Walking down the street I secured the bag on my back. I had my money in my wallet and all my clothes in my small backpack. There wasn't a lot, just the basics you need to be proberly dressed. I had my files in my hand. I wouldn't say I had stolen them, I had just borrowed them for a unlimited periode of time. It's the first time I've looked through the pile of papers, I haven't been able to get myself to do it earlier.
'Rebecca Gomez, born in Texas July 22, 1992'
Gomez? Where have I heard that surname before? Looking further down the page I stopped.
'Parents: Richardo Gomez and Mandy Teefy.'
My parent still live here in Texas! Before I got too excited I looked even further down the page.
'Siblings, twin sister.
I have a twin. But.. If she's my twin, the same age as me.. Why did my parents give me away, and not her? I'll admit, it hurts a little. I always knew I wasn't good enough.
So Richardo and Mandy live in Texas, in Grand Prairie. Oh! That's here! They live just down this block in no. 54. Walking up their front porch I hesitated. I'm scared. Scared they're are going to reject me and kick me out again because they don't want me. No one wants me, why am I even trying? As I was about to turn around and walk away, the door opened. Oh no. I was met with warm brown eyes matching mine just.. happier? As I looked closer I felt my jaw hit the wet ground.
Then we both asked in unison:
"Why do you look like me!"
Me still staring at her, her still staring at me, both gaping at the other. Oh my god she looks like me, just prettier of course, she has the same voice as me, just more melodic.
It's Selena Gomez! Oh my fuck.
"Selena sweetie, who's at the door?" I heard a soft, motherly voice call out as a lady in her late-thirties possibly start forties, came up behind her. I swear I could hear her breath hitch as her eyes widen.
"Mom, who's this, and why does she look like me?" Selena demanded looking at the lady, or her mother. "I.. um.. Selena, honey, go into the living room. Rebecca, come." The lady said waving me in with a small smile. She knows my name?
Going into the living room, I say a man sitting on the couch looking up at me, with the same reaction as the lady had when she saw me. I sat on the couch beside Selena and opposite her parents.
"Will you now explain to me what's going on?" Selena demanded giving her parents a look and pointing at me.
"When I was sixteen I gave birth to two small baby girls. I feel In love with them the first time I laid my eyes on them. But I was only sixteen I wasn't old enough to raise a baby on my own, let alone two! Your father and I wasn't actually together at the time. It was complicated. But the thing is, I knew I had to give away one of you so I decided to give the first born away and that was you Rebecca. The guilt grew bigger and bigger over the years and I couldn't take it anymore. But I knew I couldn't get you back. I have received pictures of you through the years and rapports about your life so I could "be a part of your life". I really hope you can forgive me."
She was begging, crying, pleading and I could see the guilt in her eyes. I thought about it. If I forgive her, I will get the family I always dreamed of having. I would get the welcoming feeling I have been wanted for so long. But it'll also be harder to keep my secret. But I nodded at her giving her a small smile. "Yes I forgive you." She squealed and gave me a big hug. I just awkwardly sat there slowly hugging her back.
"Wait wait wait!" I heard Selena said beside me. Mandy let go of me, looking at her other daughter. "So I have another sister?" She said with a straight face. Mandy's smile faded and she looked at the floor nodding. Another sister? Do I have another little sister?
Selena jumped up of the couch squealing. "Oh My God! That's amazing!" She screamed hugging me. I laughed hugging her back.
Finally I have a family! I'm glad I meet my mom and dad, but I'm ecstatic to get to know Selena. Firstly, she's my little sister and secondly, she's my role model. I'm happier than I've ever been and for the first time in a long time, my smile was real.
After Selena and I's small happy dance around the living room I took a seat beside Selena again on the couch. I don't thing I've ever laughed that much in my entire life. I really wish I could smile everyday.
I looked up at Mandy- or can I call her mom?- and smiled, again.
"So Rebecca, where do you live?" My mother asked smiling at me. I thought she at some point followed my life, so wouldn't she know I practically live on the street? Oh yeah, she only know up until I turned 18 and had to leave the orphanage. I really don't want to talk about where I live. But I guess since they're my family, they deserve to know.
