When you lose someone you care about nothing else matters in the world; your world becomes one big black hole, you lose all the happiness in your body, mind, soul and spirit.

Hayden Rivers was always the shy type who was always with her older brother, their bond grew even closer when they were abandoned by their parents.

That all changes when her older brother (Ryan) dies and leaves her alone in the big, cruel world, she feels like an ant compared to everyone else and is lost with no sense of direction

At his funeral she doesn't expect to cross paths with Russell Scott

She witnesses him about to kill someone and that creates more problems in her already twisted life

Russell Scott is the most feared guy not only in their school but around the small town the live in; He has tattoos, deals, drugs, fights,
has anger issues that get him in a lot of trouble and his own skeletons in his closet.

No matter how many people tell her to stay away she just can't


12. Chapter 12

Hayden spent the night tossing and turning in bed, her mind was filled with different thoughts about Russell, about herself and most of all what happened in his loft, she was no longer a virgin.

The thought was still fresh in her mind; she was still a little sore but other than that she was fine. After the paintballing he dropped her back home and she immediately fell asleep.

The thought of him being embarrassed of her still burned in her mind, she didn’t want to think it but he did pull away from her.

Letting out a small groan she flipped on to her stomach and sighed into her pillow

It all just seemed crazy when she panned it all out, she lost her virginity to a guy who she had incredible sexual tension with and knew nothing about him other than he is the towns supposed ‘Bad boy’.

She certainly wasn’t regretting it because she had never experienced something that could make her body feel like it was on fire, something so foreign to her innocent mind as others would put it.


They didn’t speak until they met in class on Monday. They sat together as usual but this time was different.  They both sat awkwardly and could hardly speak more than two sentences to each other, mostly ending with her smiling awkwardly. Russell took up most of space with his leg stretched out.

“How was your weekend?” Russell asked Hayden. His deep voice came as a shock to her even though it was the same voice he always spoke to her in that tone. Hayden was actually thinking about it.

“Yes” Hayden said, what the hell was she thinking? “I mean it was good” Russell was giving her an amused look and she actually felt the shame come over her. She gave him a nervous smile and he seemed amused by her little blunder. She felt so on edge she needed him to stop being so him for a minute. After their study session that night, she was incapable of thinking of anything other than him. She had to remember they were in Limbo.

Her nervous tendencies were getting the best of her. She just needed to calm the heck down.

“Hey guys”, Mr Fix came up to them, “How did the Friday assignment go?” Russell noticed the blush that took over her cheeks and smirked cockily.

“It’s good; we have a few points” Hayden politely answered

“Do you mind if I take a look,” he asked Hayden knowing Russell wouldn’t talk

She took out her notebook and handed it over

“Okay, its good but I think I have something that might help with the layout” he set her book down and walked off and she took that as her queue to follow him to his desk.

Hayden got up and Russell noticed how short her black skirt was and how her legs looked amazing in it. She had been wearing tights but the vision of her legs still left Russell moved.

“Russ what are you staring at?” Mike asked playing around with a basketball

“What?” Russell asked still unaware of what was going on around him.

“Why are you staring at Hayden?” Mike said her name a bit too loud so she turned around and looked at the two of them and they both just smiled...well Mike smiled while Russell’s face was still free of emotion. She gave an awkward smile before turning back to Mr Fix.

Russell glared at him and Mike’s smile became even wider

“Hey guys, I’m having a party tonight, why don’t you bring your sexy selves” Talia smiled flirtatiously

“Sounds fun” Mike smirked but he was thinking more in the lines of something sexually related

“Oh it will be” She smiled “Will you be there Russell?”

“No” he answered short and clipped

“Why?” she asked pouting

“I don’t think your little boyfriend wants me there” he chuckled watching an angry nick look their way every five minutes “Sorry sweetheart”

“Well if you change your mind, you know where my house is” she giggled stroking his arm

“Are you seriously not going to go?” Mike asked watching her walk away


“I don’t know, I might go there...Nikkei had another bitch fit and called quits so why the fuck not”

“Where are we going?” Elliot asked from his desk behind them

“We are going to Talia’s party” Mike answered

“Pass” Elliot answered

“What the hell? Why?”

