7. silence
"i ponder of something great my lungs will fill and then deflate they fill with fire exhale desire i know its dire my time today...(twenty one pilots car radio)
"yes" he said
i looked at him. i didnt know i was crying but then i felt the river of tears streaming down my face. he looked at me with a guilty face.
"c'mon i mean were SIXTEEN cas' yes i thought of abortion! i didnt think im ready ok? but i am i AM ready mainly because its yours casey and thats all i ever wanted...was to start a family with you"
"ours" i said quietly
"what"
"you said because its mine, the baby, well no its not MINE its OURS"
"yeah, i meant ours"
i got up and walked to the bathroom. i threw up.. again. im so tired of this im not ready but i dont believe in abortion i would never kill a innocent baby because of MY mistake. i walked back into his room and laid down. did he really want me to get an abortion? and that whole thing he said...did he really mean it?
' look im sorry okay? i know what i thought about probably got you mad but casey, im here i could say it a thousand times and i know you wont believe me but its true! im here for you i love you"
i rolled on my opposite side (not facing him anymore)
"love you too trev."
i woke up at 9:30 unusual saturday. i didnt wake trevor up like i usually did. i grabbed my pants and shirt from the day before and threw them in my sleepover bag. i threw on a pair of his sweatpants that he gave me awhile ago with a t-shirt with twenty-one pilots on it. i turned my ipod on the one of my good songs. car radio. i grabbed my stuff and left his house. as i was walking i texted him knowing his phone was on silent.
' hey, sorry i didnt wake you up. i dont feel good and i really just need time alone to think things out. ill text you later. i love you trevor. <3'
i got to my house right before my mom got home. i was sitting on the couch when she walked in.
"hey sweetie. no trevor today?"
"no i dont feel good"
"oh, well ill give you some medicine and you can go to sleep. when you wake up ill make you your favorite lunch. sound good?"
"thanks mom" i got up and walked to my room.
