Two years later...
The little newspaper clip hung on Nolans bulletin board over his office desk, and he stared at it longingly, craving his touch one again. But he knew that it could never happen, it was impossible, and the ache in his chest got tighter and tighter as he thought of his freckled face, his warming smile, and the way he smelled like raspberries. Tears formed at the corners of Nolans face, and he walked out of the office, clutching the letter he had to deliver to Clark. Today was the two year anniversary of that day, the day that changed Nolan’s life for the absolute worst.
Nolan got into as car, and drove to his destination. It was snowing outside, and Nolan thought of how the snow looked in Clarks hair, the way he would stick his tongue out like a frog, and catch snowflakes.
“You’re a pathetic man Nolan.” Nolan said to himself, wiping away tears. Its been two years, and he is still not over it. The man he loved and the person he wished he had more time to love, and loved sooner was gone, and he couldn’t do anything about it.
Nolan pulled up to the small grassy field that had a thin veil of sheer white snow blanketing it. He got out of his car, pulling the scarf over his nose and clutching Clark’s note in his shaking hands. He walked across the field, the snow crunching under his shoes, and sticking to the bottom. He finally got to Clarks spot, and stopped, reading the headstone for the billionth time in his life.
Here lies Clark Phillips
loving son, great brother, loving partner.
“Hey Clark, its been two years huh?” Nolan asked the stone, ignoring the fact that Clark couldn’t hear him, and that his corpse was rotting in the ground, still wearing that unsatisfied look on his face that he had when they lowered him in the frozen ground.
Nolan remembered the warm glow his face had as he walked out of the dorm that day. His face was still blushing from making love not even ten minutes ago, slipping on his pants and shirt, giggling as Nolan would try to slip them off again, kissing his neck.
“Nolan, stop it!” he giggled, pushing the blonde boy away, and buckling up his jeans again. “I’m going to be late for work.”
“Call in sick,” Nolan suggested, pleading with his eyes. But Clark shot back him a serious look, and Nolan stared at the floor.
“Nole, as much as I would love to stay here and be with you, we need money, and plus, I only work for five hours today, so ill be back sooner than usual.”
Nolan gave out a big sigh in defeat, and sat back down on the bed.
Once Clark was fully dressed, they exchanged kisses, and Clark said the very last thing he ever said to Nolan. “Love you bye!”.
When Nolan heard him say that, he never imagined that those words would haunt him dreams, and whisper in his ear when ever he saw a picture of Clark.
That night, after Clark was done working his shift at the bookstore, Sean stalked him into an alley, raped him, beat him, done unimaginable things to him, as a punishment for leaving him for me, and after torturing him, he finally died from blood loss in that alley, behind the dumpster.
Sean was going to shoot and kill me next, as he stated in his suicide note, and then kill himself. But his plan failed, because he was high off an unknown drug, and it fried his brain before he made it 4 blocks away from where Clark was killed.
That bastard killed him.
He killed him out of jealousy and rage, and took Clarks naive nature to his advantage to kill him.
When I got the phone call from his mother, I was already pulling out my hair with anxiety, waiting for him to come back home. When I heard those words that made my nightmares come true, my heart dropped to my stomach, and my legs almost gave out on me. I was too overwhelmed.
one week after his funeral, he called his cell phone, hoping to at least get an answer, but he always got his voicemail, and every time, i would give him a message.
“Hey! This is Clark, if you got this message i’ll probably doing something, and If you gave me your name and number ill get back to ya!”
“Hey Clark. please come back, I miss you so much. i know you will never hear this, but I just want you to know that I loved you, I still love you, and would give anything to have you here in my arms.”
“Hey honey, Its been a month after your funeral, the last day I saw your face. Please come back.”
“Clark, I love you.”
“I want you to be here so badly, I want to hear your laugh. I want to feel your touch again, everyday I listen to your voice and the hole in my chest get emptier every time. I want to see you”
But Nolan never heard his voice ever again after the number was disconnected, and Clark was now removed from the world forever.
Nolan stared at the headstone, and slowly set down the note into the snow, covering it with a small stone.
“I wrote this for you my love, i hope you like it.” Nolan said, releasing the note that Clark would never read, and that would just rot into the ground with Clark. Nolan knew this, but ignored it, because reality was too harsh. Nolan kissed the stone, and walked back to his car not looking back.
I dont want to live another day without you, but I know that you would never want me to end my life so short, so I now promise to live my life to the fullest, and live the way you lived. I love you, and i dont think ill ever love anyone as much as i loved you.
Nolan went home, and stared at the newspaper clipping stuck over his desk on his office.
It was the obituary of Clark Phillips, next to the selfie that he took with Nolan on a date.
Nolan clutched his chest, and walked out of that house he and Clark were going to buy together.
And never came back.