"Well, when I turned 18 I had to leave the orphanage and I didn't have much money. At first I worked at the orphanage, you know, taking care of the smaller children. But when the orphanage closed I didn't have anywhere to go, had no money, so for the first time I lived on the streets," I started feeling the tears in my eyes go down my cheeks as I continued. "And to get money I went to bars and.. and," I sobbed. I don't want to think about the horrible memories let alone talk about them. I guess they understood that 'cause Selena hugged me, patting me on the back saying everything is going to be okay. "That's the thing Selena, everything is not going to be okay! You don't know what people in the city is calling me, the most nasty horrible thing I've ever heard! I'm sorry I-I have to go," I stuttered standing up ready to run out the door, but Selena grabbed my arm.
"Can I talk to you in my room?" Selena said softly as she looked in my eyes with such caring I couldn't do anything else but nod. So we walked up the stair and into an amazing room.
It had turquoise walls and white carpet floor. A bed ind the middle of the room, two doors and the right to what I think is a walk ind closet and bathroom and on the walls was various posters of different singers and actors/actress.
Selena tried different things to get me to speak but there's nothing to talk about.
"Becca please talk to me!" Becca. That's new. I've never had a nickname before. I smiled inside. "Selena there's nothing to talk about. As you said everything is going to be fine and you know what, everything is fine, I'm fine! Selena you don't know me, I don't just open up to people I don't know. It was so hard just telling you guys about this. No one knows except you guys," I said half sternly, half crying. I know I shouldn't be so rude to her because I want a sister, I want a friend, but I don't just open up to anyone.
Selena just nodded and walked out of her room. I'm almost 100% sure I saw her wipe away a tear from her cheek, and the guilt in my chest grew bigger. If I don't do anything about this, I'm going to be insane. Guilt from other thing are there too, and this with Selena is the biggest ever. Even though I don't know her as person, only as famous, I still care for her. She my little sister, my twin, we have this special bond together. We can feel each other's emotions and she was heartbroken. I'm sure there is other thing bucking her, what I said didn't do anything better.
Still staring out in space, there was a knock on the door and it opened. It was Selena. I immediately jumped off the bed going over to her.
"I'm so sorry Selena! I shouldn't have said that," I said looking at the white carpet floor. "No Becca. No need to apologies if anything, it should be me," Selena said looking at the floor as I looked at her. Nothing is her fault?
"What do you say, can we start over?" I asked, her making her look up at me. I gave her a small smile, she smiled back as she shook my outstretched hand. "Sounds good."
"Now I want to get to now you to see if we share anything else than just looks," Selena said winking at me in the end. Getting to know her sound brilliant! But what if she founds out I'm a huge fan of her? That would be soo embarrassing!
Sitting back on her bed, we started to ask each other questions. "Favorite color?" Selena asked. "Blue!" I replied. Turned out it was hers too! "Favorite singer?" I asked her before realizing I brought this on myself. Oh man! "Demi Lovato! She's such a sweet girl! So strong! Yours?" Selena replied choosing her best friend. "Um..I..it's.. um.. it's you," I replied in a shy voice looking at my fingers in my lap. Selena didn't say anything for a short amount of time so I looked up at her. I saw tears in her eye but her perfect smile still on her lips. "Aw! I'm you favorite singer? Why?" She asked looking at me with curiosity. Should I tell her why? I mean, I'll have to lie to her a little as to why she's my role model, but I guess I could tell her.
"Um, it's because you're my role-model. I wanted to be like you. I still do. I want to be able to do the things you do. To help others. To give something to people who actually need it. And as you can do exactly that, you are the person I look up to. Even though I'm older than you," I said joking a little in the end sniffing. "Oh my gosh I'm such a cry baby!" I exclaimed laughing a little as I began to cry for, like, the 4th time today. "It okay to cry Becca. You made me cry! It's the sweetest thing anyone ever said to me! And you're only older than me by like five minutes!" Selena said laughing as she wiped under her eyes. We both laughed and cried as we embraced each other in a long, warm, sisterly hug.
After three hours of talking we figured out we have a lot in common. Favorite color, pet, day of the week, both wearing contacts instead of glasses, the same taste in music, makeup, style, and much, much more. As we continued our conversation Selena's phones started ringing. She took one look at the caller ID and smiled big. "I'm so sorry, I have to take this," she said answering the phone and putting it up the her ear.
