“Emma!” My mother rushed to my aid as I came home in the rainy weather. My hair was dripping and I had no umbrella in my luggage.
“Hey, Mom.” I croaked, making it obvious that I had a cold. Honestly, I deserved the stormy weather because I had just embarrassed myself on live TV, rejecting a celebrity that I love. It made no sense, but I had to get my priorities straight. Love wasn’t the first choice. My normal life was something that I needed to cherish, knowing how much the boyband has to go through everyday.
Even if I had sacrificed my winnings for my normal life, was it worth it?
I felt an uneasy pit in the bottom of my stomach.
I experienced love yet I just threw it away. Love for the first time, something I may never grasp the concept of again. Was this, this whole idea, worth it?
“Emma,” I heard a soft whisper. My head turned to the voice of my brother. My eyes teared up as I hugged him. He didn’t care if I was wet and I didn’t care either. We were finally together and I had missed him so much. He was my annoying brother and all, but he was still my twin and most importantly, my best friend.
“James.” I wrapped my hands around him and my mother as she inserted herself into our group hug.
We stayed there for another thirty seconds as our family reunion. It’s tough being away from your family for a month. It wasn’t natural for me because I had not experienced being away from my family for such a long time. I was always home, or at university and was surrounded by Jake, Mike, and James.
Speaking of Jake and Mike, where are they?
“They’re on their way back. They didn’t expect you coming home so early.” James muttered under his breath, reading my body language as I stopped looking for them.
“Emma, honey?” I shifted my head to my mother’s side, “Can we talk?”
She held my fragile and cold hand and brought me upstairs to my bedroom. We sat on the bed which I haven’t felt in weeks, which felt like years.
“We’re here to talk about what happened on television.” My breath made a sharp turn and I wanted to leave this room instantly.
“Look, I know we haven’t had the closest mother-daughter relationship as you and I had wished but now is the time where you need my help. With your fath–” My mother caught herself. Coughing like nothing happened, she tried to continue.
“Mom, I respect you and all, but you’ve got to get over the fact that Dad passed away. He wouldn’t want you sobbing about him when you still have another forty years to go. I’m not saying, get another guy because no one is as amazing as Dad, but don’t cry over him. I’ve gotten over the fact that he is gone. Although I’m not completely healed, part of me acknowledges that I cannot do anything about it.” I sighed, patting my mother’s hand.
“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. It’s just that your father– he’s–” I hugged her with sympathy written on my face.
I miss him so much. If I had one wish in my life, it would be to bring my father back. He was my everything.
He taught me things all of my teachers combined can’t teach me.
He taught me who I am, who my real friends are, how to cope with elementary school and middle school. It’s still extrememly hard to let him go.
“I know.” I repeatedely whispered to my mom, rubbing my mom’s back who was now soaking onto my wet t-shirt.
“You’re right. Your father wouldn’t want to see me like this. From now on, I’ll stay strong, like a soldier.” She straightened up. I smiled. That was the mother I knew when I was young.
“Now for what happened before on television,” I groaned for the dreadful part, “what in the world happened? You loved that man and you just threw it away to that girl who was caked with makeup?” Even my mother knew between a slut and a sweet girl.
“It’s nothing. I’m not in pain or anything.” I lied, my heart pounding with every syllable I spoke.
She raised her eyebrows at me, knowing that I was lying. Dang, she was a good lawyer.
“Come on. Start from the beginning. Speak up now.”
I sighed in defeat. She won.
“Okay, so it all trailed back in highschool.” I described all the events Felicity had done to me.
“She’s the next Regina George. She used Father’s death to blackmail me and I couldn’t afford to let people know.” I chocked on my words. I rarely cried, and the only times I did was thoughts of my father.
