When you lose someone you care about nothing else matters in the world; your world becomes one big black hole, you lose all the happiness in your body, mind, soul and spirit.

Hayden Rivers was always the shy type who was always with her older brother, their bond grew even closer when they were abandoned by their parents.

That all changes when her older brother (Ryan) dies and leaves her alone in the big, cruel world, she feels like an ant compared to everyone else and is lost with no sense of direction

At his funeral she doesn't expect to cross paths with Russell Scott

She witnesses him about to kill someone and that creates more problems in her already twisted life

Russell Scott is the most feared guy not only in their school but around the small town the live in; He has tattoos, deals, drugs, fights,
has anger issues that get him in a lot of trouble and his own skeletons in his closet.

No matter how many people tell her to stay away she just can't


3. Chapter 3

Are you out of your fucking mind?” Jade hissed angrily


“No, I’m not Jade” Hayden snapped already aware of her mistake she didn’t need anyone reminding her or telling her she was crazy and stupid for smacking Russell


“Why the hell would you do that Hayden” Jade continued to scold


“I don’t know” Hayden lied again, It was probably best not to tell her friends they kissed in the library because that would earn her another earful from Jade


“Come on Jay, stop with the 3rd degree” Peyton rolled her eyes “She gets it”


“No I don’t think she does because she was being stupid” Jade pressed further


“Peyton you know how dangerous Russell is, smacking him out of the blue doesn’t exactly get you a ribbon now does it”


“You know what jade” Hayden angrily stood up “Last time I checked you have screwed up many fucking times, so forgive me I am also human ,I am not a child who needs to be scolded and both of you need to stop acting like I am some fragile person who can’t take care of herself. Why don’t both of you just fuck off”


Ignoring their shocked faces, she grabbed her bag and left the cafeteria.


She wanted to throw a rock, scream, punch something and just let it all out. She walked to the car park and sat behind the school wall.


She looked down at her wrists that were now covered in purple bruises; she wasn’t sure how to feel anymore...her attempt at a normal day at school was going down a very unpleasant route.


Her eyes filled with tears and she let them fall freely, she was tired of carrying all her emotions and she just let them out.


Her fingers shakily reached into her backpack and she pulled out a pack of cigarettes she stole from Ryan’s belongings, this was the first time she was ever going to smoke and quite frankly it scared the shit out of her but she felt like she needed it, like it would magically make everything better for her in that moment.


She shakily lit the cigarette and analyzed it for a moment before bringing it to her lips,her lips parted and she placed the cigarette in-between and inhaled slowly.


The smoke invaded her throat and she started to cough violently


“Shit” she cursed to herself, when she finally caught her breath she tried again and this time it seemed easier


She inhaled and exhaled slowly leaning against the school wall.


She remembered once she pestered her brother to try when she was 13 and he said no a thousand times until she brought out the waterworks and puppy dog eyes. He got an earful from Adrianna that they would never forget


 “Hey girlie” Peyton softly spoke and walked toward the crying girl who had a cigarette in her hand. Peyton knew what she was doing was wrong but now wasn’t the time to tell her that she couldn’t smoke and if they got caught she would be in serious shit with the principal.


“I miss him so much Peyton, it hurts” Hayden’s voice broke


“I know Hay, I know” Peyton hugged her tightly “What are you doing Hayden” Peyton whispered while taking away the cigarette in her hand and stepping on it.

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