Through out her conversation I spaced out and didn't really focus on anything but the giant smile on her lips. What was making her so happy? Who was on the phone? Will I ever be as happy? I'll have to admit, the smiles I share with Selena wasn't real. They were all as fake as me. But I don't think she noticed.
Deep in thoughts I didn't realize Selena had gotten of the phone and was now trying to get my attention. "Becca? Hallo? Rebecca!" She yelled, awaking me from my horrible thoughts. I looked at her confused as to what she wanted. "There is someone I want you to meet! They will be here any minute!" She said excited. As the door bell rings a few minutes later Selena flew off of the bed, getting a hold on my arm on the way, forcing me to come with her. As we run down stairs she let go of my arm walking to the door. But as she approached the door she got an idea.
"What if you open the door acting like you are me? It would be great for you now that I know you want to be an actress!" She said really excited about her plan. I just agreed with her idea as the door bell rang again. As I reached and opened the door my fake smile faded. Oh my gosh! What is she doing here?
"Hi Selena how are you babe?" DEMI LOVATO said to me. Okay Becca, keep your cool. Remember she doesn't know you're not Selena. She doesn't know anything about Rebecca Gomez. You have to act like Selena! "Oh hi Demi. I'm great thank you. What about you?" I asked her, making sure I sound like Selena. You see, Selena have this weird combo of an American accent and my accent. So we sound different. Her's cute, compared to mine. "I'm great actually! I have so much to tell you!" Demi said sitting on the couch as I sat opposite of her. Yeah sure as if a 20 minute phone call wasn't enough. Jeez. How long have then been apart?
After about half an hour I was getting impatient. Why is Selena not coming out? I can't keep this up much longer. I don't know her like she does. They have been best friends forever! As Demi finally stopped talking I got a text message from Selena.
"Just tell her know. Find some way to tell her. I'll wait for my cue! -Selena."
Okay, that great. Now to come up with something.. Oh I got it! Before Demi was able to say anything else I interrupted her. "Hey Demi, how well do you know me?" I asked still playing Selena. "Very well if I say so myself. Why are you asking me such a silly question?" Demi asked, clueless and a bit amused. "Oh nothing. Nothing at all. It's just amazing how you can't see the difference between Selena and her sister.. Selena come on!" I yelled the last part sounding as myself.
"I'll have to say, Demi sweetie, I'm disappointed! You didn't even know it wasn't me.." Selena came into the room looking at Demi in disbelieve. Demi looked at us in shock and started stuttering.
"But..how.. I.. um.. Huh?" Demi stuttered. Selena and I laughed and high-fived each other. "Demi this is the person I wanted you to meet. This is my big sister, my identical twin Rebecca!" Selena said as if she was proud of calling me her sister. Yeah right. Proud is the last thing anyone would be of me. I put on one of my famous fake smiles as Selena continued.
"Rebecca meet my BFF for life, Demi Lovato!" She said with a big grin on her face. Being surrounded with drop dead gorgeous girls is really hurting my self-esteem. I will never admit I look the slightest like Selena, because I don't.. No matter what she or anyone else say.
"It's really nice to meet you Rebecca! I must say you look so much like Selena." Yeah right. "Except the eyes now I look.. Selena's is a shade lighter," Demi said hugging me. Wow she's taller then me. Other than our eye color I am a couple centimeters shorter than Selena. You can't see it unless you know it.
"Ever considered begin an actress? I mean, you were really good as Selena. I have been friend with her for years and years and I didn't know it wasn't her," Demi said laughing a little at herself. Well I have given it some thoughts but it's never gonna happen.
"Not really," I just said looking away. "Excuse me for a moment," I said weakly and walked up the stairs before any of them could stop me. I walked into the bathroom, locked the door and looked at myself in the mirror sighing.
Why am I such a screw up? Selena is never gonna like me and I just lost the opportunity to get to know Demi, my sisters BFF. Can I not do anything right? As the tears went down my cheeks in lightening speed there was a knock on the door. "Rebecca? Are you alright?" I heard Selena shout as there was another knock. "Um.. Y-yeah I'm al-alright." God why did I stutter!
"Rebecca? Becca? What are you doing in there?" I heard both Selena and Demi say. Great Demi is there too. It'a bad enough my sister's there, but Demi too? I sighed.