“Honey, I get it. I understand but that doesn’t mean you should let that immature lady control you. I know you love him. But you knew him for a month, you got your priorities straight. That’s good but,” she paused, thinking about what to say next, “do you think you love him enough to want him back? If you do, call me and I’ll get you a plane to where he’s located then. If not, I hope you the best of luck and not grieve about him. Choose wisely. This may be a hard decision.”
She got up from my bed and left. I stayed there, laying on my bed. I have another two months until class starts again.
That’s enough time to think.
After the next week has passed, I’ve become obsessive over Niall. I grieve about him, think about him everyday, and I even go on his twitter account to see updates about him. I wasn’t going on there because I’m a fan, but because I miss him. I never went out and I always stayed on my bed, eating, sleeping, on my laptop, or thinking. My brother and the other two come over everyday to play games with me and cheer me up. I appreciate them doing so however, it doesn’t always work. They got so desparate, that they even played Mario Kart on our DS, which is now older than my cousin, Thalia.
My mom left me alone since the day she talked to me. She only came to give me food. I made sure I got plenty of time alone, in order to think.
Everyday, my thoughts went back to Niall. The once tough tomboy now cried everyday to sleep. I woke up with dried up stains on my pillow and droopy bags under my eyes.
I would have nightmares of Niall, screaming at me. He would punch and hurt himself for me. I didn’t want that. Niall can’t do that for me. He’s not supposed to like me. This wasn’t part of my plan. If he liked me, then his career would go ruined because of me. I don’t want to end a band’s career. I don’t want to be the cause of it. But becaue of me, because of what I did, because of my horrible decisions, he’s ending up like this. On twitter, he’s not tweeting or anything and all the fans are worrying. Everyday, #FeelbetterNiall is worldwide and I don’t know what to do. I try to DM him but he never replies. Is Niall happy with Felicity?
That breaks my heart and my eyes start tearing up again.
Is this how fangirls feel like when they love a celebrity to so much? How the feel when they find out that their crush is dating someone else and happy?
I dug under the blankets even deeper and continue scrolling down my twitter. I was going on it more and more, tweeting everyday. Random people I don’t even know now followed me, asked me about what happened with Niall, hated on me that I met Niall.
This wasn’t fair.
People were hating on me when I’m here broken that someone else is with Niall.
I’m not even with Niall and they’re hating on me. It makes no sense. I just want to scream and pull my hair out.
I finally tweet, “Look, I don’t know why you are hating on me but I’m not even dating Niall. I’m here crying over him and it doesn’t help if you send hate on me.”
From then on, no one else sent hate and now #DonthateEmma was a worldwide trend. My tweet was now favorited and retweeted thousands of times. My heart felt a little better, knowing that some fans are considerate of me.
It has been two weeks and I was skinny as hell because of my lack of eating. My hair was a mess and my face was dehydrated into a pale face with dark circles.
James came in alone to talk to me.
“Emma,” He snatched the laptop away from me, “this isn’t healthy at all. I can’t stand seeing you like this. I talked to Mom so you and I can go to wherever Niall is right now so you can apologize to him and maybe, you can get him back. I’ll pack your things. You go search up where he is now and we’ll order the next flight to that location.” He stood up with two suitcases with one full.
I searched up where Niall was and he was at Dublin.
“Dublin.” I texted my mom who was just downstairs. I didn’t feel like screaming.
I can’t believe this is happening.
By the next day, James and I were aboard on the plane and I brought my laptop with me as well.
In five hours, I’ll be heading to the guy I rejected even though I love him.
How awkward is that?
Hey guys! So, today's Christmas Eve and most importantly, Louis' 22nd birthday! Happy birthday, Louis! (You're probably not gonna read this but who cares. I'm gonna say it anyway)
The next chapter will be up right when you get me 15 votes. It doesn't sound like a lot but it does to me so get working! I'm actually done with the next chapter. So go ask your friends to vote so you can read the next chapter. It's my favorite one!
Hey, anyone watch Frozen? It is now my all time favorite Disney princess movie XD. It's so good :)
Sorry for the long wait :(