Girlie & David

Behold; a Lilo and Stitch remake with dirty jokes, Gravity Falls characters, and David Tennant!


2. Chapter Two

     Girlie rushed out the water, as fast as she could, changing into her hula skirt as she ran. Her bare feet caught tiny grains of sand, annoying her, but she had no time to brush them off. She had to go as quickly as possible. She was already late, late, late.

     She ran inside through the back, her dark brown hair dripping on the stage. She joined the rehearsal with the rest of the girls, swaying through each movement precisely and delicately, like a palm tree in the gentle breeze.

     Towards the end, she chanted with the others in Hawaiian, "He Inoa No Kalani Kalakaua
 Kulele," which sounded like gibberish to her, before the other girls slipped on the water that had splattered all over the stage.

     The hula instructor, Dipper, stood up. "Stop! Stop! Girlie, why are you all wet?"

     "It's Sandwich Day." Seeing that Dipper was even more confused than before he had asked his question, she sighed and explained, "Every Thursday, I take Katniss the fish a Nutella sandwich."

     "Katniss is a fish?"

     "But today we were out of Nutella, so asked Prez what to make her, and she said a tuna sandwich. I can't give Katniss tuna! Do you know what tuna is?"


     "It's fish! If I gave Katniss tuna, I'd be an abomination! I'm late, because we had to drive to the store, and buy Nutella, because all we had is - is stinkin' tuna!"

     "Girlie, Girlie, calm down. Why is this so important?"

     "Katniss controls people's sex lives."

     Behind her, Ashley said, "You're crazy."

     Girlie shrieked, launching herself at her and attacking her with full force. She was pulled away from the fight by Dipper, who raised her in the air. She dangled limply like a ragdoll as he attempted to calm everyone down. "Girls... Please. Shh."

     He set Girlie down, and she immediately began to apologize, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I won't do it again!"

     "Maybe we should call your sister."

     "No! I'll be good! I wanna dance. I practiced. I just wanna dance. I practiced."

     Ashley remarked, "Ew. She bit me," which was promptly followed by an "Ew!" from her posse.


     The girls whooped and hollered excitedly, leaving the dance school, and Girlie trailed behind quietly, keeping to herself. She slowed down when Dipper came to her and said, "I called your sister. She said wait for her here on the porch. We'll try again Sunday." He went back inside, and Girlie walked off anyway.

     "Does this look infected to you?" Ashley questioned, extending her arm and looking at the bite.

     "Yeah," one of them replied.

     The girls gasped when they realized Girlie was walking behind them.

     "You'd better not have rabies," Ashley sneered.

     "If you have rabies, the dogcatcher are gonna have to cut-"

     Girlie looked at the dolls in the girls' hands. "Are you going to play dolls?"

     The girls slowly put their dolls behind their backs, as though the snail-like movement would either disorientate Girlie or go unnoticed by her. "You don't have a doll."

     Girlie pulled out a doll from her bag, causing gasps from the others. She looked down at it as she introduced it, "This is Little David. I made him. His crotch is too small, so I pretend he was castrated, and he's upset because he only has a few days to-" Girlie brought her gaze up and saw the others had already left.

     Frustrated, she threw Little David on the ground and walked away down the hill, before hurrying back up, lifting him, hugging him, and continuing back to her house alone.

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