When you lose someone you care about nothing else matters in the world; your world becomes one big black hole, you lose all the happiness in your body, mind, soul and spirit.

Hayden Rivers was always the shy type who was always with her older brother, their bond grew even closer when they were abandoned by their parents.

That all changes when her older brother (Ryan) dies and leaves her alone in the big, cruel world, she feels like an ant compared to everyone else and is lost with no sense of direction

At his funeral she doesn't expect to cross paths with Russell Scott

She witnesses him about to kill someone and that creates more problems in her already twisted life

Russell Scott is the most feared guy not only in their school but around the small town the live in; He has tattoos, deals, drugs, fights,
has anger issues that get him in a lot of trouble and his own skeletons in his closet.

No matter how many people tell her to stay away she just can't


18. Chapter 18

It had been a couple of days and there was still no sign of Russell. Was it terrible that she actually missed him? Or that she hadn’t stopped thinking about their kiss the entire time since it happened. She sat down and decided not to think about it and picked up her phone. She would naturally call Peyton, but she was still angry and the both of them. She wished she could talk to Russell and just feel his hand in hers again. She needed to draw

She had assumed she would be alone so had just worn a pair of grey pyjama shorts and a black t-shirt that was loose fitting and went shorter in the front than it did in the back, with the back going just below her bum which was the same length as her shorts. Her hair was a mess on her head, still a bit wet from her shower

She stared at the blank canvas in front of her, trying to come up with something to draw but failed miserably.

She needed reassurance

She put on a summer dress and some sandals. When she reached the steps she was called into the living room

“Where are you going?” Adriana asked her from the couch her and Annabelle where seated on

“Just to get some air” she smiled

“Okay, please be back soon Hayden” Adrianna looked at her worriedly

“I will”

“And be careful!” she shouted

“I will” she shouted back

She made her way outside and ran into something hard



“Yeah, How have you uh been?” he asked scratching the back of his neck lightly

“I’ve been better” she truthfully told him

Paul let out a chuckle and leaned against the door “Life can be a bitch at times” he added

“Yeah it can” she smiled “What are you doing here, let me guess Ross?”

“Actually no, I came to see you”

A blush crept on to her cheek “Oh” she breathed out “I was actually on my way out”

“Oh okay, where are you headed”

“Just to a friend” she answered

“Is this friend Russell Scott?” he asked, irritation laced in his voice

“Is there a problem with him?” she asked feeling the need to defend him

“Everything is wrong with him Hayden, the kid is bad news...look at what happened with you”

“You don’t know the truth”

“And what’s that...It wasn’t him?” he snorted

“Excuse me” she rudely interrupted his speech brushing passed him

She could hear his voice faintly in the back ground as she walked away. When she got to his door she wanted to knock but her hand wouldn’t move

‘Stop being a pussy Hayden’ she scolded herself and knocked

The door opened and Elliot smiled at her

“Is Russell here?” she asked

“He moved out”

The disappointment in Hayden’s face was evident “Oh”

“Can I have his address” she asked

She watched a frown appear on his face “I don’t think that’s a good idea Hayden, he has been more edgy lately-”

“Please Elliot” she begged desperatly

“Okay” he reluctantly wrote it down “If he kills me I am so coming to haunt your ass”

“Thank you” she smiled and was on her way.

She knocked over and over again but there was no answer. She gently held the door handle opening the door silently

“Russell?” she called but there was no answer

This apartment had more room, was still empty but had more room and great sunlight coming in, giving the room a faint peach color

She wondered through the rooms but stopped when she heard a shower running, she followed the noise of the water and made her way into his room. The bed was in a corner and his chest of drawers in the other... making it look more spacious.

She made her way to his drawers and stood debating whether or not she should open and check for tapes .Paranoid much? She opened the drawer and gasped at what she found; a gun on top of his clothes

She picked it up and aimed at nothing particular

“Hayden?” she heard his voice and at the same time she let out a startled scream and pulled the trigger shooting a corner in the ceiling

“Shit” he cursed stepping closer to her to take the gun away

“W-why do you have a gun in your top drawer” she stuttered not liking the feeling of shooting anything

“I kill people Hayden” he told her and that didn’t help ease her nerves

“I’m sorry about your ceiling” she apologized pathetically

“It’s okay, what were you doing?” he asked her, his face hard; intimidating her. His hair had grown out and was just touching his shoulders and yet he still looked attractive

“I-I-Just-” she stuttered

“I was being serious about the tape Hayden, I would never do that to you” he told her truthfully, she would just have to take his word for it.

