

“Oh my God I am so sorry” she apologised trying to ease his pain by rubbing it which wasn’t helping at all, she sat up quickly and got off his body

“Are you okay? Should I bring you Ice?”

“No baby, I just need a minute” he grunted turning his body on the bed, lying on his stomach. His erection in his hands

Hayden was embarrassed and didn’t know what else to say...was she that bad? Maybe she really did bore him...he hadn’t even said he loved her ever since they were intimate months ago

“I am so sorry” she whispered

He sat up slowly and leaned against the headboard with one leg bent, the bed sheet falling to his waist.

“Come here” his deep voice rang in her ears going straight to her core

“I’m actually really um thirsty so um I’m just gonna” she lied gathering the bed sheet around her

Russell just stared at her with a look that was indescribable

“Hayden I wasn’t asking you” he furrowed his eyebrows like she had just said the most ridiculous thing

She knew she shouldn’t test him but she was too humiliated to even face him in that moment and avoided all eye contact with him.

She stood looking out the small kitchen window and grabbed a glass filling it to the top. She drank her water quickly and paused for a moment reminiscing on what just happened over a hundred times.

She placed her face into her hands groaning. Suddenly her body was turned and her body was pinned against the hard wall beside the sink with Russell looking at her intensely who was now in some grey track pants and nothing else Her mouth opened and closed probably making her look like a fish.

“I don’t like disrespect” he spoke through gritted

Even though they had sex... no wait....amazing sex she was still afraid of him

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing I just-”

“Damn it don’t lie to me Hayden” he spoke angrily which made her flinch slightly

She looked at him forcing the hot tears back

“I...Do I-”she paused licking her already moist lips...How do you ask the boy you’re madly in love with if you bore him?

“Do I bore you?” she asked him shifting from one foot to the other still in his tight grip

Her voice broke slightly at the end of her sentence, he let go of her waist but still trapped her by placing his hands beside her head

“Bore me?” he repeated looking confused

“It’s just that you...you make me feel so sexy all the time” she answered “I was trying to be sexy for you” she blushed explaining

“Oh Hayden” his voice came out deeper and huskier, his large hands cupping her face, titling her head to look to look at him

His silence was enough to make her feel like a complete idiot for telling him that

He pulled her closer, his erection poking her stomach.

“Do you feel that baby?” he asked her

He leaned in and she placed her hand on his chest “Every time I see or think about taking you in every position that comes to mind this happens” he spoke gruffly in her ear making her want to moan. “And these” he continued lifting one hand to her breast. He threw his head back groaning, She started to feel weak and unstable “I want to fuck these so badly baby” he spoke making her even more moist at the thought of him doing such a foreign thing to her. Well foreign to her anyway.

He took her earlobe into his mouth and she whimpered “So fucking sexy” he whispered in her ear and then moved to her neck

Her moans filled his ears making his erection harder his hand moved from her breast and into her hair, tugging roughly, kissing her lips making sure to bite her lower lip.

She put her arms round his neck. His lips, moved close to hers, the feeling of them driving her crazy. He had only been kissing her and she already felt like she needed him in her. He lifted her and carried her back to his room.

Russell kissed her, his slow movements on top of her tantalising. Russell moved a hand under the sheet Hayden was wearing, their large grip cupping her. Hayden moaned softly; Russell continued to kiss her, the movements of his hands driving her crazy, until she felt it; the hot sensation, making its way up her body. She stopped kissing Russell and he opened his eyes. She placed a hand on her mouth, moving away from him and sprinting away to the bathroom.

Hayden locked the door, and threw up. She cleaned up afterwards and sat at the door, leaning on it. Russell had been knocking. “Hayden unlock the door” she heard him say, she wanted to answer but she just couldn’t. “Bambi I will break this fucking door if I have to, unlock the door” .He called a few more times and she finally opened the door..

“Ru-” She started to say, but he was still just looking at her, his facial expression upset.

“Why would you lock the door?” Russell asked.

“You wanted to see throw-up?” Hayden asked jokingly, but he didn’t seem amused.

 “It’s just a st-” Hayden wanted to say but Russell’s eyes just fixed on hers, the agitation evident, so she shut her mouth again.

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