I barely slept and I wish I could stay home but I had to go. Mondays were the worst. I stayed behind when the bell ringed, so the hallways were empty. But then there were some fast footstept. And Then I saw a blonde boy with a scared expression running trough the hallway. 'Niall.' I called him. He stopped and walked towards me. 'Oh luckely it's you.' He said, trying to catch his breath. 'Why in such a hurry? It's like you're scared or something?' 'Liam's sick so...' 'No one will hurt you Niall.' I saw Niall was still looking around a little panicked so I patted his shoulder. 'Don't worry buddy, I got your back.' 'But if you stand up for me people will bully you.' Niall said. 'They can do what they want, I'm already broken.' I said before walking off. But Niall grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. 'Broken?' 'A lot happened in my life people know nothing about.' I whispered. 'Why don't you tell me? I'll listen, Harry, you're a friend. I want to be there for you.' 'I left my previous school because I was bullied, because of my sexuality. I swore I never wanted that again so now I'm here, pretending to be the tough, football player that gets all l the girls.' Ofcourse Niall knew I didn't tell him everything, I was glad he didn't ask to tell him more.' 'In three days we have the show, I think it's a good way to set your mind off.' 'Yeah...another thing, do you want hang out at my place in two days? My mom is cooking her famous spagetthi.' Niall nodded with a big smile. 'Ofcourse. But I need to find out how to get there first, I'll take the bus to school.' 'I'll take you silly.'
Just when I thought everything was going right in my new life, it went down again. People started to question my sexuality, people noticed I was different and again I got bullies on my back. I had Ed though, but as soon as he was not around people would make me trip or call me names. I didn't belong at the table anymore because it was rumoured I was gay. I thought people here were different but the truth was that they were just as judgemental as the people in England. And ofcourse I missed Harry like crazy. I didn't have that one guy that gave me self-confidence anymore. I needed him more than ever but he wasn't there. I could call him, or skype him, but I didn't want him to worry. I felt more lonely than ever and I started doing stupid things again, like selfharm. I would sit on the bathroomfloor for hours, crying because my whole life was upside down again.
'You look tired.' Ed said as we sat against a big tree. I was relieved I still had him during lunchbreak. 'I just didn't sleep well this night, that's all.' I answered. 'Are you sure that's all? I know, normally you would do a show with your music group in two days. Is that the reason you are sad?' 'Also, but it's also the fact that eventually everyone here will treat me the same way like they treat me at home.' 'I'm so sorry, they are all idiots. Don't give up.' 'I don't belong here Ed...I want to go home.' 'I know...'
I wished people would take me the way I am. I felt like a total nobody. People pick on people that are different to make themselve feel better. But who decided bieng gay is wrong? It wasn't a choise I made, it's the way I am. Why don't they understand? Why don't they get I'm just like them, only I fell in love with another guy instead of a girl. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong? My mom always thaught me you fall in love with a soul not with a sex, but unfortunatly not everyone thinks the same way about that.
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
She keeps me warm
I waited at the parcing lot for a certain blonde boy. 'Let's go.' I said as I saw him walking over to me.
'Mom, dad, this is my friend Niall.' I introduced him. 'And I swear, this time I mean it when I say friend.' I chuckled. 'Great, hi Niall.' My mom greeted him.' 'Hi madam Styles, Hi mister Styles.' 'Hey Niall.' Me and Niall took place on the couch, talking about everything and nothing.
'Is it okay if I skype Louis after dinner? I promised him.' I asked at the dinner table. 'Ofcours, I'd like to see Louis back.' Niall cooed. 'How is Louis?' My mom asked. 'He's okay I guess...There is one positive thing: Milo can't hurt him.' I saw Niall looking at me. 'But that piece of shit keeps hurting people.' I sighed. 'Harry, watch your words.' My dad said with a calm voice. 'I can't keep calm if he keeps hurting the people I love.' I sighed. Niall became quiet and that wasn't very normal for him. 'Dad, he didn't only hurt Louis, it's the same guy who hurt Niall.' I saw my parents looking from me to Niall. 'Is that true Niall?' My mom asked. 'Don't you believe me?' I snapped. But my mom waited for Niall's answer. Niall jsut slowly nodded. 'I hope you didn't focre the boy to say yes.' My mom said. 'Why would I do that?!' I yelled. 'What's going on?' Niall asked. 'My mom thinks I beat someone up because there was blood on my sweather. Please tell her I didn't.' 'Niall looked back at my mom and nodded slowly. 'He sais the truth.' 'alright, I believe you. But it's hard because really Harry, you have been misbehaving.' My mom added. 'Misbehaving?! I don't think you know what's going on in my mind right now! Have you ever been so Lonely, so misunderstood, so torn apart, you just want to disapear?! It's sad to know that even my own paretns to know the real me! Or maybe it's because to real me left when Louis left...' I stood up and walked up to my room, closing the door behind me.
I kept sitting there. Not knowing what to do. but I had to say something. 'I don't want to be impolite but I need to tell you that Harry is actually a very sweet guy. When Milo hurt me, he didn't care what people would think of him, he just ran over to me and held me until I calmed dow. He just struggles with bieng separeted from Louis.' 'Thank you Niall. I think you are a great friend.' Harry's mom said. 'do you think I can go to his room?' 'Yes, he's propably skyping Louis.' I nodded and walked up the stairs and opened the door. 'Hey Niall, come in.' Harry said as he patted the place next to him. He sat in front of his Laptop. I sat next to him. 'Hey!' I cooed as soon as I saw Louis on the screen. 'Niall!' He cooed back. I saw Harry had cried but now he was smilingn smiling because he was talking to his boyfriend. We talked until it was late and Harry decided to bring me home.