“I’ll just give you a chance to uh” she said gesturing to his clothes, her cheeks bright red and he nodded his head

She made her way to his living room and sat on his sofa awkwardly not sure of what to do with herself while she waited for him to finish getting changed.

The games on her phone where her only source of entertainment for the time being.

Hey, Halloween party tonight...want in?” she read Sam’s message and smiled

Her and Sam had been hanging out often and had slowly started becoming closer, She learned she stayed with her boyfriend and also attended her high school and she loved art as well

Whose party”

“One of Josh’s friends”


Nice x meet at my place?”

Just as she was about to reply Russell walked in dressed up in a black coat which hid all his tattoos but the ones on his neck, black t-shirt and some dark jeans with boots

“Did I interrupt your plans?” she asked softly

 “No, I was just going to get something to eat”

“Oh, we can talk later” she told him standing up

“You can join me if you want” he said awkwardly not used to asking girls to join him

It was now her turn to nod her head

She didn’t expect the whether to change so drastically in 30 minutes and she wrapped her arms around her body trying to create some body heat

“Here” he told her giving her a sweater from his back seat and surprisingly it was female. It must have been Marie’s

“I’m fine” Hayden answered throwing the sweater at him

“Hayden you’re shivering” he passed it back

“I’m fine” she snapped throwing it at him

“What the fuck is wrong with you” he snapped back

“I don’t want Marie’s jacket” she answered looking out of her window

“It’s not Marie’s”

“Then who is it for?”

“My mother”

“Your mother?” she repeated


“How come you never talk about her?”She asked embarrassed for the little fit she threw

“It never came up”

“What’s her name” Hayden asked now curious

“You ask too many questions” he chuckled lightly and lit a cigarette he took out of his pocket

Hayden wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing

“So where are we going?” She asked changing the subject

“Just a small restaurant I like to go to”

“Oh okay, so do you want to hang out later?” she asked him hoping to not get rejected

“I wish I could but I have training”

“Oh okay”

He cleared his throat and the comfortable silence they had turned into an awkward one. The sun was setting, a nice pink color covering the sky

Hayden tried not to show her disappointment, what exactly was she expecting

His large hand stretched out and turned on the radio and some rock song blasted through the speakers

The smoke from his cigarette filling the car, making a vehement mixture with his aftershave

He drove his truck faster making her hold on to her seat. The memory of them having sex in his truck was tattooed in her mind.

“You okay?” he asked her, throwing his cigarette out his car window.

She nodded her head and he drove even faster. He looked so unreal, like if you touched him he would disappear into thin air

She quite liked his long hair; it turned her on even more.

The restaurant was small and cute; little fairy lights decorated around the entire place, a different ambiance than she was used to.

What if she ran into someone from school and then what? She had been in hiding for a month and Adrianna let her know she would be attending school on Monday.

A beautiful petite woman walked out of the kitchen with her hair tied up

“Table for two”

“Right this way” she smiled, her gaze lingering on Russell longer than needed

“Would you like an open table or some privacy?” she asked

“Privet” he answered

She led them to a table in a corner of the restaurant and handed them both menus when they sat down

“Can I take your drink orders?”


“Water please” Hayden politely answered

“Coming right up” she walked off

“I never imagined someone like you coming here” she suddenly blurted

“Like me?” he asked raising one eyebrow

“I didn-, I mean like you’re so dark I wouldn’t expect you to be in a restaurant with fairy lights” she told him blushing

“My mother used to bring me here all the time when I was younger”

“Where’s your mother now?”


Hayden could tell from his face that he didn’t want to talk about it and she wasn’t going to force him to

“Is your dad alive?” she asked curiously


“Wha-” she started asking him something but the waitress arrived with their beverages

“Are you guys ready to order? We have this special for couple’s tonight-”

“We’re not a couple” Russell interrupted her...ouch

“Oh okay then, can I take your orders?” The waitress answered too cheerfully for Hayden’s liking

“A burger and fries”

“And for you?” she asked Hayden

“I’m fine thanks”

“She will have the same” Russell ordered

“Okay great” the waitress smiled and practically skipped to the kitchen

“I’m not hungry” Hayden started to argue

“Have you been eating Hayden?” he asked her


“Don’t lie to me” he told her looking at her with that stare that made her make a complete idiot out of herself

“No” she answered quietly. Hayden looked around the restaurant, trying not to focus on the fact that she was being scolded like she was five.