“Dude she is a bitch”

“You weren’t saying that when you were fucking her a few nights ago”

“Hey I didn’t say she didn’t turn me one” he smirked

“Bastard” Mike laughed

Hayden watched as Talia stroked Russell’s arm and she focused her attention back to Mr Fix who was currently coughing...his never ending cough before his beady eyes scanned the room.

“You know if you ever need help Hayden, My office is always opened” he tilted his head smiling at her, he was an older bolding man with scruff on his face and a plump body with a beer gut , his hand reached out and she awkwardly moved her hand from the desk and his face straightened

She walked away, tugging her skirt down suddenly feeling very uncomfortable with her choice of clothing even though it was her attempt to drive Russell crazy, hoping his possessive side would come out and he would say if they were a thing but she didn’t even get a glance.

As she made her way to her desk but not before she stopped at the desk her friends were sitting at

“Hey guys” she greeted them smiling but that quickly disappeared when she noticed the expression on Jade’s face and Guilty look on Peyton’s

“You’re becoming awfully close to Russell” Jade spoke with attitude

“We are working on a project together Jade” Hayden answered not sure where she was going with everything

“Well guess what” Peyton straightened up getting excited

“What?” Hayden asked smiling at her giddy friend

“My designs have been picked for a runway show this weekend” she exclaimed catching a few people’s attention

“That’s unbelievable” Hayden asked really excited for Peyton

Jade pushed her chair back and walked off, Hayden didn’t know what was wrong with her but chose to ignore it and not ruin Peyton’s moment

“What’s wrong with her?” Hayden asked

“I-I don’t know” Peyton stuttered and looked the other way

“Right anyway I will see you guys at Carol’s?” Hayden said standing up

“Actually Nick invited Jade and I out for lunch at his dad’s new sushi place” she said looking at her apologetically


“But I’m sure he won’t mind if-”

“No it’s cool, I need to get some work done anyway…enjoy your lunch” Hayden smiled and walked back to her desk where Russell was quietly doodling in his notebook but quickly closed it when she sat down.

The bell rang and she picked up her bags walking out of the class room

People in the halls looked at her strangely and she shrugged it off walking out of the school, it was rainy and windy outside which didn’t help her situation what so ever

“Hey there’s little red” Elliot announced making Russell turn around and for sure Bambi was bent over picking up papers, getting soaked in the rain, he felt his jeans getting tighter at the sight of her and shifted uncomfortably

Russell watched how oblivious she was to the fuckers staring at her ass, he stood up and walked over to her, helping her pick up the papers she dropped which were now ruined with mud

“Thank you” she said gathering her books

Hayden looked up at him, despite the rain smacking her in the face, he was completely soaked and so was she

His face was hard and his jaw was clenched not liking the attention they were receiving from the other students

“Let’s go” he ordered her

“Where?” she asked

“I’m dropping you home” he told her


“What?” he asked his face holding an unreadable expression

“I already have a ride” she answered, she did have a ride and that ride was Paul.  He couldn’t just want to be seen with her on his terms

“With who?” his jaw clenched tightly

“Just a friend” she answered

“Which friend” he demanded to know and she could tell he was getting impatient with her.

“You don’t have to know” she answered with so much attitude it shocked the both of them

“Hayden” he said her name in a warning tone

“Why did you pull away from me in the shed when we went paintballing?” she asked trying not to let him know her how much it hurt from the tone of her voice.

He stared at her intensely not know how to answer the question. She clicked her tongue and looked the other way noticing Paul’s car pulling up

“My ride is here” she said about to walk passed him when his large hand circled around her arm and started pulling her the opposite direction; everyone was watching them and she blushed avoiding all eye contact.

“Russell” she whisper/yelled his name trying to tug her arm out of his grip but he just held her tighter.

