This is Crazy, but I'm in the Bayverse!

This is Crazy: Book 1. I have seen all three movies, Transformers movies. A Transformer, in the fandom of Transfans, means gigantic alien machines that can scan vehicles and become them, hence, becoming Robots in Disguise. They are not the powerboxes that you see on the poles. They have sparks, which generate their personality and life being extremely vital to living itself. And then there's the Allspark, the cube. I have seen the first movie several times directed by Micheal Bay, the worst director ever. Why? I'll get to that, as soon as this Dark of The Moon is about to end.


57. BONUS chapter: Megatron, She's only human

Summary: Megatron and Starscream  end up in a  world where minds can become solid. Apparently Ivy got to the trouble to use their holoform advancement machine  to see if it works. That’s how this Crazy, but short adventure came to be. Megatron discovers a little more about this…Crazy vermin than he would have cared. (Despite regarding Humans as inferior)

~                                                                   ~

Megatron,” Starscream tells him. “She’s only human.”

Megatron grunts.

Megatron had been in the middle of complaining about a human known to them as Ivy Bell; who they called ‘weird human’ or ‘That Crazy Vermin’ among themselves. Under Cybertron it was an entire different story; A different story that Decepticons were familiar towards these solar cycles. Ivy was vague with them, and intelligent.  The only reason why Megatron is complaining about her today is…because of her involvement with a project involving holoforms.

“She knows me too well.” Megatron said. “And she acts like an alien trying to understand our species!”

 Starscream takes a stop.

“To her, we are the aliens.” Starscream said, rationalizing the scenario. “And to us; she’s an alien.”

Megatron is walking ahead Starscream, apparently tuning him out.

“The Fallen never considered this, THIS, of all things to be his worst choice,” Megatron continues on, heading down the cracked and woren-through hallway. This hallway has dead branches. Form objects that had prices on their value lay broken in pieces.  The ground trembles with every move the Decepticons did.

“What choice?” Starscream catches up with Megatron.

“He let Ivy use it.”  Megatron grumbles, waving his gigantic servo in the air.

  Starscream could tell whatever Ivy did had done didn’t sit well with the WarLord.

“Master, I do not understand.”  Starscream tells Megatron

Megatron simply ignores Starscream’s remark.

 “That barbarian got herself into the holoform system.” Megatron goes on, he stops looking to his right.

  Starscream’s optics stops moving. Wasn’t Starscream supposed to be Ivy’s ‘watcher’? The seeker rubs his forehelm; doing work to keep the others online with different, unusual Decepticons was a busy task. He didn’t have a plethora of time to spend. Not like he was young again and war wasn’t on, yet.  Ivy is the girl who knew too much. The girl he didn’t really like being ‘a watcher’ over.

Sometimes he just didn’t understand human female’s.

They entered a room with countless thresholds and machinery connected that were still alive, still going.

“She hasn’t destroyed this,” Megatron’s optics becomes heavy for a moment. “Yet.”


 The machine that Ivy had used a couple minutes ago slides down from the upper level to their level. It was glowing a different hue, calm and relaxed. There were some red signals coming from the sides. However it was making cool, collective not dangerous sounds yet similar to a cats purr. Starscream took a step forward.

“How…How did she operate this?”

Megatron shot him a glare.

 “She’s been around for far too long.” Megatron comments, looking down to a small bag of popcorn on the ledge.  “…And grown careless about it.”

  Starscream  goes  to the side of the machine.

“Two more spots are available.” Starscream said, and then he repeats himself, counting himself and Megatron. He couldn’t believe what Megatron was even thinking at this time!  “…wait. Are we going after her?”

Megatron comes closer to the machine, putting his digit on  a screen.

“The Fallen said we have to,” Megatron said. “And we are only ones who know where she would be at.”

“No,” The Seeker argues back, accidently putting his small and segmented servo on the screen. “I don’t know her that well!”

 Starscream is in the same boat as Megatron; they both didn’t really like humans, nor did they find Ivy to be a likable piece of flesh. They had to make sure she was still alive for some ‘legend’ The Fallen spoke highly of. They had to return her into their reality.  Ivy was just in a computer generated holoform machinery keeping the flesh, organic individual in its core.

 Getting out an organic from the core is a messy job.

 So they had to take the easy-short cut; get her out willingly.

“I swear, Ivy will compare this to something she’s seen!”

“She’s only human.” Megatron said; finding himself repeating what Starscream had said.

They both transform into their cybertronian flight modes.

“You owe me a city named after me.” Starscream reminds Megatron.  “Not a planet, not a human, not a galaxy.”

“If you turn out to be wrong; you owe me.” Megatron said, in his most non-grateful voice.

~                                             ~

 The scene switches to a real-life like Chicago. Ivy was looking around confused walking down the street. Where am I? She didn’t feel young anymore. Ivy felt much, much older. Like a woman in her mid-thirties (Which she does look that way) wearing a pink shirt, blue jacket, jeans, and shoes without laces.  She has a black purse over her shoulder.