“You need to eat Hayden” he told her pulling her chair closer ignoring the gasp that left her parted lips “Look at what you’re doing to your beautiful body” His soft lips touched her pale neck while his hands stroked her back slowly, his finger tips teasing her heated skin.

Ah so this is why he picked a privet corner.

“You need to eat” He told her and started kissing her neck making her eyes hazy

“mhmm” she huskily moaned as he started sucking on her neck

She gently placed her hand on his thigh, gripping it tightly, as good as it feels she knew her feelings for him would get deeper and he didn’t see her as anything.

When the waitress came Hayden moved her chair quickly and sighed in relief thanking the heavens she came at the time she did. She ignored the disapproving look Russell gave her and she started picking up her fries. Comfort eating in front of the person who caused the pain. Ridiculous

Russell took a big bite of his burger, his eyes not leaving hers

“Eat” he told her and she picked up more fries

She was getting so turned on by him it was beginning to feel uncomfortable

She picked up her glass of water and squirmed in her seat.

When they finished their meal the left but not without the waitress slipping her number to Russell.

“So I’ll see you around?” she said taking off the sweater

He nodded his head again and she sighed angrily and walked out, he could have at least given a decent goodbye. He confused her, one minute he cared the next they were nothing.

“Baby I think you’re going the wrong way” Sam told Josh who was dressed as himself for the Halloween party even though it irritated Sam who was dressed as a fallen angel

“It’s the right way”

“No it’s not”

“Yes it is” Josh argued back

“Josh just admit you were going the wrong fucking way” Sam snapped

“I am going the right Fucking way” he snapped back his voice raising

Hayden sat in the back seat awkwardly, hoping something would end her misery

“And take off that stupid hat” she added referring to the snap back he was wearing backwards


“Ugh” Sam huffed and opened the car door while the car was moving making Josh hit the breaks

“Are you out of your fucking mind Samantha” he yelled

“Don’t yell at me”

“Hey guys why don’t we ju-” Hayden tried interfering only for her sentence to be cut short with a door slamming

“Un fucking believable” Josh mumbled and opened his door and followed her out of the car while she remained in the back seat blowing a red lock that kept falling in her face out of her eyes.

Hayden was wearing what was meant to be a cheetah costume. The tight-fitting jumpsuit was sleeveless and was covered in cheetah print. She wore the outfit with red lipstick and red pumps. Her hair was in wild curls on her head, with some of it pinned back and the rest of it falling in loose curls.


The party was at a huge mansion full of beautiful paintings and drunken people; grinding, kissing and probably having sex somewhere

“What do you want to drink?” Sam asked

“Whatever they have” Hayden replied.

“KK” Samantha smiled and walked off to get some drinks. Her short barely there skirt catching other male attention

“Whose party is this for?” she asked

“A buddy of mine, his name is Steven”

“Oh okay cool” she answered “So how long have you and Sam been together?”

“4 years”

“Whoa you’ve been dating since you were 13?”

“No she was 13, I was 14” he answered; he was pretty tall as well like R-

Shut up Hayden

“Do you love her?”

“Yeah, Even though she drives me crazy I still love her” he smiled

“Here you go” Sam came and handed them their drinks

They all took sips at the same time, enjoying the taste of the awkward drink

“So are you gonna show on Monday?” she asked


“Good, It will be fun to have someone to sit with at lunch” she smiled

The thing that fascinated her about Sam was that she never judged and she wasn’t scared of lonely like her. She was a breath of fresh air.

“OOH I LOVE THIS SONG” she jumped grabbing Josh is hand...did she mention she had a short attention span.

“Hi” a deep voice interrupted her gawking moment

She turned and found a lean guy standing next to her, he was cute;, brown eyes and dimples

“Uh Hi”

“Steven” he smiled sticking his hand out

“Hayden” she smiled shaking his hand “The art around here is so beautiful”

“Thank you” he smiled “I painted them”

“Really?  I love art” Hayden smiled

“I have more Paintings upstairs if you want to take a look?”

Hayden wasn’t comfortable going upstairs with a complete stranger

Steven noticed the worried look on her face

“I won’t try anything at all” he smiled putting his hands up

She reluctantly moved her feet and they walked upstairs.

“So I saw you talking to Josh, How do you know him?”