As I went to the bathroom door it opened before I could. "I knew I had a key somewhere." Selena said looking at Demi. As she looked at me her eyes widen. Mine widen too. What? Did I forget something? "Becca? Have you been crying?" Selena asked softly, almost in a whisper looking at me with concern.
Shit I knew I forgot something. I guess there's no turning back now.
"Why are you crying?" Selena repeated after a minute of silence. I guess I have to lie to her. I'm not gonna tell her the real thing. Especially not with Demi here too! I don't even know her and here I stand in front of her crying. I sighed and sat on the bed. As Selena and Demi sat on the bed, too, I felt the tears in my eyes once again as I began telling my story.
"For as long as I can remember I have been bullied." Okay I'm not going to fully lie. "I never took it to heart because I knew it wasn't true. But I guess as the years went by, it became harder and harder to ignore. It really got to me and I felt into a deep depression. It's still there has always been." I can't believe I'm actually telling them this. It's the truth though, all of it. "No one cared for me. I had no family, no friends, no one. And now I come here, I meet my parents and my twin sister and what do I do? I cry ten times on the first day! Why am I such a screw up?" I was full on crying now. I pulled my knees up to my chest and sobbed into my knees.
As Rebecca told me and Demi her story I was lost in my own thoughts. She looked so fragile. As if she would break any second. I had a feeling she wasn't telling us the full truth but I'm not gonna say anything. I sat beside her and pulled her into a tight comforting hug. I can't believe she has been through so much! She's stronger then I thought. Stronger than I would ever be. I have a horrible secret I've been keeping for a while now. No one knows not even Demi. And I'm gonna keep it like that.
As I continued crying I felt small arms hug me. I knew it was Selena by the smell of her familiar perfume.
"Aw babe don't cry you are going to make me cry!" I heard Selena say. "Even though I don't really know you I can tell that you are a really strong girl and I know you can get through it. You just need some help." I heard Demi say feeling another pair of arm around me. I guess it was Demi. Me, Strong? Ha! Yeah right. Crying is weak. I'm weak because I cry all the time. I'm nowhere near strong.
I got out of Demi and Selena's arms and stood up from the bed. "This day have been the happiest day of my entire life. I got a family and future friend and it had to end with me crying my eyes out over nothing," I said getting frustrated with myself. "Crying is a weakness! Crying is what the bully wants from you! And I can't take it anymore! I don't know what to do!" I said feeling the tears come in my eyes once again. I can't stop, can I? I have to be strong just like Demi said I was. Starting from now I'm not crying anymore not over something like this.
"You really think you are weak, huh? Not worth it?" Selena asked looking at me in concern. "Yeah," I said in a monotone. I'm not gonna show my emotions. I'm gonna be like a closed box. Nothing comes in, nothing comes out. I just stared into space when she said something I never knew would come from her.
Seeing Becca like this is breaking me heart. Even though I haven't known her for more than a day I feel like I have known her all my life. Like she was the thing that would make me complete again, and she is. I haven't felt like this in a long, long time. And that's when I decided that I should tell her my story. How I've been feeling and why. I guess Demi would have to hear it too since she's in the same room looking at us.
"I know what it feels like. How it feels like to be ignored. How it feels like to be unwanted and how it feels like to be bullied. Both online and face to face. You're not alone Becca. You can talk to me about everything. Say something to me and I've probably tried it. I get hate from people I don't know just because I'm famous, Rebecca I'm depressed. I'm sick and tried of all this bullying shit. Demi I know you have been through it too and I'm so, so sorry I haven't said anything!" I confessed falling to the floor sobbing into my hands. I can't believe I just said all that. All of it is true. Well not the entire truth, there is something I want to keep to myself. The only thing I have full control on.
A few seconds later I was pulled off the floor and into a tight hug. I sobbed even harder as Rebecca whispered in my ear."I'm so sorry Selena I had no idea. Everything is going to be alright, I promise." Yeah, alright.. Sure. I sobbed even harder, if that's even possible, then Demi came over and hugged me. "You don't have to be sorry Selena. If you hadn't found out about me and my problems it would probably still be going on. I wouldn't have told anyone either. It's okay Selena. We can all three help each other out." Demi said hugging me so I was in a group hug between my sister and best friend.
Let's just hope they are right with what they say. I have this weird feeling, uneasy.