I decided to stay home Friday and not go to school. I was going to miss you. I decided to tell you on our way to our lockers at the end of seventh period. I told you that I was going to not be at school tomorrow and you said "I know." I thought maybe you heard my conversation with one of my friends that morning on the bus. I then told you I was going to be crying tonight and tomorrow. You said "I know." WHAT DO YOU MEAN I KNOW!!!! I was so confused. How did you know. I wanted a hug or reassuring "It's going to be okay." I guess I will see you Monday.
I went to the funeral. It was fun the night before. I was up til midnight playing pokemon with my half brother. I told him how you brought your little Game Boy on the bus and showed me your pokemon Yellow with terrible graphics. When I first got there, I was hoping you had seen it in the paper and wanted to come. You didn't though. I had drawn a picture that I had spent all day to give to my grandfather to have when he is buried. I even wrote a letter on the back that was suppose to be just for him. After some people had grabbed it and read it, everyone wanted me to read it to EVERYONE OUT LOUD!!!!! I did do it, I almost cried. Would you have cried if you heard it.
Every time I was about to cry, my amazing half brother bumped his arm since we were sitting side by side. He made smile and laugh. It reminded me of how you always make me laugh or smile.
On the way home I realized that today it has been a month since Valentine's Day. We gave each other gifts. I gave you a drawing of the first Pokemon starters with a Pokemon poem on the back. You gave me a box of Sweet-tarts. I didn't think you would give me anything. But you did.
Here is the poem:
Charmanders are red, Squirtles are blue.
If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you.
Your smile is stronger than a hyperbeam.
Like Jesse and James we'd make the prefect team.
I'll stay by your side like Pikachu and Ash
and I'll love you more than a level 80 Rapidash.
You are more legendary than Zapdos, Entei, or Mew,
but out of all 646 pokemon, I'd choose you. <3
That was the first time I had ever told someone I loved them. It felt good to get that weight off of my shoulders.
I wonder how you felt to know I wasn't at school, I bet lunch wasn't lonely. You always talk to your friends. Sometimes I would occasionally glance over at you to make sure you could smile at me if we met glances. We haven't yet. I still wait.
When I read the letter to everyone, I thought about you. How you would have felt if you heard it. How I would have ran and hugged you when no one was looking. How I would say "I love you." In a whisper as everyone was crying. If you would have gotten me a rose from the bouquet on my grandfather's casket. How you, my half brother, and I would talk about pokemon the whole time at dinner. All those little things that would make me love you more.