They reached the school car park and he pinned her against his truck, kissing her hard, she tried pushing him off her but he was too strong and eventually she meshed into the kiss

“I don’t like sharing Hayden” was the only thing he told her and he opened the car door for her “Get in” he ordered and she did just that knowing not to push his buttons from the expression he was wearing on his face

They drove for some time but the rain was making hard for him to see, he turned into an open field and turned off the engine and they sat in silence as the rain poured down harshly

The radio volume was low playing a song by Kings of Leon which sounded like ‘The End’

She pulled out her phone and sent a text to Paul apologizing for leaving like that after making him come all the way.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you when I pulled away” his voice filled the silence “You make me feel something Hayden and I don’t like it” she could tell he was conflicted from the expression on his face

She watched as he spoke while playing with the bands on his arm

“Why do you keep on pushing me away Russell, its okay to feel” she said moving closer to him.

“That’s not me” he chuckled bitterly but she still didn’t move away from him

“I don’t believe that for one second”

Russell lifted his eyes to Hayden, his grey gaze fixed on hers and he had an unreadable expression on his face. Hayden bent down to kiss him. It was the sort of kiss that you gave someone to comfort them. Her lips parted from his and he looked at her like he was wondering why she’d stopped.

 He put his hands on her waist and she bent closer to him. She was sitting in an uncomfortable position, so she took off the beige flats she was in, this time sitting so she could look directly at him. Russell’s lips found hers quickly and she felt the rough tension. His hard kiss was enticing and with every movement of his mouth, she felt like her whole world was shifting. Russell’s hands lifted to the front of her sweater opening her buttons slowly. His eyes lifted to hers and she looked at him. His dark gaze went beyond her and she returned her lips to his. He kissed her softly now, the very sensation of it driving her crazy.

Russell pushed a hand under her blouse, which she had worn under her sweater. Her body melted into his at the feeling of his large hands. The cold sensation left her skin with goose bumps and she pressed closer to him. Her hand fell to his shoulders and then down his muscular arms that were exposed in his grey t-shirt that he had been wearing under his bomber jacket. Hayden’s hands lifted to his head, gently brushing through his hair. Her hands fell to his sides and she left soft kisses down his neck. His hands were still at her waist and she was now slowly moving on top of him, in rhythm with their kiss. His tongue’s expert exploration of her lips was driving her insane and she bit his softly.

Russell’s hand lifted to her neck, pulling her closer to him. His hand that had moved slowly down her body found its way under her skirt. His hand moved up, playing with the waist band of her tights, pulling them down along with her underwear. Hayden wished he would just touch her. Her body was yearning for him and she needed him desperately. His other hand finally found her breast and he massaged her gently, she felt a rush of passion. It felt so good. She whimpered and Russell’s grey eyes looked up at her. She was taken by the moment and her whole body was feeling it too. It was like her body was aching for him, literally.

She felt his lips return hers. The explosive sexual tension seemed to have taken over. The windows were steamy and she lifted a hand to them, leaving her trailing finger marks on it. “Russell” she said his name and he looked up at her. Her lustful eyes were fixed on his and she moved her hands down his body from his chest, quickly busying herself with the task of unbuttoning his jeans. She unzipped his jeans and his lips returned to hers.

Hayden had no idea what she was doing which was embarrassing because she always read about sex tips in Adrianna’s Cosmopolitan and Glamour magazines.

He looked handsome and she was scared of screwing it up but a small part of her felt like the captain like she could take anything.

Feeling confident all of the sudden, she squeezed his manhood and he grunted gruffly

“Easy Hayden”

Her cheeks turned pink and she apologized lowly

She stroked him gently and then positioned herself, slowly easing herself down as he filled her up completely

She started moving back and forth slowly feeling so dazed, her body felt electric. He groaned and threw his head back, squeezing her thigh

She whimpered at the intense feeling and begun to move faster, her hands made their way into his hair and she pulled it, kissing him; trying to express how good it felt

His hands dug into her skin

“Fuck” he cursed when she bit his lip, pulling it out

Hayden could feel herself going higher and higher, her nails digging into the seat, until finally her world exploded and soon after Russell released a grunting noise and she fell limp against him.

Her hair stuck to her skin, some falling around her.

Let me know what you think, feel free to comment, favorite and fan...I love meeting new people :)x and thanks for reading:)x

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