As I walked into my first period class, I instantly regretted it. I always hated this class. It was filled with none of my friends, and all of my enemies. Well, I shouldn't call them enemies, they were just people I could never understand. They'd make fun of others behind their backs and then talk to them as if they were best friends. I despised back-stabbers, so I never got myself involved with them. I didn't really have any friends, more like people that used me for my smarts. I decided upon getting myself out of here as soon as possible, and the only way to do that was to get good grades and work my way up. It wasn't like these people would have any affect on my future life anyway.
I wanted to grow up and be a writer, or an actress. The actress thing was a little high of expectations, but my heart still dreamed of that one day I could walk on a set and have a leading role.
"Hey, Elle, did you do last night's homework?" I heard a voice from beside me as I sat down at my usual seat. I turned, startled, and nodded at Danny Johnson. "Can I borrow it? I didn't get the chance to do mine, I was out too late for football practice. Please?" He pleaded. I nodded and pulled out my ELA homework from last night.
We had been told to write a paragraph about the book we had been reading; To Kill A Mockingbird. It was dull, but it gave me something to do besides being alone.
"Don't copy word for word." I say as I hand my paper to him. He mumbled a quick 'thanks, I wont,' before going to work on copying my own work. I was listening to Mrs. Aller's lecture on the last chapter when I heard Danny speak again. He had flipped my notebook page and was reading a short story I wrote last nigt. I was just jotting quick ideas for stories, but it still made me mad that he disrespected my privacy.
"Danny, don't read that!" I mock-whisper, not wanting to disturb the class. He smirks.
"No, but this is a really cool idea, you know, the one with the vampires and the-" I slapped him, stopping him mid-sentence, before he could divulge any more of my ideas. I didn't like when people read or heard my ideas, I always got made fun of for being different.
"Ow! You bit-" He got cut off by Mrs. Aller before he could cuss me out.
"Mr. Johnson, do you have something you'd like to share with the class?" Mrs. Aller says, her tone unreadable, but not happy in the least.
"Actually, yes." He says. My heart drops as he stands up and brings my notebook to the front of the class.
"No! Danny, stop!" I squeal. I get up and make a run for my notebook, but he holds it up above my head. His tall frame towers over my 5'4" frame, so there is no hope of me getting it that way.
"Mrs. Aller, that's my notebook, please don't let him read it out loud." I plead with the teacher, who only glances back at me solemnly.
"Danny, is that true?" She asks.
"No, Mrs. A, this is mine. I just wanted to read some ideas I had about a book I want to write." His words almost make me cry. Why does this all have to happen to me? I sent a silent prayer that Mrs. Aller would side with me and demand that I get my notebook back. But she allowed him to read it to the class.
One idea after the other was divulged, class mates laughing in glee the whole time. My face heated up and I was on the verge of tears, my vision getting cloudy. I couldn't cry in front of the class, it would make this whole thing worse. I quickly gathered my stuff and ran out the door to the bathrooms.
Once I was safely locked in my stall, I picked up the item I had refused to use in a long time. I thought I would be good. Well, I guess this just goes to show you that things change way too quickly in life. Danny would get his revenge, but first, it was time I got revenge on myself for allowing him access to my personal journal. I loved the way the light from the bathroom made the metal razor shine with radiant beauty. Most people would never see this beauty, but to me, it was all I had.
A lifetime of loneliness? No, of course not, it was a lifetime of love/hate relationships with this razor.
I quickly bit my lip and slid the razor against my forearm's skin, being careful not to open any of the other marks. I had the tears running down my cheeks even before I entered the bathroom. I felt the dull sting of the razor and then the pure joy of actually feeling something after so long.
"They called me stupid," I said, making another mark, "they called me annoying," another slash, "they made fun of my ideas," another slash, "they were laughing at me," another slash. That was the last one I would allow myself before someone barged in here and found out my dirty little secret. I grabbed some toilet paper and placed it over the bleeding cuts. It burned, but it was a good burn. It was a familiar burn, a great burn.
I stepped out of the stall after throwing away the blood-soaked paper. I also cleaned the floor of any blood drops before I left. I pulled my sleeve down as I entered the hallway, hating that any of this had to occur. Tears still found their way down my cheeks from excessive embarrassment. I made my way back to ELA, but only to grab the book I had dropped on the way out. I didn't even realize it was gone until I searched through my book bag for the razor.
I walked in there, tears still flowing, but by this point I didn't care what they called me. My tolerance and self control was already reduced to zero.
Eyes followed me as I made my way over to the lonely book that lay on the floor by my seat. I wasn't staying in this class, I was leaving and driving home for the night. There was a chance I wouldn't even come tomorrow, either.
"Here you go, spaz." I heard Danny's voice as what I assumed was my notebook hit my in the back of the head, and hard too. I spun around, and found him less than 3 feet away from me.
"Shut up. How much did you read, huh? Did you enjoy belittling me? In front of this whole class? Real 'cool', Danny, real 'cool'. Because that's what you're going for right? Making the unpopular girl feel less of herself in front of others to make yourself look 'cooler'?" I paused when a look of regret passed his face, and then kept on, "because you did a good job."
I sniffled as a few more tears made their way down my cheeks, picked up my notebook, book, and bolted back out the door. I wiped my tears away with my sleeve, and walked out the door of the school.
So, a new story! What did you think of the first chapter? I know, I know, it sucks, but it'll get better. I was just on a low time limit tonight. It's pretty late here, and it's Friday tomorrow, so I have school. And I'm not happy about it either. Ha, so tell me what you think? Comment if I should keep this one going.
It's not a fanfiction, it's actually a real story. And I had mega writers block, that's why it sucked. I just felt like using my Movella again so you all see I'm not inactive.
Comment what you think. Please and thankyou! Xx
Love you all! Xx