1. Terror, Anxiety and Other Overrated Aspects of Life
Anxiety is a funny thing. Not actually in a ‘haha, funny’ kind of way, but funny in a: ‘what the actual fuck’ up kind of way. Like life is deliberately trying to fuck with you, just to mess with your head. One moment you’re just sitting in your room, doing homework, and the next moment you’re rocking back and forth on the floor. You bite your cheeks to keep yourself from screaming. And as you’re sitting there, eating your screams, you realize that you can literally change anything in your life, right now, right here: You can go tell your abusive boyfriend to stick it up where the sun doesn’t shine, you can go out for a long, long run and only come back when you’re feeling like you’re about to faint. You can also start your own band, run away from home, or kiss the person you love. There is actually no-one stopping you, and the door is right there. But still you sit here and come up with excuses. ‘I deserve to be in a unhealthy relationship.’, or ‘What does it matter? I’ll still have fat thighs when I get home.’. Maybe you’ll think: ‘I’m not really that good of a singer, what if they laugh at me?’ or ‘But this is safe. I can’t leave this safety behind. I’ll just stay here.’. You’ll probably tell yourself that: ‘No, there’s no way he’d want that. I’m too pathetic for him.’.
What are you supposed to do about these voices? Are you going to ignore them? Are you going to go out on a wim? Do you dare?
Anxiety is, when you get down to it, a fear so violent it shakes you to the bone.
But of all fears, the greatest is that your last breath will be a sigh of relief.