“Oh uh, I’m friends with Sam”

“Ah, I see” he answered looking distracted “Okay just turn here”

They walked into a dark spacious room

“Let me just turn on the lights”

The sound of something being flicked echoed in the room and the dark room became bright

Hayden is face lit up like a Christmas tree; she had never seen so many beautiful paintings

“Oh my gosh” she laughed stepping closer to one in particular which was of a girl; half her face was imperfect while the other half was perfect

“It’s so Beautiful” she commented gently tracing it with her finger

“I know” Steven commented looking at her

Hayden blushed when she caught him staring and put the painting down

“You’re very talented”

“Thank you” he smiled taking a sip of his drink

“So what are you supposed to be?” he asked and chuckled

“A cheetah” she giggled, feeling silly in her outfit...it was tight and very uncomfortable.

“Ah” he nodded his head with a teasing smile and she smacked his arm lightly

“We should go downstairs”

“Yeah, I want to get to know you Hayden” he told her smiling “Can I have your number?”

She could say no but Russell made it crystal clear they weren’t an item so why not.

Russell watched as Hayden made her way down the steps, He never expected her to attend the party where he would be dealing drugs.

The outfit she was wearing was definitely making him hard and it was beginning to become painful, he wanted to be in her

The guy walking behind her caught his attention and he watched them walk together.

Hayden looked ahead and could have sworn she saw mike

“I will be right back” she told Steven politely, she made her way through the crowd, bumping against people and almost tripping in her shoes countless times


Mike turned around and his eyes widened at the outfit little red was in, did Russell know she was in at the part?

“Hayden?” he raised an eyebrow

“Is he here” was all she said and from the look in his eyes she knew he was about to lie to her “Please don’t lie to me Mike”

“Yeah” he answered

“Where?” she asked and he pointed to the table they were seated at which included Marie who had her arm around his neck.

“Oh” was all she managed to get out “I’ll uh see you around” she quickly turned around and walked off back to Steven who was now standing with other people.

“The asshole isn’t even looking at her face,” Russell muttered taking a sip of his whiskey. “What?” he asked Elliot who had his eyebrows raised.

“She’s single and I think she’s allowed to talk to whomever she wants,” Mike said, taking a sip of his beer.

“So Hayden’s available?” Nick, one of the friends they’d trained with, inquired and Russell ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Hayden had been talking to the little fuck for ages. Didn’t he have other guests to entertain? Russell watched her laugh and twirl her hair round her finger and he wanted to beat the shit out of him.

“She’s not available,” Russell said icily, finishing the rest of his glass then walking towards the bar.

Hayden felt a large hand on her lower back and she turned around to see Russell who looked... upset? “Want to dance?” He asked, giving Steven an icy look. Steven backed away seeing as Russell had a bigger build.

“No thanks” she answered turning back to Steven only to be pulled back into Russell’s chest

“I wasn’t asking” he told her and dragged her to the dance floor despite her protests

He pulled her closer by her waist making her movements limited, his aftershave invaded her nostrils.

“I thought I told you I don’t like sharing”

“I’m not a rag doll Russell besides we are nothing right?” she asked

Now he knew where this was going


“It’s a costume party why aren’t you dressed” she asked changing the subject, analyzing his dark clothes

“I’m death” he answered rolling his eyes

“Why don’t you dance with Marie?”

“There is no me and Marie”

“Well I don’t care because I don’t love you anymore” she told him

Russell pulled her closer, letting his fingers glide down her back gently making her uncomfortable

“Yes you do” he whispered in her ear, biting her earlobe

“N-no” she tried not to moan but with the sweet torture he was inflicting on her she wasn’t sure anymore

He pulled her impossibly closer making her feel his erection

“Oh you have no idea how much I want to be inside you Hayden”

“St-stop-”she stuttered

“I want you” he continued whispering in her ear

The music was blasting through the speakers, the room became dark

Russell’s lips fell to her neck, first smelling her apple flavoured shampoo and then her vanilla scent. He gave her a small kiss on her neck; the feeling of his cold lips sending shivers down her spine. Russell knew exactly what he wanted and he was undoubtedly going to get it.

The dance floor started to feel a little crowded, he grabbed her by her waist holding on to her tightly so that she wouldn’t wonder off.

They walked through the crowd until he found the bathroom of the venue. Russell’s hands found her waist, feeling her silky skin that was partially exposed by the pattern of the jumpsuit. He pushed her up against the sink of the small bathroom. Hayden lifted a hand to the back of his neck and his lips were warm against hers that were cooled by the minty drink she had taken. Russell’s urgent kiss had a certain roughness to it and he pulled her about the room, her heels making vague sounds on the tiles. Hayden was caught up in the kiss that was solely driven by passion.

She then only realised how in love with him she was.

