I Have Always Loved You

My letters to my boyfriend. Inspired by R.D.M. Goldlight and SMD1120.


1. Intro and 3/12/14

           We didn't have school today due to a snow storm, so I decided to make a movella about you. I have always loved you, the way you smile, your brown eyes, your laugh, but you have never told me that you love me just as much. I don't mind though, because I will always love you.

            Ever since the night you gave me that stuffed whale/shark (you think it is a whale) I have been curling up with it and I end up sleeping with it. I even named it Squishy! When I ever I see it, hug it, or even just touch it, it reminds me of you. Even though I have thanked you for it, I still have never told you how it makes me feel about you.

             A few days before Valentine's Day, this one boy named Josh started to ride the bus in the afternoon, which is the only time we could talk to each other. He has made me see another side of you, you cuss, say dirty things, and ignore me. Josh asks me if have hugged you, held hands with you, or even have your phone number. I have told him no and he calls us lame. I don't care. I don't think you are. You now play on your phone until Josh gets off, then I can only have a two minute conversation with you before I have to get off. Any conversation I have with you gives me butterflies in my stomach. I have never told you how I fell about you because you always sit by the window. I'm lucky if you even get to sit by the aisle. 

             Monday night I was told that my grandfather died that morning. I was upset. I wanted to cry. I was so mad at the world that I kept yelling during lunch "I'm just going to die in a hole!!!" Then one of my friends said "Can I help you dig that hole?" Then she would laugh. Did she really think that was my joking around? I might have laughed, but on the inside, I was upset. Did you hear me say that during lunch, that I just wanted to die? You probably didn't. I wish you did, and that you can hug me and make feel better. I might not go to school Friday, or I might just go until 4th period, so I can only see you during math class and possibly on our way to 3rd period.

            Have you ever just wanted to hug me, hold hands, comfort me when I'm upset, or even just say you love me? Do you even love me?  I know that I absolutely do.


            I hope you liked it. This actually how I feel to my boyfriend. My grandfather also died Monday morning. It's all real.

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