School felt like pure torture. My mind was always somewhere els and I couldn't help but check my phone every minute. My grades dropped and my parents got angry with me. My whole life was upside down. It seemed like nothing could make me happy anymore.
'I'm glad that little fag is gone.' I heard Mlilo say in the hallways. I walked over to him and he smiled at me. 'He Styles, ready for the big game today?' Milo said as I joined the group. 'I'm not playing.' I simply said. 'What do you mean you're not playing?' 'I'm not playin, and don'tn try to change my mind because I'm sure about it.' I walked away before he could even try to change my mind.
The whole day was slow and painful and I didn't even go to the last three classes, I just kept standing against my locker and eventually slid down agaisn't it. I hid my face in my hands and tried to clear my mind, but I coulden't. 'Harry?' A voice asked. I looked up and saw Alice walking towards me. 'Why are you sitting here?' She asked. 'I...can't concentrate on the lessons, I needed to be on my own for a while.' I aswered. Alice sat across of me. 'Are you okay?' I took a deep breath and looked over into the hallway and back at Alice. 'I'm slowly losing myself. I just really need Louis in my life.' I sighed. 'I know we had a bad start but we can start over again can't we?' I slowly nodded. 'Has Louis already called you?' Alice asked. 'No, he doesn't want to call yet because he doesn't understand everything yet.' 'Ah, that's why.' 'Do you think Louis will wait for me?' Then I realised how insecure and fragile I sounded, and it was obvious Alice heard it too. 'There is no doubt in my mind that Louis loves you. Ofcourse he will wait for you. Are you really going to wait three years for him?' Alice asked. 'Ofcourse. Louis is my souldmate. I miss him already.' My voice faded and tears started to well up again. Alice looked at me and hesitately laid a hand on my shoulder. 'It's gonna be alright.' She murmered. 'P-please don't tell anyone I cried, it would kill me.' 'I won't tell anyone I promise.' I wiped away my tears and stood up. 'I'm going home, I can't stay here.' 'Okay, take a rest.' Alice said before I got up and left the building.
It was night and it was a beautiful bright night sky with lots of stars. I stood on the balcony staring, thinking about Harry. I wondered if he was thinking about me right now. Everything in school was going quite good, I found some friends and my aunt is very friendly but I just needed to go home again, I needed my friends, my own school and I needed Harry. I just wished I could go home. America may be a nice place but it was not my own. Thanks to Harry I learned to stand up for myself, to believe in myself and when he was around I always felt strong. Now I was on my own.. Ofcourse there were a lot of people around me, but the truth was I never felt so lonely.
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
'Are you stargazing my dear?' I turned around and saw my aunt smiling at me. 'Yeah, I love looking at the stars.' 'I know, you already did that since you were a little boy. You are not a little boy anymore now, look at you all grown up.' My aunt said. 'Is there a special girl in your life?' She suddently asked. I looked at the ground and back at my aunt, trying to come up with something, I didn't want to lie to her. 'There is someone special in my life...but...it's a he...' My aunt stared at me for a while. I was really scared for her reaction becaus I knew almost my whole family at my father's side was homophobic. 'So you are in love with another man?' She asked. 'Yes, actually...we are together.' Aunt Lisa didn't say anything for a while then she shrugged. 'If you're happy than I should be happy too.' I sighed in relief. 'So you left your boyfriend behind?' 'Yeah...I...I..Yes.' I turned around and looked up, trying not to cry, but it failed. 'Louis dear?' I turned around and my aunt walked closer to me. 'Are you crying?' 'I just really miss Harry, I...need him.' 'Don't worry, if he is a keeper, you will see eachother again one day and it will be like you were never apart.' I nodded slowly, hoping she was right.