It was around 10:30 when I got home. I felt bad leaving Ainsley alone for so long but I was out all day finding something that would make her happier. Nothing popped out. I could have gotten her something worth millions but it wouldn't change her emptiness and brokenness.
"Ainsley!" I call and when I dot hear anything, I run to her room. She wasn't in the bed.
I sigh. I need to put water on my face. I need to calm down. She's fine. Is she? I walk to the bathroom and the door hits something. I peer in to find Ainsley passed out on the floor with cuts on her wrist. "Oh my god." I mumble. An slip through without hitting her head. I look in the toilet to see vomit. I flush it and pick Ainsley up bridal style. I laid her on the bed and scooted in next to her. Even with all her bruises; the cuts she made. She was still the most beautiful girl I've seen. I brush her hair out of her face and stop as she starts shifting from side to side screaming "get off me!! Please don't touch me!" She arched her back and then I saw tears spilling out of her eyes while she continued screaming and crying. I grab her and pull her in a tight hug. She's thrashing and kicking but I held on tightly until I felt her soften. Her arms wrap around me and she starts crying again. But not like the scary one in the dream. More like a soft cry. Which made me break down even more, all her pain. How does she act so strong with all or this?
"It's ok." I say in her ear, stroking the back of her head. "Your fine. Your safe. I won't hurt you, I promise." She pulled away, giving me a quick smile before getting up. Wen I saw the cuts again, I jumped up taking her arm.
"Jonathan. Let go of me." She says trying to pull her arms out of my hands. But I'm too strong and she can't pull back.
"Why? Why Ainsley? Why would you cut yourself? I-I just don't understand." I said, choking on my words a little. She just laid back down, crying in the floor. I pull her back up and hug her into my chest.
"I'm sorry. I was only hurting myself. I didn't expect to hurt you too. I didn't think you would care." She said. Her mouth was dry and her voice was so hush, a mouse could barely hear it.
"Listen to me Ainsley. I live you so much. Starting now, you harm yourself I harm myself. That means you cut, I cut. You die, I die. I would never stop caring about every little part on your body. I'm sorry I wasn't home. I was out trying to find something to cheer you up but I didn't find anything. Nothing. I'm sorry."
"Love me." She said, her voice was still quiet but it sounded adorable. Yet I didn't understand what she meant.
"Um...what?" I see her looking serious, yet pain still lingered in there.
"If you want me to be happy again, love me. Don't leave me. Don't cheat on me. Definitely don't leave me outside any place outside of public." She said and I pulled her in a hug. I kissed her forehead. "I won't." I say and we pay down in bed together to fall asleep.