She eventually managed to push him down to the seat of the closed toilet, quickly sitting on him afterwards. The faint bustle of the party could be heard from the bathroom but the rest was filled with the sounds of their kiss. Hayden settled on his lap, on the seat where he was sitting, kissing his neck softly while he moved his large hands on her thigh. Hayden could feel a rush of lust taking over and she just wanted to be close to him. She ran her hands on his chest, feeling his hard physique that was so unlike her own. She looked at Russell, observing the light shade of red left on him from her lipstick. Russell  placed a hand on her waist, while she slowly rocked back and forth on him where he sat. She suddenly got off him and then stood at the door, giving him a smile before opening it and then getting lost in the crowd.

Russell looked around for Hayden until he spotted her talking to someone. He pulled her hand, swiftly taking her outside the club. She watched him while he drove, it wouldn’t hurt to have some fun. Her hand crossed over the glove compartment, resting on his thigh. He turned to her but she seemed to have been looking out the window. Hayden realised he was on a highway and would need his full concentration so she probably wouldn’t disturb him. She made a quick note to text Sam

Hayden’s hand moved further up his leg and she saw his jaw tense. “Hayden” he said, but she just gave him an innocent look.

“Eyes on the road,” she said and then slowly started to rub him. “Russell”

“Yes” he answered clearly feeling uneasy.

“Russell” this time she said his name as a moan like drawl and he turned to her. Hayden threw her head back where she was sitting on her seat. “Russell” she said, moving her hand slowly over him. “Ah, Russell” her moans were now filling the car and she could feel his reaction to it. When they arrived at his loft, she went in. Russell who was parking the car quickly followed suit.

He walked into their room to see her jumpsuit strewn across the floor, followed by her bra and then underwear, and lastly shoes; leading up to the shower where she was standing, surrounded by the hot steam. Her hair was loosely pushed back, the smell of her perfume feeling the shower. Russell followed her into the shower, pressing her against the wall. His arms were rested on either side of her. “You shouldn’t do things, you’ll later regret” he stated looking her up and down.

“What am I going to regret Russell?” she asked, tracing a finger down his chest then down his torso; passing dangerously close to him. Russell clenched his jaw and she put her fingers through his black hair, giving him a smile before pulling him closer to her, so that their lips could finally meet. He was initially reluctant but his lips eventually moved intently to hers, his large hands finding her waist. She parted from his lips, giving soft kisses on his neck, while she ran his fingers over him, feeling his pulsing excitement. She smiled against his lip, feeling his groan that resulted from her incessant touch.  Russell was still only kissing her and she wanted so much more. She kissed down his neck and then torso, eventually giving him final kiss and a soft flick of her tongue.

Russell had her pressed against the wall and she felt his cool lips move down her body, to her chest, where his lips closed over the tip of one breast. The slow flicks of his clever tongue and his gentle caressing of her left her writhing breathlessly under him. Her whole body was craving him, he was all she wanted. Her fingers sank into the wet mess that had been his hair while she arched against him. Her increasingly loud moans were filling the shower and she finally managed to utter his name.

“Yes ?” He said, lust and desire filling his eyes. “What do you want?” Russell’s hands moved slower over in a deliciously slow manner. Hayden wanted to talk but her words were coming at as small gasps. “I can’t hear you” Russell said. He knew exactly what she wanted. His expert fingers carried on and she tightened her grip on his hair, feeling the dark locks between her fingers. Russell kissed her neck softly. Her green eyes were fixed on his, desperation evident in the lustful tears that were filling them.

“I-I-I want you” she finally managed to say in a small whimper.

Russell gave her a wicked smirk and then pulled his hand away from her, and she gasped. His hands found the small of her back and he kissed her slowly. He pressed her against the wall, intertwining their fingers and then pinning her to the shower wall. He entered her and she let out a painful gasp. His thrusts got harder and deeper and she felt as if she would shatter to pieces. Her screams were loud, and her hands were begging for freedom, to pull something or scratch something. He eventually drove her to a world –shattering bliss so powerful, she lost sight of everything but him. He eventually joined her and she felt the hard pulse of it; his strength and power filling her. He finally released her hands and they fell round his waist. They stayed like that for a few minutes and then he pulled her into the shower. She had given her all to him and was now drained. Russell was so... so ... powerful, it sometimes went beyond her.

“Are you in pain?” he asked noticing the tears that had slowly slipped afterwards. She shook her heard no, regardless of the aching between her legs; he pulled her face closer, kissing her hard.

“You’re mine” he told her and her heart shattered

So this was to prove a point?


I have uploaded so many chapters today..#dramatically ranting Please give Feedback, Fan and Favorite :)xx oh and thanks for reading :)

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