“Uh…” Ivy bumps into a man. “OOPS!”

 The first man shoves her away.

“Watch where you are going!” He sneers at her, holding a retractable knife out at her.

“What was that?” The first man’s friend asks.

Ivy  takes a step back.

“Sorry, I…Um…” Ivy was acting suspiciously to him, grabbing her purse and messing with the strap. “I don’t know where I am.”

 The second man laughs.

“Are you serious?”

Ivy nods.

“Serious as I’ll ever be.” She said. “Never been here in mah entire life!”  

“You are in Chicago.”


Ivy is essentially acting as though she has something important in her purse (Which she does), getting the first man’s attention quite quickly. Ivy curls back some hair behind her ear, apologizing for her loud statement.  She is shaking. She is clueless. Ivy is not prepared for a life in the city. Why did I choose this form? Ivy wonders to herself.

“What’s in there?” The first man asks, caught on by her suspicious behavior.

Ivy goes past him, running into an alley shouting “Nothing!” when really she had an allspark shard inside. The glint of her large allspark shard attracted their attention even more. The men follow her into the alley. People didn’t notice, not even a cop meant to help someone in help. Ivy stops at the end. Crap!  She thought, I’m in a little slagging dead end.

“Give us the purse.”

Ivy turn around, she had to say something…quickly to throw them off.

“Ya know that I’m pretty worthless!” The small, short woman squeaks.

 The two, daunting men look at her.

“What.” The men repeat at once, as though they were programmed to state what they had said.

She had to push the weirdness level up a notch.

 “Ya heard me!” She shouts. “I’m a girl who’s wearing 3-D glasses, not ya average purrson! I-I-I know some pretty destructive Decepticons who’ll beat ya up!”

 The first man draws near towards Ivy.

“Oh really?” The second man asks, tauntingly.

Ivy clears her throat, sticking her hand into the purse feeling the allspark shard for some confidence.

“He might be a coward, but don’t underestimate somebody when ya insult them.” Ivy said, with a smirk. “That’s what I did,” She points to herself.  “And look, I’m still here!”

The holoforms of two, individual men appear at the opening of the alley looking really ruffled up . . .and  very war-prepared. Well, they look hot. Megatron is taller than Starscream; he looks very attractive, wore an army suit, and has black hair that’s graying at the sides. His appearance strongly could remind a movie-goer of a cartoon general and a character from an anime comic or a CGI character designed by Disney.

“Is this what color looks like to humans?”  Starscream asks, catching the two men’s attention.

The men are startled by their sudden arrival.

  “Color looks hideous!” Starscream insults the color of everything from his shoes. “What kind of mockery is this? I’m supposed to look fabulous!” He frowns, looking away from his feet. “I am supposed to look better than you two, but no, I’ve been given something much worse than that!”

 “Punk, stop talking,” The first man said, turning away from him towards Ivy. “And leave us be, you too, big man.”

Ivy smiles a bit more.

“I’m not a big man.” Megatron said, taking out a gun as he took a step forward. “Do I look threatening to you?”

The men turn away from her.

Starscream taps his chin.

“I like the word punk,” Starscream admits, taking out his own small pistol. “But I am not going to stop talking for you vermin’s!”

Ivy laughs.

“Oh primus.” Ivy slaps her knee.  She shook her head, while laughing.  “This reminds me of Human Error part 1 and Part 2.” She wipes off a tear of joy. “Watching dat once was enough!”

~                                         ~

   The two Decepticons and a  Human return from their unplanned for adventure. Ivy landed on the floor straight from the ceiling. But she claimed, “I am okay!” as though not a bone in her body was broken.Megatron and Starscream found her to be stranger than usual. Megatron inadventurely finds himself wondering how old she pictures herself to be.

  “How old do you see yourself?”


 “You looked like a thirty-five year old human.” Megatron told her. “I want to know if there’ s something I don’t know about you humans.”

Ivy climbs up to the ledge, then grabs her popcorn.

“Megs,” Ivy said. “There’s a lot ya don’t know about humanity, and there’s a lot that Transfans don’t know about ya.” She winks at him., dodging a quick shot from Megatron. “And I will NEVER…. EVER use this machine ever, ever again!”

 She hops off the ledge to a neighboring table missing a large blast that instead hit the wall.

“You miiiiised!” Ivy teases Megatron.

 Ivy stuck her tongue out at Starscream.

 “You suck at shooting!” Ivy said. “I’m so sorry,Screamer,  but ya aimin’ is terrible than dah movies, seriously!”

Ivy walks away from the two.

“Did she just insult me?” Starscream asks, wondering what he just heard.

Megatron rubs his chinplating, developing a  better opinion on this 'barbarian'.

“I believe she just did.”  Megatron said,walking away from him.

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